In many ways I like my mil. This is not meant to be a bashing thread.
However, my mil can be somewhat overbearing. It's noted by many but her positive traits outweigh this, none of us are perfect etc, dd loves her and her husband lots.
recently she has got into changing my daughters clothes (aged 4) every time she goes to her house. I'd completely get this if daughter had dirtied her clothes (although she does get packed spares) or if she was worried about permanently staining her clothes because they were special etc.
However, dd is sent in practical clothes and with spares in case she needs.
I understand that if mil has picked up a special outfit she would love to see dd in, but this is every.time.
Dd has got to the age now where she likes to pick aspects of her outfits and I allow this as long as it's appropriate. She's starting to make her own identity and express it.
Mil has as stated been very overbearing in the past, mainly with DH who as a child was controlled in such ways and it did continue into adult life, he now has a bit of a rocky relationship with his mum due to her controlling traits. (I'm talking more than telling him what to wear. Although that was pushed into his mid twenties)
Would I be unreasonable to just point out she really needn't change her clothes and that dd likes to choose parts of her outfit? I really do feel like she's been treated like a dolly and she's well past the baby age where she doesn't care.
I'm aware that on the grand scheme of things this is trivial, however the element of control mil likes to have over everyone is now bothering me as i feel it'll be affecting dd.
For what it's worth if someone was to do this to DH when he was a child my mil would've been very cross, she takes pride in her appearance and this was applied to my husband when little too, it would most certainly be seen as an insult.
Maybe she really hates my choice of clothing for dd? Do all grandmothers do this? Maybe one day I'll understand, but for now I'm confused to say the least.