To ask you your best corny joke for National Tell A Joke Day?

[SabineUndine]

Bring 'em on!

I'm pulling out of the darts team. I just don't see the point.

I really can't get over it.
A 100 foot wall.

My boyfriend said he wanted to go to a llama farm in Sweden. I said 'alpaca your bags!'

My wife said she wanted to go see The Monkees play live in Switzerland. I thought she was joking. But then I saw her face... now I'm in Geneva!

A photon checks in to a hotel. It is asked if it has any luggage. It replies, "No, I'm travelling light".

By the way, a word of warning on the 'stick' joke - I once tried to use it in a pub on a guy and it went like this:

Me: what's brown and sticky!?
Him: my cock

What are the Queen's farts called?
British Gas

My mate David had his id stolen, now we just call him Dav!
Did you hear about the bottle of lager that went to a party? It got drunk!

How do you get Pikachu onto a bus?
Pokemon!

Why are pirates, pirates?

Cos they aaaarrrr

I'm fed up getting told to stop behaving acting like a Flamingo.
I'm going to put my foot down. .

The bloke who invented the double entendre has died.

His wife is taking it hard.

How do you stop a rabbit digging holes in your garden?

You take away his shovel.

Why did the Chicken cross the park?

To get to the other slide.

There aren't many benefits to living in Switzerland but the flag is a big plus.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he never lands!

I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.

#2

Him: What's the difference between a cucumber and oral sex?

Her: I don't know

Him: Do you want to come on a picnic?

#3

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I can't stop humming the 'green, green grass of home ' and 'delilah'

Doctor: sounds like a clear cut case of Tom Jones syndrome to me

Patient: Is it common?

Doctor: Well it's not unusual

Why have elephants got big ears?

Cos Noddy won't pay the randsom

What's invisible and smells of worms?
Bird fart.

How do you piss Lady Gaga off?
Poker Face.

Sunday school teacher: 'now, can anyone tell what happened when Jesus went to Mount Olive?

A little lad sticks his hand up

"Popeye kicked his head in miss?'

Two monkeys sat in a bath, one says: "ooh ooh, eee eee!" and the other says: "Well put some bloody cold in then!".

We went to a zoo today. The only animal was a small dog. It was a shih zhu.

What do you call a fish with no eye?

A fsh!

What cheese is made backwards?

Edam

Nom nom nom.

boys I dont understand #

Please explain

#2 ffs!