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AIBU?

To not understand why teenagers are said to be quite so expensive

528 replies

theduchessstill · 16/08/2017 13:08

On here I often see it written that having teenagers is so incredibly expensive and I don't understand why.

It's actually getting me quite anxious as ds1 is 10 so the teen years are fast approaching. I followed one of those links people post last week where you put in just your income and how many dependants/adults live with you, and apparently I am better off than 81% of people now but that will plummet to 51% of people when both dc are 14 +. Obviously this is a crude tool, but it has been niggling at me.

Why are they so expensive and are none of the costs balanced by the absence of childcare fees with this age group ? Childcare is easily my biggest cost after my mortgage and I often think I will be better off when I don't need it anymore. Exactly what takes its place? I know food - and am already seeing it with ds1, but food can only cost so much, surely. What else is so expensive with teens? I know I probably sound stupid, but, hey, I want to know.

OP posts:
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theredjellybean · 16/08/2017 14:13

No more free child places on holidays I found made are usual family holiday very very much more expensive

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chelseahotel · 16/08/2017 14:14

Simple things like food costs go up - certainly teenage boys probably eat twice as much as an average adult and 5 x a 10 year old.

Fuel bills for showers and laundry.

Transport and entertainment costs more because almost everything is adult price once a child is 13 or so. A visit to a cinema or other family outing costs more. Holidays cost more because you are paying for adults not children.

They don't cost more in gadgets and phones unless you choose to pay it and remember that they no longer want "toys".

It's perfectly possible to have teens who don't wear "branded" clothing -whatever that means but adult clothes still cost more than children's. My boys were in adult shoes by age 11 and went through several shoe sizes a year during growth spurts.

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Zaphodsotherhead · 16/08/2017 14:17

I do have to say that university parental contribution starts at £21,000, so if you are on a very low income they get loans (and in the case of my four, bursaries and grants too, because my income is so desperately low).

They have all graduated now, with loans to pay back, but my low income hasn't impacted their ability to go to University at all. They all worked whilst at Uni, so didn't cost me much more than the odd few quid shoved their way when their loans were late coming in.

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ComfortablyGlum · 16/08/2017 14:17

My 14 yr old is 6ft 3, wears size 11 shoes and eats for 6!

'School uniform' now comes from the menswear section of M&S, bus far to school is £200 a term, I'm putting £20 a week on his lunch account (and it's not unheard of that it's run out by Thursday if he's had breakfast at school), decent mobile phone contract, endless school trips....the list is endless! The amount of food he eats is alarming - but he's growing I suppose so needs it.

He isn't into designer clothes though and prefers being on the computer to going out so I have a few savings there. However my youngest boy starts seniors in Sept so it's all going to be doubled - he's already tall and looks like he'll be shooting up like his brother...might get one year out of kids wear before he's in men's as well.

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GetAHaircutCarl · 16/08/2017 14:18

You can say least talk to them sensibly about money. And gradually they take more and more responsibility.

DS just came back from a lads holiday ( which we paid for ) and handed back half the spending money we gave him. He appears to have lived on beer and pizza slices.

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RainyApril · 16/08/2017 14:19

Huge difference to the cost of a meal, day out or holiday once you are paying adult prices.

Food bill at home skyrocketed.

Clothes and shoes more expensive once in adult sizes even if you don't pander to expensive brands.

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RainyApril · 16/08/2017 14:20

Oh and public transport, cinema tickets, admissions and so on, adult prices and no more family tickets.

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youwouldthink · 16/08/2017 14:21

As well as most of the above 3.5K for braces this morning! Need Gin

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GetAHaircutCarl · 16/08/2017 14:21

zaph the trouble with the maintenance loan is that its means tested and often students don't receive enough to even meet their accommodation let alone their other living costs.

Parents are meant to make up the difference.

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Themostannoyingperson · 16/08/2017 14:26

Mine isn't expensive either. DS is a young teen but has no interest in designer stuff. Jack Willis /Superdry is naff now and the whole trainers and tracksuit isn't their style. It's just jeans, converse and t shirt.
Although he is a tall skinny adult size I just buy stuff at supermarkets or sales as I did before. Mens pants and socks are a rip off though.
Is a PC gamer so him and his friends build their own so no expensive PS4 subscriptions or the like. Phone is an old iPhone and he seems to use it with no credit.
School extra cirricular stuff is the biggest expense together with going out and holidays.

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Aeviternity · 16/08/2017 14:27

Concert tickets? XD Band merchandise? Netflix AND Sky? Spa days? Festivals?

Then someone lists 'contact lenses' amongst this list of luxuries - that's a necessity, why don't people know the difference? - and 'tampons' (yes, terribly expensive) and 'haircuts because you can't just cut it in the bathroom'. FFS a decent haircut is a basic need, not just some 'luxury' a teenager gets.

I appreciate the real costs like food, school trips and pocket money, but 'tampons' and 'spa days' is hilarious.

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Dina1234 · 16/08/2017 14:27

Well there's the boarding school fees, the ski trips etc.

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Chopchopbusybusy · 16/08/2017 14:28

Sixth form transport cost us £950 for each child per year.
Food bills were huge.
Holidays and meals out were expensive. School/college trips - not compulsory but something we wanted them to have.
We did pay for driving lessons and we taxed and insured an old car of ours for them to use. Again not compulsory but it did give me my evenings back. There is no public transport here after 6pm.
We currently have two at university and although we pay out at least £9000 per year in accommodation costs for them we have more disposable income so that gives an idea of annual costs.

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GetAHaircutCarl · 16/08/2017 14:31

Actually the cost of keeping teen boys on Lynx is mind boggling Grin.

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mikeyssister · 16/08/2017 14:34

@Mesgegra, where were you travelling that charged adult fares at 12?

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RatherBeRiding · 16/08/2017 14:38

If you can persude your teenagers to continue to wear clothes from supermarkets, not go out, not have a smartphone, eat like a toddler, go to a school that doesn't have a uniform and be happy to spend their time reading library books I'm sure you won't notice an increase in costs.

In the real world teenagers on the whole aren't like that.


Indeed. If you want your teens to have hobbies, they will cost you. I positively encouraged my teens to pursue things like music lessons (plus the cost of instruments, exam entrance fees, endless ferrying to and from band practice, concerts), Duke of Edinburgh award scheme (again, this costs money and a fair bit of ferrying to meetings), drama groups, martial arts etc etc.

If we couldn't have afforded it, we wouldn't have encouraged it. But we managed to make it affordable and I much preferred them attending extra-curricular activities than stuck in their bedrooms at weekend, or hanging round aimlessly with other bored teens.

School uniform costs are pretty steep too once they are in secondary school.

And just because you don't HAVE to pay for driving lessons, why wouldn't you if you can afford it? Getting your driving licence out of the way when you are 17/18 is really useful .

They both had mobile phones as soon as they started secondary school - which was a fair way from home and we wanted to be in instant contact in the event of missing the bus, bus breaking down, etc etc.

The list goes on. You don't HAVE to buy them anything except food, basic toiletries like shower gel and toothpaste, supermarket clothing. But each family has to decide what's important.

My teens cost a fortune. I don't regret one single penny.

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Boulshired · 16/08/2017 14:39

It also depends on the lifestyle you have/had prior to the teens. If your holidays are self catering camping or caravan the cost rises will be much less than a family who are use to two weeks in the sun all inclusive or eating out. The cost of meals out as a family or a theme park day are only going to be noticed if this was your normality prior to them being teens.

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Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2017 14:40

School transport £546 a year.
School trips.
Clothes, and school uniform/shoes which they grow out of continually. Literally something that fitted before the Easter holidays suddenly doesn't after.
Football subscriptions/kit/boots and petrol driving to games.
Driving lessons (£25+ an hour) Insurance on parent's car to practice.
Food, food and more food.

DS1 has had a P/T job for two years now which has been great because he has been able to buy some non essentials like £85 shirts. I would buy him a shirt but not at that price!

I had a full time job at 16 and was paying keep to my parents. Meanwhile my DB was at Uni so can't really compare my past to what's going on now.

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Feelingiabu · 16/08/2017 14:43

My teen is constantly hungry, protein is your friend with a teenage boy!

He plays sports so there's cost implications with the clothes mainly, Astroturf is not kind to sportswear.

Trainers are a huge expense, since he was 13 his feet have increased 5 sizesShock. I try to go to outlets/sales but it's not always possible.

School supplies weren't cheap either, study books, trips but you can put money away for this typt of thing, the expensive trips tend to start around 3/4th year where I am.
It all depends on your children though, mine would go through a pair of school trousers every few weeks!

Haircut every month! Hmm

As for additional expenses like cinema etc that's always been mainly on him, through his pocket money.

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ILoveGrammar0 · 16/08/2017 14:46

Can you get kids weekly bus passes?

That will depend on the bus company which operates buses in your area. DS's monthly bus pass costs £56 at the moment.

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dustarr73 · 16/08/2017 14:46

It depends on the teens.Some dont mind Penneys or Dunnes clothes.But my lot like Adidas and Nike.

And the amount of food is unbelievable.You would have to see t to believe.
I dont think a bit of luxury is that bad.You cant expect tehm to not have the same stuff as their friends,it makes them stand outAnd when you r a teenager thats the worse thing in the world.

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Afreshstartplease · 16/08/2017 14:48

Why are people paying thousands for braces? Do your DC not qualify for them on the nhs?

Not sure if it's already been mentioned but what about children with the child trust funds / isas which they gain access to at 18. I am planning on saying to mine if they want driving lessons etc they can use that money! They are set to have around 10,000 each by 18

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EyeHalveASpellingChequer · 16/08/2017 14:48

where were you travelling that charged adult fares at 12?

In some areas, it's cheaper to buy adult weekly/monthly passes than buy a child single/return each day.

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Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2017 14:50

Driving lessons start at 17, I wouldn't have wanted DS1 to wait til he was 18 to learn and dip into his nest egg if we could pay for him. He did get a few lessons paid for for his 17th birthday.

Both mine had braces on the NHS thankfully.

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CruzRamirez · 16/08/2017 14:54

'Spa days' Confused

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