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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think it's normal to hate some people

95 replies

user1498240695 · 16/08/2017 16:44

I hate some people on this planet (no going to name names). I have a family member who declares to hate no one and verbally attacks me if I ever state that I hate a certain person. It comes across as fake and sanctimonious to me. Surely it's normal to hate certain people?

OP posts:

Nuttynoo · 16/08/2017 19:16

If you hate more than one or two people you have issues. Hate is such a negative damaging emotion

flumpybear · 16/08/2017 19:19

I do hate a few people - these people have mainly been self serving and nasty to other people, to the point of making them sick and not giving a hoot, or turning up the nastiness - one person I reserve the 'c' word for, she's manipulative and a complete bitch unless you're higher up than you, she's lost the place she works for millions of pounds yet highlights her ....well other people's achievements to get a pay rise
She's a fully fledged 'c' of the nastiest variety

PollytheDolly · 16/08/2017 19:20

Delighted that some of you are so serene and forgiving ... but to snark at and judge people without knowing anything about their situation, who is they feel and they hate and why is absolutely vile.

Polly I hate someone who has put me through probably the worst time of my life. I keep telling myself she doesn't deserve that much emotion from me. It's fucking hard. I know that indifference would knock the wind of her sails so I aim for that.

PodgeBod · 16/08/2017 19:20

I don't buy that it's so damaging to hate people. Sounds like pop psychology to me. I can function perfectly happy in my life but if certain people are mentioned, I know that I honestly hate them.

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 16/08/2017 19:26

Absolutely open-mouthed at some of the tactless, smug comments on this thread

You are a million times worse than someone who quietly, harmlessly and inactively hates the person who deliberately put them through an unimaginably horrific experience. Take a very long look at yourselves and what you're saying to people

Great post Dolly seems some people are so lucky they have never had anyone or any reason to hate.

If you hate more than one or two people you have issues

Well Nutty that depends on how old you are. The older you are the more twats people you will have come across.

I don't buy that it's so damaging to hate people. Sounds like pop psychology to me. I can function perfectly happy in my life but if certain people are mentioned, I know that I honestly hate them

I feel the same way Podge . I love my life and the people in it but I know who I hate and why and I am perfectly happy with that, because it is JUST a feeling, a thought.

MrsPringles · 16/08/2017 19:36

There is one individual that came into my life and thankfully left but still kind of lingers and I can hand on my heart say I hate them.

I strongly believe in karma and there is a shit storm coming for this person

RatRolyPoly · 16/08/2017 19:39

Ha! Well if it's all the same to everyone else, I don't think I'm any worse off for my hate. I have "peace", it doesn't eat me up, actually (as I've already said) I believe my hated of certain people serves the very important function of protecting me from them.

Some actions in this world justify the response of hatred, not least from the perspective of having some self respect. That doesn't mean seeking revenge or being rotten with bitterness, just acknowledging that someone who can do or represent certain things to you fully warrants your valid hated.

SleightOfHand · 16/08/2017 19:42

Some actions in this world justify the response of hatred This is why the world is in such a mess.

Whinesalot · 16/08/2017 19:46

Without rtft.
Absolutely not normally I think. I have never hated anyone I've known personally. There are one or two people that I've not liked as much but I've never had such a strong emotion as hate.

I can understand if someone has done something completely awful but surely that isn't the norm in most people's experience?

Of course I'd hate notorious criminals but people I actually know? No I've never hated anyone in my life.

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 16/08/2017 19:46

I believe my hated of certain people serves the very important function of protecting me from them

I feel the same Poly

To think it's normal to hate some people

MargeryFenworthy · 16/08/2017 19:46

I don't hate anyone. I'm a Christian and try to think the best of others. Of course, that said, I'm also a human being there are definitely a few people who I'm not so fond of ;-) A couple through career/work. Oh and a not so sharp acquaintance who has trumpeted her recent promotiond who also happens to have a DH who is very senior in the same company. It goes against everything I believe in as I've worked really hard to get to the top of the ladder.

But hate..? Not for me.

Mumzypopz · 16/08/2017 19:47

I think throughout my life I have really felt that I have hated certain people, but think in hindsight my hate has been unfair and misplaced....ie when you are a teenager you have such high emotions that you pretty much hate everyone. I have come to understand for someone to be truly hated they have to have been vicious, evil, or caused horrific unhappiness. I do think some people use the term too loosely though. At the moment I hate nobody, not even the Manchester bomber, who nearly ripped my family to shreds. I feel pity, not hate.

RatRolyPoly · 16/08/2017 19:52

Sleight it has absolutely nothing to do with why the world is such a mess. You feel hate, you choose how you act and you don't act in hated. I would suggest the indifference many here are advocating is more to blame for global issues in fact; simply not caring enough about other people to do anything.

PollytheDolly · 16/08/2017 20:09

I believe my hated of certain people serves the very important function of protecting me from them.

You are changing my mind.......🤔

SleightOfHand · 16/08/2017 20:13

A human killing another human isn't doing it because they feel indifferent.

GarlicGrace · 16/08/2017 20:17

I was raised to think of hating people as the worst possible thing. "Hatred makes you hateful" and other homilies.

When I eventually gave myself permission to hate people, it was great! Some people are utterly despicable (in my opinion) and it's not my role to think of excuses for the harm they wreak upon the world.

For the saintlier posters here - I do forgive them, but this is purely selfish. It's similar to washing my hands of them.

There's still a small list of people I wouldn't brake too quickly for, though ...

GarlicGrace · 16/08/2017 20:18

A human killing another human isn't doing it because they feel indifferent.

They are in military conflict situations.

RatRolyPoly · 16/08/2017 20:18

I think more often then not they are Sleight. They want something more than they care about that person's life. I don't think most of the death and suffering in the world is the product of hate, it's mostly the product of greed and indifference.

RatRolyPoly · 16/08/2017 20:20

...Although thinking about it I'm not committed to that line of thinking, she suspect we're getting away from the point.

RatRolyPoly · 16/08/2017 20:21

*AND, not she!

SleightOfHand · 16/08/2017 20:25

I think people are driven by either fear or love. More love is needed for sure.

FreyaJade · 16/08/2017 20:31

I hate the following: A doctor who was abusive towards me & is still in my workplace; Trump & his cronies, Katie Hopkins, Nazis old & new, Boris Johnson & certain Tories especially those who've voted to cut Disabled benefits; Ken Livingstone & other anti semites, Nigel Farage, Tommy Robinson of the EDL; my next door neighbour who abuses his wife; paedophiles & child rapists (absolutely despise them), ISIS & other terrorist groups; the Manager who took against me as soon as she realised I have epilepsy...

It's a longish list but I feel better for putting it out there.

LookAtAllTheBullshit · 16/08/2017 21:07

Surely hate is in the laws of physics an equal and opposite force of love.
If you have the capacity to love, you have the capacity to hate.
If you are indifferent or ambivalent about people you 'dislike', then you must be the same for people you like.

notevernotnevernotnohow · 16/08/2017 21:10

Physics doesn't apply to emotions. One can love very much without hating.

user3785022135267845922 · 16/08/2017 21:12

I don't really hate anyone (well maybe Trump! ). Class frudnd pretty much hates everyone!!! Who's right? Neither of us! We r just different and gave different experiences and views

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