that a friend who professes to have life 'sussed' annoys the shit out of me?

[Nemo1986]

Her facebook looks like this:

'The meaning of life is to find your gift, the purpose of life is to give it away'

'You are so much more valuable and wonderful than you could ever imagine! Love yourself x'

'I have thrown away my television because I don't need it in my life anymore'

And close-up photographs of dandelions, etc.

We are old friends of 10+ years but this started about 6 months ago when she moved out of the city to the countryside, quit her job and started retraining as a holistic therapist. Last time we met up was constantly talking about how the mind 'really' works and what the body 'really' needs and what people 'really' want in their lives and what is 'really' going on in the world and while I am very happy that SHE has done some soul-searching and found what works for her, the smugness is driving me up. the. bloody. wall!!!

I know I just sound like a case of sour grapes, but truly it's not! I am very happy with my own circumstances and life choices but she is STILL driving me NUTS!! How can I stop myself from getting riled?!

and

...

AIBU?!

I have a fb friend who posts quotes like this, but to make it even more cringey she signs her name after them abd then "please feel free to share"

No I get it Nemo1986, maybe the reason you can't be happy for her is that you know that her lifestyle is not brought about merely by a mindset. Did you say she inherited 250k from her grandparents?! Wow, that would improve anybody's life, no matter how conventionally they measured success. So in other words, her newfound philosophy is not a philosophy, it's just ''I could afford to move to the country''.

"Hey, did yall hear me, I could afford to move to the country."

I am thinking a lot about what will bring me happiness, what things I do on autopilot, what makes me anxious. I'm trying to change the structure of my life a little but I'd be terrified to share any of my private mindset shifts on fb because I think of myself as developmentally delayed

I keep reading how the thoughts I'm having are normal in women of about forty and I'm cruising towards fifty so I'd be mortified sharing my late to the table wisdom on facebook!

OMG thanks for that toomuchtooold spiritual bypassing makes so much sense! And the passive aggressive undertones are there...

Interesting link there.

Don't know about the UK, but I think that Buddhism has found a place in Ireland recently because in the olden days when Catholicism had us in its grasp, it was ok to be poor. It was not, whatever else was, shameful. Now, being poor is so shameful. We're measuring ourselves by a more capitalist and Lutheran measure. Enter stage left, a la carte Buddhism comforting us once again that it's not shameful to be poor. We needed you a la carte Buddhism. Some of it is interesting and if it comforts people without condemning them, great.

Mesgegra no she hasn't inherited a lot of money, but she is living with her partner who is very well off and they can manage quite nicely without needing her income. They moved out of London also so they made a mint on the house.
Haha you don't sound delayed you sound more self-aware than 90% of facebook users!!

Just post 'hope you're ok Hun x' and 'hang in there' on every post

That made me laugh. And I think it's funny because it speaks to the truith that we all know that people who post this shit are generally not that happy in themselves. Maybe she's moved to the country and found that her troubles have followed her, and doesn't want to admit it, even to herself?

'I have thrown away my television because I don't need it in my life anymore'

She doesn't seem to have binned her smartphone or broadband connection though.

I see stuff like this on my FB feed from people that have moved abroad or to somewhere remote, and sometimes suspect that they're trying to convince themselves that their lives are amazing.

Ah she lives with her parents?! Oh the poor thing!

I went to a 20 year school reunion when I was living with my parents and the whole evening was an excruciating exercise in holding my head up high! My neck was aching! for years afterwards!

For the pseudo-enlightened, getting rid of social media accounts comes above getting rid of your TV. Perhaps you should inform her of that!

Oh sorry, I misread that! Her partner. Not her parents.

Well instantly I think, how wise is it to relocate with a partner, not even a husband. I know each to their own and so on, but I would imagine she's feeling self conscious about what she fears others are thinking and she's attempting (always fruitless) to control how others perceive her life.

I just let others pity me when I was in a shit situation!

Love the Buddhism thought, so interesting, and it makes perfect sense.

Yeah, I do wonder if she's going through troubled times, but then how would I know? It's all happy happy happy all the time! I can't tell if she's being honest or not.
Personally, nothing makes me feel happier than a good moan with a friend! But hey ho.

One of the legends at my workplace is the time when the IT lads replaced HR head's motivational posters with quotes from the Top Gear team. So it went from JFK on leadership to Richard Hammond: "You can stick a BMW badge on a dead cat - and people would still buy it."

Amuse yourself by replacing one word of her motivational quote :-)

Be nice. I have a friend who posts inspirational quote bollocks all the time. She's going through a loooong divorce and possible mid life crisis.
Remember that dandelions are weeds. Her life probably isn't all roses.

I'm internet dating (well, not right this minute) but if I hear another man use Buddhism to justify non-attachment I'm going to turn tear the badge of his BMW and stick a terracotta bowl in its place. Take the car's wheels and put sandals there.

It's because she's a holistic therapist. Her FB page is her shopfront. One of my friends is a reiki practitioner and her whole FB page is pictures of Hindu goddesses and other people gushing about what a beautiful light she is.

She even wrote a self-published e-book about having a spiritually-enhancing marriage - strangely it didn't include her own preferred method of having an open marriage and living in different continents to your DH because neither of you can get visas.

Sashkin, it all sounds very self-indulgent which is fine, it's her life after all but does she actually make any money out of it?
do enough people pay for this shit that you could actually make a living?

She's clearly not a gardener or she'd know what an absolute pain in the arse dandelions are.

Mesegra I was vaguely interested in Buddhism until I saw a TV programme about it . One of their main tenets is not only to be unattached to material things (which is almost understandable) but also people (including parents,children etc. ) that was enough to put me right off.

They are also mysogynistic.

Don't believe it op. It'll be a front and if it's not then she's likely to hit the wall later in life.

Unfollow and let her got on with it. I find it all a bit self righteous and irritating. Nobody is immune to anything. People hurt and struggle. Somethings are good some aren't.

One of their main tenets is not only to be unattached to material things (which is almost understandable) but also people (including parents,children etc. ) that was enough to put me right off

I don't know what programme you watched, but it sounds pretty misinformed. Or maybe there was just an issue of semantics re: attachment vs. love/relationships. Buddhism does not discourage the latter. It would be pretty hard for the millions of people who practice buddhism to do so if they weren't allowed to love and maintain relationships with their parents/kids/partners/etc. after all.

No telly!!! She must be fucking bonkers. Ring for help.

It must be all that country air. She probably wafts around barefoot listening to Enya too.

Loved the suggestion to keep replying with 'hang in there'.

OP, you need to start posting quotes from this Instagram account on to your Facebook page to even things out a little:
www.instagram.com/unspirational/

My personal favourite is, "Each new day is an opportunity to fuck it all up again."

I don't get the non-attachment idea. We're hardwired to connect. And forming attachment is integral to our survival. So the Buddhist theory of non-attachment is too difficult. Why even try !?

Exactly Mesegra I have read it somewhere else too.