To ask you your best corny joke for National Tell A Joke Day?

[SabineUndine]

Bring 'em on!

Oh and a Tim Vine classic... "Crime in multi-storey car parks...... Wrong on so many levels"

DD's joke:

How do you make flowers glow?

Plant bulbs

Knock knock,
who's there?
Ivor Dunnup....

What's black and white and goes red in 30 seconds?
-a penguin in a blender

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Europe
Europe who?
No. You're a poo.

What are hippies for?
Hanging your leggies on

What sport do you play with a wombat?
Wom

Did you hear about the magic tractor??

It turned into a field.

One man is speaking to his mate.
He asks 'what would you do if a bird shat on your car?'
His friend answers 'I'd dump her'
😂

Why was the giraffe never invited to parties?
He was always a pain in the neck.

Where do pirates shop?
Arrrrgos!

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field.....

How much does a cockney pay for shampoo?
Pan ten

Where do fish keep their money

The river bank

Why did the boy eat his homework - because the teacher said it was a piece of cake...

What do you call a man with a rabbit up his bum ?

Warren

What to call a man with leaves on his head?
Russell
What do you call a Man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff
What do you call a man with one foot in his front door?
Hamish

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea (no eye deer)

What do you call a deer with no ears?
Anything you like it can't hear you

What do you call a hen looking at a lettuce?

Chicken cesaer salad

Why did the chicken cross the road ... to visit the idiot ... knock knock ... who's there? ... the chicken!

DD had forbidden me from telling this one again

Have you ever had a parrot on your left shoulder?

Have you ever had a parrot on your right shoulder?

Stick your tongue out. I bet you've had a cockatoo on that!

What did the termite say when he arrived at the bar?

"Where's the bar tender?"

Telling these to my four year old now!

What did the bus driver say to the baldy cat? Where's your fare

The owner of the local ice cream shop was found dead yesterday, covered in hundreds and thousands. Police think he topped himself.

I hate candles. They get on my wick.

I was going to give up my job in the bread shop, but. I'll have to stick it out as I need the dough.

Awww. I tell you what. I think I've had my problems, but. They've really been through the shit them, you know.
My arse cheeks..

Knock knock.
Who's there.
I dunnup.
I dunnupoo