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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is BU, me or dp?

77 replies

Ownerofalittlechimp · 14/08/2017 18:20

Very boring so apologies in advance.

Dp drinks only coffee at home, about 6 cups a day, very strong so easily goes through a jar a week sometimes more. He also only likes nice coffee so won't have own brand, Nescafé etc has to be one of the expensive ones.

As we don't have a huge food budget (family of 4, inc formula & nappies) I try to get one he likes when they are on offer (usually buy a few to stock up). I've tried various brands in the past & if he doesn't like something I've got I take it to work & get something else.

Recently found a very nice top end supermarket one, bought some to try & dp liked it. Same one happens to have been on offer a few times so he's been drinking it for 6 weeks or so quite happily with no complaints. I always decant from jars to coffee tin so he normally doesn't see the jar it's come from. Hadn't filled yet today so when he made a coffee he grabbed a jar from the cupboard & has now had a hissy fit on seeing it's an own brand. I pointed out it's the one he's been drinking for weeks without comment but now he's seen the jar it's "shit" & he only has one luxury (not true) so why am I buying him shit coffee.

He thinks I'm buying the cheapest available (again not true) & doing home out of his "only luxury".

I've pointed out that buying only the named stuff (particularly if not on offer as is often the case) would take up a significant chunk of the budget (& I'd have to cut back elsewhere) but this doesn't make a difference apparently as I'm just being unreasonable.

My view is that I make the effort to find coffee he likes (I'd never make him drink something he didn't like the taste of to save money) & that I can fit into the budget. I also think he's more focused on the name & is now only deciding he doesn't like it because he's seen the jar. If I'd decanted it into a branded jar he wouldn't have noticed.

I know it's silly & petty but I need an outside perspective. Dp is now in a mood with me, barely speaking to me & has just left without saying a word to me.

So who is bu?

OP posts:
OstentatiousWanking · 14/08/2017 18:23

He is. Massively. Tell him to sort his own coffee out from now on.

RelaxMax · 14/08/2017 18:24

He's BU. Sounds like a spoilt teenager tbh.

PodgeBod · 14/08/2017 18:24

He's bu and having a senseless hissy fit

Snausage · 14/08/2017 18:27

The coffee all of a sudden has gone from being enjoyable to being shit, because he'd seen the jar it comes in?

He sounds like a cockwomble. I'd tell him to buy his own damn coffee from now on.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 14/08/2017 18:28

He is being a complete twat over this. He has been drinking that coffee for weeks. Have you actually gone over the food budget with him as him why he should get X% of the budget spent on coffee when he can't tell the difference between own brand and branded.

I bet the same company makes the coffee for both.

scurryfunge · 14/08/2017 18:28

Sounds like you have another child in the house.

luckylucky24 · 14/08/2017 18:29

He is BU. I don't see the problem if he likes it? I got DH a coffee subscription for his birthday. He loved it and renewed the subscription when it ended. He gets one a month (can get more frequent) but we don't include it as part of the food shop. It is considered a luxury and may be worth a go for his next birthday or xmas.

Crowdo · 14/08/2017 18:31

Let him have the coffee he likes.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 14/08/2017 18:32

He should get his own coffee out of his own money and stop behaving like a puberty stricken self centred mardy arsed teenager.

Finallyatlast · 14/08/2017 18:32

Just give him council pop from now on spoilt brat!

timeisnotaline · 14/08/2017 18:33

How does budget work? If separate he can just buy his own coffee from now on if it's s luxury (unless you regularly get the fancy cakes that you like I guess). And if it's not, feed him beans on toast when you next buy coffee.... Grin seriously, he has to be part of making it work out budget wise.

AlternativeTentacle · 14/08/2017 18:34

He has been found out and he needs to wake up and smell the coffee!

Mumof56 · 14/08/2017 18:34

He liked it until he saw the jar?

He is BU.

FoxyRoxy · 14/08/2017 18:34

Why are his luxuries coming out of the weekly food budget? Could you get him a Dolce gusto or similar machine and he gets the pods for it separately? He's being massively U to hissy fit at you over instant coffee.

Oysterbabe · 14/08/2017 18:36

Decant the cheap coffee into an expensive jar from now on.
He's not really a coffee fan if he drinks instant anyway

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 14/08/2017 18:36

He is obviously being an utter twat.

GreenTulips · 14/08/2017 18:37

Wow!! DH also likes nice coffee and I only buy it when discounted.

He annoyed the builder also likes his coffee!!!

Tell him to buy his own and don't make it, he's being childish

Jessiecat27 · 14/08/2017 18:39

He needs to get a grip. Yes me and oh like the fancy coffee but nearly every time I buy asda value, you get used to it after a while and I'd much rather put that money to something else!

RandomMess · 14/08/2017 18:39

Yep selfish and entitled, he liked it until he saw the jar!!!

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 14/08/2017 18:41

Tell him to bloody buy his own then, if it is HIS luxury. Or brutally cut back on something else he enjoys/gets main use out of on your household shop. He's being massively U !

mumeeee · 14/08/2017 18:41

He is BU. As he has been drinking it for weeks then it is obviously to his liking
What would he do if you put some expensive stuff into an own brand jar?

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall · 14/08/2017 18:43

Refuse to buy him coffee anymore.

He is being worse than a spoilt child with an unreasonable sense of fussiness.

He's been drinking it for weeks, therefore likes it, continue as you are.

OR buy a few of the coffee he DOES drink (or ask friends for their jars) and decant the coffee he HAS been drinking into the branded ones and fool him into thinking the coffee you have stashed away IS in fact the brands he likes, when in fact you've just decanted the brand he is currently drinking into the labelled jars - if you catch my drift!

GaryBarlowsTaxReturn · 14/08/2017 18:43

He's not speaking to you over this? What a massive overreaction. Tell him to buy his own coffee. Stop bending over backwards.

Oilybeans · 14/08/2017 18:44

He is.

All instant coffee is nasty.

Switch to filter.

HellonHeels · 14/08/2017 18:44

Perhaps he could do the shopping from now on?

He's being a twat. Probably embarrassed that his sensitive palate wasn't refined enough to detect "shit" coffee...

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