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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Extremely scary moment when driver blocked my car on a country lane.

449 replies

ginplease8383 · 14/08/2017 17:07

I was out driving on the Blackdown hills today with my 1 year old and 3 year old DD trying to find Wellington monument. I know its pretty easy to find being pretty large but I am a bit of an idiot with driving and thought i knew the way (being relatively local) and it turned out I didn't.

Anyway, I went into a country lane and did a U turn to correct myself as I didn't want to U turn on one of the larger roads and as I was coming out onto the more main road another car (a 4X4 with 2 men in it aged mid 50s) also was doing a u turn (or so i thought initially). The driver blocked my exit out of the junction (They could see me drive up to it) as I attempted to turn left and I assumed he was stopping to turn into my lane so I attempted to veer left and drive around him and he blocked me again. I did it again and he did it again.

I didn't want to stop and wind down my window it being the middle of the countryside and that I had 2 young children in the back but he trapped me. In the end i had to and he wound down his window and he said 'I was just going to ask you how to get to xx', I was upset and panicking by then and screamed at him 'How dare you block my path!! Get out of the way!'. My heart was racing and I called dh straight away and gave him a description of the car just in case and set off hime (I didn't go to Wellington monument in the end).

AIBU? I can kind of understand if there was an accident and they needed a first aider but surely i made it perfectly clear i didnt want to stop- I was shitting myself to be honest.

OP posts:

HurryUpAndWait · 15/08/2017 07:46

Asked them where they were going and either helped or not depending on my knowledge.

Gabilan · 15/08/2017 07:49

Pickleme one of the things that was drummed into us in First Aid training was to be suspicious in situations like that. Whilst it's more likely to be someone in genuine need, you really cannot afford to rule out the possibility that it's someone trying to lure you in and you need to look after yourself first.

Ditto in the OP's situation although frankly I think she read that correctly. At best these two were trying to frighten her - and if that's what they're doing now, they may well escalate into outright attacks.

If you get lost in an area like the Blackdowns and have no access to an electronic or paper map, just head downhill, back to a main road with signposts. It's not rocket science and doesn't involve trying to stop somebody else.

Papafran · 15/08/2017 07:51

Asked them where they were going and either helped or not depending on my knowledge

Riiight. Good for you. That may or may not have ended well for you. Normal people looking for directions generally do not try to repeatedly block people's cars by the way. They would wind down their window and signal. It was at a junction, so the OP would have been slowing down anyway, so absolutely no reason to block her car. And to do it to another lone woman in the same area on the same day...
Anyone with an ounce of common sense would get the fuck out of there ASAP.

WindyWednesday · 15/08/2017 08:00

Incase anyone hadn't read the OP properly. She loudly bellowed, or " screamed out" " get out of my way, how dare you block my path"

To me that doesn't sound like a pathetic thing to do, it is an enraged mother protecting her sleeping babies and herself. Which is why she was able to tell the tale rather than a worse outcome.

NotMeNoNo · 15/08/2017 08:02

I don't normally go in for the "lone female" thing, that describes much of my life! But since being flagged down at a junction by creepy time wasters trying to get in the car, I check the lock door button on any car I drive and often lock them at night if driving alone. Also that is why you should always reverse park so you can pull out forwards and get away if you need to.
The OP was understandably frightened and pressurised which is why she shouted, a man would most likely have done the same with some swearing. But not been called hysterical.
OP thanks for posting as it's raised awareness of what the (probably) criminals were up to.

pilates · 15/08/2017 08:05

FFS YANBU, ignore the idiots saying otherwise

BigChocFrenzy · 15/08/2017 08:11

The posters who describe the OP as "hysterical"

for screaming at 2 men who deliberately block her in 3 times, then claim they just want directions -

would be the first to blame her if she had stopped to help and her car was jacked, or she was raped.

Over the last year or so, I've noticed a major influx of posters who excuse any type of male behaviour and blame the woman.

DarkerWeb · 15/08/2017 08:13

What is "male behaviour" BigChocFrenzy?

Elendon · 15/08/2017 08:14

You did exactly the right thing OP and for those who call you hysterical - well there are no words.

I hope you feel better this morning. You were right to report it and I hope these men are caught and warned. They were totally outrageous in the way they behaved towards you.

BigChocFrenzy · 15/08/2017 08:22

male behaviour = anything that men do.

So some posters will excuse anything that men do and criticism any precautions that women take against being hurt.

DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus · 15/08/2017 08:23

Darker, if you read the op then the males behaviour is explained.

This thread is full of apologists, same as the thread about the woman who was pushed under the bus.

I urge those apologists to have a serious think about their motives, particularly if they have daughters.

5rivers7hills · 15/08/2017 08:24

I'd have been scared, it is strange and aggressive behaviour.

You don't block a car if you want directions.

When you're scared you sometimes 'over react' e.g. By shouting but I think the aoP was on the right here

Nasty experience.

5rivers7hills · 15/08/2017 08:25

Considering most people on here won't even open their bloody front door I can't believe people think this was ok and a totally safe situation. People's risk assessment is whack.

DarkerWeb · 15/08/2017 08:25

Gotcha.

You must really get your knickers in a twist when a woman does something bad male.

Guess that that's explained as internalised misogyny!

Would screaming in a stranger's face be classed as aggressive male behaviour or a precaution a woman's taking against being hurt or is it simply an blanket 'women do no wrong but men are bad' type logic?

Bemusedandpuzzled · 15/08/2017 08:26

FFS, some of you are such wusses. The levels of irrational fear over the smallest amount of contact with other people on here are off the chart. The ground level assumption many posters seem to have is that any stranger, particularly any male, is out to get them. You've been reading far too many tabloid newspapers and cheap womens magazines.

BigChocFrenzy · 15/08/2017 08:28

Example for darkerweb:

Bright sunny day, a middle-aged man knocks on the door asking for a drink of water, because he feels faint in the heat.

Do you think a woman would be "hysterical" to refuse this poor thirsty man, who might be quite ill ?

This happened to the wife of a former colleague.
She was nervous, but felt silly and too embarrassed to refuse, so she fetched him a glass of water to the door.
She certainly didn't intend to let him in the house, but he grabbed her arm, forced his way in the house and raped her repeatedly.
She ended up in hospital.

Elendon · 15/08/2017 08:31

Why don't you RTFT Bemused The police have already had reports about similar incidents happening.

If you feel threatened you react. It has nothing whatsoever to do with reading 'cheap womens magazines' How derogatory can you get?

Buttercunt · 15/08/2017 08:31

I'm not sure it's goady fuckers that we've had an influx of, more a lack of intelligence?

It's as though MN average IQ is in inverse proportion to the number of users as it grows. I don't think this is one where they have the ability to learn.

It seems as though natural selection hasn't taken its course.

Bemusedandpuzzled · 15/08/2017 08:32

The police have already had reports of similar incidents where a man asks a woman for directions and gets screamed at hysterically?

I mean to be derogatory. I think the lack of basic courtesy and courage is pathetic.

BigChocFrenzy · 15/08/2017 08:33

If 2 women in a car block a lone man 3 times, especially if he has 2 small children in the back, then yes he is entitled to yell at them to get out of the way.
I'd suspect they'd have a male accomplice hidden, to provide more muscle and that it would be more likely they want the car.

If you bothered to read, the police said a similar car had tried this with another woman driver.
Sounds like those particular men are after something, either a woman or a car

Bemusedandpuzzled · 15/08/2017 08:35

There were probably a set of gypsies hiding in the bushes, weren't there bigchoc? And maybe that man in the woods who deliberately dresses like a clown would have made an appearance the moment she got out of the car as well.

DarkerWeb · 15/08/2017 08:35

Yes, it would be hysterical or irrational because the number of interactions us women have with evil incarnate men without it becoming a home invasion and violent rape means we can't live our lives expecting it to happen.

I've been professionally involved with several cases of infanticide by mothers. I don't view mothers with suspicion and expect them to be screamed at by people protecting their children.

It comes down to acting rationally or irrationally, not using inappropriate generalisation to think your behaviour was 'normal'.

BigChocFrenzy · 15/08/2017 08:36

I wonder what the official police advice would be to a woman, if she is blocked 3 times by men in a car, who then ask her for directions

Would they advise her to help the men and not be "hysterical" ?
Or scream and get away

DamnDeDoubtanceIsSpartacus · 15/08/2017 08:36

The thread is full of similar incidents where women were threatened and hurt. The police have received similar reports and taken op seriously.

Some apologist posters still think it's appropriate to blame the op instead of reading the thread, listening to women's experiences, and learning.

Elendon · 15/08/2017 08:38

The police have already had reports of similar incidents where a man asks a woman for directions and gets screamed at hysterically?

That's NOT what happened though. And you know that. Are you meaning to be quite so dim?

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