I've just been fat shamed by a 4 year old

[Mooey89]

'Why do mummies have to have such huge massive fat tummies?'

Along with helpful cunt exMIL this morning chirpily 'I am a bit worried about how much you want another baby, are you sure you aren't too fat to conceive now?'

Luckily last week I had an epiphany and I have been back to my diet 100% this week, but I do have 4 stone to lose.

Please can you cheer me up with similar tales of child honesty???

I'm just focusing on the time aged 6 that I told DM that she smelt like wet dog... 🙈

I was in the supermarket. My middle son was about 4. I was choosing something off a shelf and a lady next to us was doing the same. My son sitting in the trolley said "mum...why is that lady so fat?" I didn't know what to say so while I tried to think of a reply he said in a loud voice "mum, I asked you why that lady is so fat" I was really gobsmacked 😶

My son is forever references my MASSIVE SQUASHY BOOBS...... i'm a 34D.... hardly bloody Jordan

All from my youngest. When about 3 "why don't men wear bras?" I told her because they don't have boobs. "Daddy does" 😂
Then I asked her if she liked my new outfit "it depends will you be wearing it anywhere you take me".
"Mummy I wish my hair could be two colours like yours"

4yr old dd asked me why my arms were so soft and like jello 😯

My niece aged 4 or 5 had been collected from school by my sister (her aunt). My sister was about 16 at the time and collecting her on behalf of our DM, who was babysitting that day. As they neared home, my sister spotted an elderly man who lived locally walking towards them. This man had something wrong with his neck and his head was always tilted to one side, almost resting on his shoulder.
On seeing him, my sister panicked, imagining all the embarrassing things our niece might say. But the man got closer and closer and finally passed by without a murmur from the little girl. My sister breathed a sigh of relief, disaster averted- then glanced down at our niece, who was now walking along with her head tilted to one side...

Dd's best friend: does your mummy have a baby in her tummy?
Dd: no, she's too old.

Old and fat and all before 9am. Not a good start to my day.

I am crying laughing at these, blimmin brilliant.

I think I've been the person in the next door cubicle before. Many years ago at the local pool, as a teenager, I was getting changed when some young boy in the cubicle next door exclaimed 'Mummy! You've got a really hairy fairy.' Followed by a lot of shushing. She must have heard me laughing. I've used that phrase ever since.

Karma has since been repaid 10 fold. Every trip to the pool I get asked where my willly is by my DS (4) We had a full conversation in the changing rooms last week about transgender/transsexual as he quite rightly stated some girls do have willies.

On Monday he asked his grandma (my mum) where she got her boobies from as mummy doesn't have any and could she get me some. Bloody men and boobs.

"When is daddy going to fuck off" made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe

We were in Starbucks once and ds1 aged about 3 said is he my daddy? About some random in the queue, poor guy he was so embarrassed-his girlfriend looked suspicious lol! no darling he's not your daddy!
Then recently aged 5 "mummy your legs are so fat" - thanks son
Daddy "your teeth are yellow just like the highway rat"
They just keep coming...,,

Nopressure

That's the best one yet 😂😂😂

My son is only 2 and he says out loud "what's that smell" often.. which is rather embarrassing in public lol. The last few months he keeps coming up to me and touches my boobs and shouts mummy has eggies 🙈 Children say it as they see it and it's brutal. Not sure why he says I've got eggs though x

I was in the loos at Tesco some years ago with my 3 year old, there was quite a queue of people, my dd went to the loo and I followed, just as I wiped my 'd'd said in her usual loud voice 'mummy, why do you have a hairy bottom' much to the amusement and sniggers of the women in the queue and next door cubicles 🤣🤣🤣🤣 just to clear up, I don't have a hairy bottom, she meant my fanjo 😵 Which I'd not 'scaped for a while

From my 5 year old ds why did God give you such a huge bottom? I know I have a bit of weight to lose but it's not that big.

Back in the 1970s when I was about 3 I very proudly went into our local shop to buy myself some sweeties (with my neurotic mother hovering outside) and Arthur our neighbour offered to buy them for me... i politely declined stating "mummy says l must not take sweets from stranger's" he then said " but xxxxx you DO know me" .....?" Yes, I know I know you and I still think you're strange!!!!"
The shop woman apprently couldn't wait to tell my mum..... apperntly he was pretty strange....

For pudding one night we had fresh fruit & cream. As my mother (65, not exactly decrepit) politely declined the cream, my 5 year old asked wonderingly, "are old ladies not allowed to have cream?"

There was a gentleman in Morrisons in a wheelchair approaching me and DS (5). He was extremely large and rather elderly and unkempt. 'Mummy! That man...!' pipes up DS. I'm towing him along, 7 months pregnant.

Uh-oh - I know what's coming since he 'observed' increasingly loudly last week that the butcher in Tesco was 'fat'. The gentleman can quite obviously hear us. 'Shhh!' 'But MUMMY, that man...!' 'Ooh would you like a pineapple DS?' 'MUMMY LISTEN! THAT MAN LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU!'

Same DS but last week 'You're special cos you're a mummy but there's nothing else special about you.'

I can remember telling my mum that her tummy was all lovely and soft like bread dough. She was always baking so it was a simple comparison to make. And I did genuinely mean it as a compliment...

DS: I love your tummy, mummy.
Me: Ah, that's lovely. Why's that?
DS: it's bouncy like the trampoline.
😳

I have started wearing dresses again for the first time in a long time. Walked down stairs wearing a maxi and thinking I looked the bees knees. DD1 (aged 5) came running over saying 'Oh Mummy you look aaawwww-ful!' Am pretty sure she didn't meant it but i marched straight back upstairs and put my jeans on

When DSs were 6 and 4 respectively they were watching some programme ( Blue Peter maybe?) about special talents. They then started to talk about people they knew with special talents, eventually getting to daddy:
DS1: Daddy can fix anything and is so funny.
DS2: Daddy is always playing with us and teaching us all the things he knows.
DS1: Daddy is really great at science and maths, he's super clever.
DS2: Daddy climbs mountains and scores goals and beats everyone else at golf.
DS1: Daddy makes such yummy food.
DS2: And we all cook it together, and make bread.
DS1: Daddy saves lives at the hospital ( radiographer so not exactly!).
DS2: Yes, daddy is really very special and talented.
DS1: And mummy's very good at cleaning.
DS2: And cuddles.
WTAF?! No mention of the degrees, the profession, the constant entertaining/ cooking/ educational play etc, etc, etc!
And it was my ex DH they were referring to so it made me soooooo angry!

Thank you everyone for the best laugh I have had in ages. Definitely one for classics 😂

My two year old DD and I was in Tesco and she saw a man with green spikes on his head for his hair and she said Dinosaurrrr in her George voice I absolutely died inside I couldn't hold in the laughter!!!!!! (Lucky he didn't hear her)

I used to work in a newsagents and this mum came in with her young DS to buy some painkillers, her little one piped up with "you don't need anymore tablets mummy, you've got plenty at home that stop you from having babies" she was mortified, I was dying from laughter 😀😀😀

I came out of a changing room once and heard a little one say to her Mum whilst pointing at me 'Mummy, that lady looks really angry'. I was feeling okay and was in a great mood - made me assess the reality of my resting bitch face.....😁