I've just been fat shamed by a 4 year old

[Mooey89]

'Why do mummies have to have such huge massive fat tummies?'

Along with helpful cunt exMIL this morning chirpily 'I am a bit worried about how much you want another baby, are you sure you aren't too fat to conceive now?'

Luckily last week I had an epiphany and I have been back to my diet 100% this week, but I do have 4 stone to lose.

Please can you cheer me up with similar tales of child honesty???

I'm just focusing on the time aged 6 that I told DM that she smelt like wet dog... 🙈

Once took DS1 to a meeting with our bank manager (can't remember why DS2 wasn't there!) and DS1 sat down and introduced himself to the bank manager with "Hi, I'm X and I'm not her husband!"

foxglovesandsweetpeas that's hilarious! Love it. What did the ghost say?

Pastys I'm actually cackling. I love it

I have hair like Donald Trump apparently (according to my 3 year old) He likes Donald Trump though but in a way thats more worrying...

I'm currently pregnant. I admit, I've put on a bit of weight. It happens. I got out of bed one morning a week or so ago, in my nightie. And my 6 year old son said;

'mummy, your legs have gotten chubby.'

Cheers mate.

All from DD when she was about 2/3:

1. While I was putting foundation on:

DD: Are you putting that on to cover your spots? Me: Er..yes. (30 seconds later) DD: I can still see them!

1. Out of nowhere:

"Don't worry Mummy we'll get you new boobies for Christmas!"

1. Ikea toilets - it was very busy and there was a massive queue waiting.

DD: (Very loud voice) "Mummy why have you got brown fur on your bum?"

DD said to me "Mummy you're not fat. Just quite... 3D!" I thought it was adorable and clever for a 7 year old. 😁

Ds has told me regularly that I'm not to lose weight as he likes me with a wobbly tummy. It's a bit of a joke between us now though, and he does know not to say it to anyone else.

But the funniest was dd2 aged about 3 or 4yo. I was about 30yo at the time.
Dd2: You know, mummy as you get older you get less pretty?
Me: Do you? Why do you think that?
Dd2: Well

Oh, also I used to tell our son that if he ate his dinner it would help him grow big. All fine, until one day we were eating tea when he started getting upset " saying don't eat any more food mummy, you'll get to it and won't fit in the house"

DS1 was an incredibly camp child (which we found hilarious) but the standout was when we redecorated his bedroom and asked what he thought. He walked round the room, set eyes on the curtains and said "Oh my GOD. Those are the worst curtains I've seen in my ENTIRE LIFE!" (he was about 6 at the time) and threw himself to the floor!

If you imagine him saying it in the voice of a 60 year old gay man, you'll get why it was so funny to us!

My 4 year old niece saying to her nan "ooh your a fatty aren't you"
My 3/4 year old son asking his nan why she had spiders up her nose

When DD2 was just about 8 weeks old, I had taken her for her first vaccinations and stopped at reception on the way out of the doctors surgery to make the appointment for the next round.

That was when three year old DD1 piped up at the top of her voice "MUUUM, do we have to bring my little sister back again for some more erections?"

It was announced to a full waiting room, and just about everyone was laughing.

It was a long time ago now. DD1 is 22 now and DD2 is 19.

When my daughter was 3 and we were waiting to be seen by the Dr in the very busy surgery waiting room. She gets up from her chair and goes and stands about 2ft away from a gentleman and points right at his face. 'Mummy? What it that enormous thing on that mans face?'. It was a mole. I wanted the ground to open up but we just had a conversation with the gentleman instead.

Same daughter, age 4, to the tesco checkout man. 'I've got a vagina. You have a penis.'

Age 5, to her teacher 'I've been very kind to my Mummy this morning because she is sad. She's got her period'.

Now age 6, bursts into my bedroom while I am very pregnant and naked. 'Wow, Mum, your belly is quite huge and saggy!'.

sigh

Three year old says "mum you have a great big bum!". Yes, I do, darling, thanks for pointing it out!

My cousins son asked when I was having a baby. I was struggling to conceive so asked him why he was asking. He said because I had a big tummy. I explained that it was from eating too many sweets. He proudly told me he would have a big tummy too soon

is that a real ghost? 😂

In a loud voice " Mummy look at that next till, the lady is so fat and won't be able to go past "

My sister (then aged about 6/7) to my best friend's mum: 'Are you ever going to have your baby?'

We'd known her for about three years by then; she'd been heavily 'pregnant' the entire time.

DD wanders into bathroom while I am dealing with period-related stuff.

DD: is that poo in your pants?
Me: no. It's way too early in the morning to explain this to you a tiny bit of bleeding. It happens to grown-ups sometimes.
DD: you're being very brave mummy...

Followed by a kiss on my bare butt cheek to make it better! Adorable. But one day I must explain not to kiss bottoms. There's a sentence I never thought I'd write.

One of her favourite things if I'm lying down is to flatten both palms on my tummy and jiggle like mad, cackling "wobble wobble wobble"

Had a very wealthy friend who collected expensive modern art. My son, then 5 said : "I didn't think XXX have any children"
Me : "They don't"
Son: "Then why do they have children's drawings on their wall?"

I have a bingly bottom apparently. I believe they mean, erm, not v toned or pert.

DD was about 20 months, I was quite pregnant and had a meeting with the very-uncomfortable-around-small-kids bank manager. DD was mooching around the room. DD lands up to me, stands stock-still, with a red face and that intent, serious, concentrating-on-business look we all know... 'I'M DOING A POO'. Poor sensitive bank manager didn't know where to look. (I was too tired to give a rat's ass and yes I know, I was well slow with the toilet training)

Foxgloves and Evildoctor I'm absolutely crying with laughter.
This one is slightly different and I hope doesn't offend anyone.
DS2 age 4 coming out of IKea with OH ( keeping in mind we'd only been together about 9 months at this time) pointed to a woman in full, Muslim dress, including full veil and asked really loudly
DS : ' is that lady a real ninja or just dressed up as one?'
Mortified OH :' Shh now we mustn't comment on other people's choices. The lady chooses to wear these clothes because of her religion, sweetheart'
DS: 'What's religion?'
OH: 'Let's wait for mummy to be finished at the til, eh?'.
My Muslim friend found it hysterical when i told her and said she would consider full dress if it made her a ninja!

Ds1 age 4
"Mummy, why have you got massive nipples and mine are small?"

Or in the cubical of my gym toilet "mummy where is your willy?"

Just for the record my nipples are quite small and I've never had a willy

Children are savage 😂

My nephew told me I was very pretty but my teeth were not nice. He was 10. I love him so much I let it slide.