To think of payback for my fat lip?

[JonSnowsWhore]

I've just got out of bed to open the window, this absolute doughnut that I share a bed with has, in the space of a few seconds, managed to roll on to my side of the bed, and get his knee really high up the bed. So when I've got back in bed I smashed my face off of his knee! Lip & teeth bleeding, pain, swearing. This is of course his fault for daring to venture onto my side of the bed in the dark so what shall we have him doing for me tomorrow to make up for it

LTB.

Smother with pillow, bury under patio. Live happily ever after 👹

I nearly did, for a split second I honestly thought he'd punched me & I didn't have a clue why he would do that to me 😂

Move everything his side of the bed half an inch to the left and he'll keep tripping up it/kicking it

You got darked on

Wake him up and at least ruin his sleep! The gobshite!

I reckon I got darked on pretty damn hard. So hard I even came up with one of his leg hairs in my mouth

There's nothing really on his side of the bed only the baby's crib & that's against the wall, our bedroom is kind of small haha. It's a shame I'm on weight watchers I'd have sent him out for some kind of cake of chocolates tomorrow

Salt in his tea/coffee. Lots and lots of it.
Bucket of cold water while he's in the shower.
Marker pen tattoo somewhere he can't see in a mirror but others can.
Add extra chilli in his dinner.

All things I wish I had the guts to do but never will... except maybe the chilli. Only my DH will probably like it

Oh it did wake him up, I got a sleepy sorry & quick hair stroke before he drifted off back to sleep. While I was left with a throbbing lip & watery eyes

He definitely wouldn't mind the chilli. I think seeing as I was injured it should definitely be something that I get some gain out of though. Like he has to make me a 3 course meal or something

He's gonna feel bad tomorrow if you're still bruised and swollen. Play on it. Lots.

I really don't understand how his knee was high enough up the bed for this to happen, what night time acrobatics was he practicing!

Don't think my lip will be too bad as it goes, it's only a small cut but my teeth are still really hurting

Red felt tip mark on willy and 'sprung' mousetrap in bed.

He's clearly doing all the night time nappies etc from now on, its too dangerous for you to get out of bed in the dark with his night time acrobatics.

My DH accidentally fell on top of me once and gave me a black eye (I know how that sounds but it was all completely innocent)

He was on tea making duties for some time, poor chap felt terrible.

Maybe he's always been an Angelina Jolie fan and came up with this plan to try out big lips?! 😘

DH managed to elbow me in the nose in his sleep. Pretty annoying as I've already had surgery to fix my septum once (DH wasn't involved I hasten to add).

Also pushed me out of bed.

However you couldn't pay me to share a bed with me as I fidget constantly. I managed a few times to end up with my feet on the pillow and my head at the bottom of the bed .

Drifted off after that concussion well there's no swelling & just a little cut & bit of redness & sore teeth so at least I don't look battered.

He has also been guilty of flinging an arm or elbow out & whacking me across the face in the past, starting to think he really doesn't like me 🤔

I'm up with the baby & can hear him having a paddy in the bedroom because the cat is annoying him to go out, I won't be helping him

I think you need to make up suitable way to make up for head butting his knee.

Me and dh have both injured eachother a couple of times, during the night over the years. We concluded our sleep personalities are just complete wankers.

Ffs gorgo you sound just like him, completely unreasonable