Teenager in bedroom...

[GaynorGoodwin]

My daughter who is 17 and on a break from college is spending far too much time in her bedroom. She's got friends but rarely goes out instead spends her time on her phone, skyping, etc., and it's getting me down. I was actually tearing up earlier after getting back in from doing a bit of shopping to see she was still up there. Quite often she takes her lunch up there...

I've suggested we go out, do a bit of shopping, walk the dog, etc, and am blankly refused before she turns and goes back up. I'm fed up and don't know what to do.

I'm feeling rather sensitive, but advice is welcome, thanks

Absolutely agree that as long as she is not miserable and all is ok with her friendships/education/personal life

Id say no to the food up there (I have known my mum to be missing loads of plates etc then find them with penicillin forming on them a month later!) but she sounds normal.

At least you know where she is and isn't out getting off her face and socialising with people who are up to no good.

I have a nephew who is nearly 17 and my SIL says hes up in 'the flat'

Sorry, you were tearing up?

You sound like an emotionally draining nut job, OP. I'd avoid you too.

Op you are getting some really unpleasant comments on this thread - there's nothing wrong with being upset that you and your dd don't spend as much time together anymore, feeling like that is a completely normal part of the process too!

Ask her to walk the dog daily. And also cook a couple of meals a week. Do you have any shared interests?what does she enjoy?

DS is 16 , yesterday he did a few chores though he complained and I dropped him and his friend off to play football and he was out for a few hours, we had dinner together then he watched Game of Thrones with his Dad which I hate so I sat elsewhere. The day before he was on his pc all day and basically didn't leave the room.

They do want their own space and these days due to online stuff there is entertainment aplenty.

I do get how you feel though I prefer the days he is around more. The transition to adulthood is difficult for them and us.

I'm really surprised at the nasty comments you are getting on here OP. If some parents feel happy for their children to never speak to them or spend time with them then bully for them, but some of us would actually like to stay in touch with our kids, grunty teens or not.

I will never allow my children to eat in their bedrooms, if they want food they can have it in the kitchen. They don't have to have a massive conversation with me, but they have to be present. My house my rules.
Similarly if you live in a household you don't get to act completely selfishly at all times. There are meals to be cooked and chores to be done. Teenagers have to lend a hand, why should they get to stay in their room all day while DH and I wait on them hand and foot?

My eldest is 15 and he likes being on his own, but he knows that he has to join in family time at least a couple of times a day, even if it's just mealtimes and dog walks.

Butterflying - your comment was particularly nasty, calling the OP a nut job. Are you that rude in RL too?

My 17/nearly 18yo wanders out of his room, prattles on about Donald Trump/ Game of Thrones/ the State of The Economy/The Walking Dead / what's for dinner...........
then pats my arm and says "Right I;ve spend 5 minutes talking to you, that's your lot" before he wanders off again

'Tis normal teen behaviour