to want my SIL to call my niece by her original name?

[peevedfrompurley]

My neice is now 9 months old and, unbeknown to me, my SIL has been calling her by her middle name`rather than her first name on a regular basis. She chose both her names, but apparently feels she had always preferred the babe's middle name rather than the first, and that she felt pressurised by db into relegating her fave name to second position. Apparently she had been expecting to have a boy so didn't have a girl's name ready at the time. She thinks she rushed the decision.

Now she point-blank refuses to call her by her first name. As db is working 16 hours a day, he hardly gets to see his dd, so she will grow up thinking her second name is her real name!

I still want to call my niece by her first name, sil thinks that's OK but I think that's v confusing for her, we don't see them that often, but still, think sil is being deliberately difficult. I think if she made the wrong decision name-wise she should just grin and bear it, I think it all a bit wierd.

Whaddya think?

My sil told me to change my dds last names - as she wasn't happy then have my sirname and not my dps. She's not happy at all - although dp has no problem with it. Sils can be bossy boilers.

I think your SIL is the mother of this child and should call her what she wants as long as it is nice. If your DB doesn't like it (but you don't know that for sure) maybe he should try to be at home more and sort it out himself!
It sounds like your SIL is being very nice letting you still use her DD's first name even though she doesn't like it. Why don't you be more of a friend than a SIL and go with her wishes?

I so want to know if this is hatrick's SIL now...

ithink its her kid what the geoff has it got to do with you?

dh has cousins - their mother uses both their middle names as first names i have no idea why.

on telling dh's nan the name of my first born beautiful son she said " oh are you going to use his middle name"

shes dead now

I think you're probably just being supportive of your brother here and are worried his choice of name is being rejected? Are you very close? If so, quite natural for you to be on "his side"and nice that you have a good sibling relationship. But I absolutely agree with everyone else I'm afraid. You definitely need to leave your niece's parents to decide on her name. Your role is to coo and say how gorgeous she is and to call her by whatever name is decided on without comment. If there's conflict between the parents about her name that's for them to sort out. Sorry- wanted to say something different since everyone seems to think yabu but I can't!

pmsl at "what the geoff"

We have a "family" name - all the first sons in our family were called David. When my db was born my parents called him Benjamin but gave him David as a middle name. My grandmother (wife of David, who always referred to her dh as David Henry), announced "Oh, I will call him David Benjamin then". My dad said "oh no you won't!" - my mum reckons it's the first time he ever argued with her

I'm not even going to respond to the OP

If it is your SIL, she has a brass neck to come on here full o shite.

You need to respect your SIl's wishes for her daughter to be called whatever she wants her to be called.

'deliberately difficult'
Look who's talking. It's her baby. I suggest you go along with what mummy calls her.

My mum did the same thing with my brother btw. She called him a family name first to appease my dad then used his second name, her real choice, because she preferred it.

Mums have the final say on names.

yes I think you're being unreasonable. My sil tried to pressure my into a name for my dd, I haven't spoken to her since (14m) as she pi**ed me off so much. So now she doesn't get to call dd anything!
If you want to be involved, I think you have to respect the parents wishes.

Can I just point out apropos nothing.

Independent school pupils are already on holidays.

Wonder if any of them are bored yet. ??

Hatrick, I reckon that the OP is definitely your SIL. You must have mentioned that you go on MN and she thought this was a "clever" way of getting her point across to you in a not-so-subtle "anonymous" way. What a complete loser. I pity you! Glad my SIL is more supportive and understanding than this idiot.

OMG Hatrick do you think it is?

To the OP YES you are being very unreasonable and a bit strange tbh!

I just read the OP and was all ready to exclaim how gobsmacked I was at your sil for using a different name than you for your daughter. Then rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and read it properly. Your niece, HER daughter. FFS it's really got nowt to do with you. I actually think she's being really understanding letting you using a different name than the one she's chosen to use.

"she point blank refuses to call her by her first name" How DARE she! [sarcy emoticon].

Oh Hatrick are you going to ask your SIL if it's her? Please let us know. How funny. I hope she and you can have a laugh about it if it is her.

Is your dd 9 months old then?

You are all wrong.

Call the baby Geoff.

I'm not surprised, Hatrick! She's been busted. I expect she's embarrassed. She should be.

hatrick maybe it's someone framing your SIL had you thought of that?

I mean she's clearly bright enough so she'd know she was going to be busted.

Lovely name. I seem to remember that I love the name of your sister's ds too, but that was controversial. Am I right?