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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Apparently I should stop asking

56 replies

FridasMonobrow · 15/08/2017 22:51

I am not a nag. I pick my battles which in practical terms means I put a lot of shoes back on the shoe rack and I don't say anything about it. My choice. I do way more than 50% of household chores and I'm not saying I'm happy about it but over the years

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 15/08/2017 22:52

Is there more to your post?

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 15/08/2017 22:52

Yes?

Smeaton · 15/08/2017 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hareagain · 15/08/2017 22:55

Are you happy?

Original poster
FridasMonobrow · 15/08/2017 23:01

Whoops.

... I have decided over the years it is easier to just get on with it.

But now we have a 7 month old baby who is just sleeping through,, so lucky after months of terrible sleep, and I am protective of that sleep!

My husband keeps slamming the bathroom door, right outside the baby's room. I have asked him several times not to, at which he keeps huffing. Today he did it again (bearing in mind last night he woke the baby), so I asked him again to please use the handle so as not to wake the baby. He said 'can you please stop asking me, I only do it because I forget, you keeping asking me is really grinding my gears'.

Huh?? If he forgets, how will he remember without a reminder? Put have I overstepped the mark by repeating the same request every day?

(apologies for split I have a rubbish phone)

OP posts:
Original poster
FridasMonobrow · 15/08/2017 23:03

Ah, my typing is so slow on this phone, sorry to keep you hanging....

OP posts:
outofmydepth45 · 15/08/2017 23:05

Remove the door at the hinges and put it in the garage

321zerobaby · 15/08/2017 23:07

Write 'close the door quietly please' on a post it and stick it to the door.

outofmydepth45 · 15/08/2017 23:07

Each time he accidentally wakes the baby let him sort it out. And YABN everyone knows you don't ask a third time and you then resort to violence (joke)

NotTheDuchessOfCambridge · 15/08/2017 23:07

Pop a towel over the top of the door to stop him closing it.

Akire · 15/08/2017 23:08

Stick a towel over the top of the door. He be able to close it but not slam it. If he wakes the baby though he puts them back to sleep!

Pancakeflipper · 15/08/2017 23:08

Agree with Outofmydepth.
And hang up a curtain. Those plastic stripey fly curtains could be ideal.

Venusflytwat · 15/08/2017 23:10

Another vote for towel over the door.

peekyboo · 15/08/2017 23:10

Have you seen the child safety door slam stoppers? Sorry, can't remember the right name for them. They pop over the edge of the door so it won't close all the way.

He might forget to not slam the door but if you remember to pop on the anti-slammer every night he might start to remember when he has to peel it back off before he can close the door.

His irritation will at least match yours and with a bit of luck he might start remembering...

Original poster
FridasMonobrow · 15/08/2017 23:14

Practical solutions, thank you!

Think I was just a bit perplexed that he'd somehow managed to turn it into something to be annoyed at me about Confused

OP posts:
Sunshinegirls · 15/08/2017 23:16

This is weird behaviour from your DH.

horridhenrysdoggy · 15/08/2017 23:19

Yes I'd second the door slammer stoppers too

NotTheCoolMum · 15/08/2017 23:21

Childish defensiveness. Rather than the adult response which would be to apologise and then NOT DO IT.

Pallisers · 15/08/2017 23:21

If he wakes the baby, he gets the baby back to sleep again.

Very simple solution.

I guarantee you that he will remember to close the door gently after the first time he gets lumbered with what he clearly sees as your responsibility - rearing your baby.

Highly amused at the idea that you would take a door off its hinges and pop it in the garage rather than expect an adult to remember to close a door gently because of a sleeping baby.

Pallisers · 15/08/2017 23:23

OP, don't be in the least bothered with him if he does it again. Just say nothing and wait for him to deal with the baby. If he doesn't say "oh what a pity your closing the door woke her up - you'll need to deal with her now" and keep doing what you were doing.

Don't worry about your baby being woken up all the time. He'll remember pretty damn fast once it impacts his life and not yours.

LoneStarRising · 15/08/2017 23:23

There are lots of practical solutions, yes, but it's weird he behaves like this. Very teenagery.

RafikiIsTheBest · 15/08/2017 23:23

Practical solutions might be great, but OP shouldn't have to make sure there is a towel over the door or anti slam devices on the door so the baby's father doesn't wake the child.

Maybe try to talk to him about it during they day, rather than once he's done it. More of a preemptive conversation than a 'telling off' which no matter how gentle a reminder it will seem that way to some. Maybe suggest he (as he's the one doing it!) finds a way to remind himself. Suggest an anti slam device or permanently leaving a towel over the door or whatever else but he needs input. You're his partner not his mother.

I agree that he resettles the baby (which he bloody well should) but sometimes it's not as simple as getting a baby back to sleep that once. Broken sleep can create more broken sleep, which OP might then have to be up and down all night.

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 15/08/2017 23:24

Him being told not to wake his own baby "grinds his gears" Hmm
He sounds very inconsiderate. It's not nagging , he should be capable of not slamming a door.

MarmaladeIsMyJam · 15/08/2017 23:24

A nice A4 sign on each side of the door saying 'Stop slamming the door you fucking prick'
I'm sure he doesn't 'forget' things at work Hmm

DeadGood · 15/08/2017 23:25

Get yourself a long rubber band.
Pull the door handle down.
Put the band over the end of the handle, both sides, while the handle is down. It will hold the handle down, so the door can "close", but the lock won't engage.
Problem solved