Apparently I should stop asking

[FridasMonobrow]

I am not a nag. I pick my battles which in practical terms means I put a lot of shoes back on the shoe rack and I don't say anything about it. My choice. I do way more than 50% of household chores and I'm not saying I'm happy about it but over the years

Fridas the best advice I could give to new parents (having been through it) is "be kind and try to see the funny side". But both of you have to be on board. And it is ok to be angry too - I would have fucked my husband out of it if he reacted like yours after slamming a door and waking a baby. But long-term that isn't solution. You both have to sign on to be kind and presume the best, be supportive, have a sense of humour.

If he wakes the baby by slamming the door, surely he is the one who goes and settles her again?

SURELY you wouldn't get up to settle the baby that HE woke up by slamming a door (more than once)? I can't fathom that any wife would do that.

You're not a "nag". That's a term used to call a woman who is constantly asking for a man to do what he should be fucking doing without being asked. If you even have to ask, it's his fault, not yours.

Are there any other things he does that you have been 'trained' to accept? Is it 'easier' to do all the domestic work yourself, because he agrees to do his share, then doesn't do it, snaps at you for politley asking him to do it and then waits till you give in and do it yourself? Are you often told that asking him to do anything which is for someone else's benefit is 'nagging'? Does it make life easier to have sex, even when you don't fancy it, because otherwise he sulks and is even less likely to 'help' with domestic work?

It may be that the spat over the door is the sort of thing which occurs between two tired, shellshocked new parents. Or it may be that this man considers himself the most important person in the household and therefore his life will carry on as normal, and any criticism of his behaviour will result in punishment for you.

How exactly does he "forget" that he has a seven-month-old baby who is sleeping in the next room and that he consequently needs to be quiet? Do you forget that you have a baby? No, didn't think so.

I was going to suggest one of the foam door bouncers too. He'll not be able to slam it and the act of having to remove the bouncer will hopefully remind him to be gentle.

Also - if he wakes the baby, he gets the baby back to sleep. That should also annoy him into being more considerate.