to want my SIL to call my niece by her original name?

[peevedfrompurley]

My neice is now 9 months old and, unbeknown to me, my SIL has been calling her by her middle name`rather than her first name on a regular basis. She chose both her names, but apparently feels she had always preferred the babe's middle name rather than the first, and that she felt pressurised by db into relegating her fave name to second position. Apparently she had been expecting to have a boy so didn't have a girl's name ready at the time. She thinks she rushed the decision.

Now she point-blank refuses to call her by her first name. As db is working 16 hours a day, he hardly gets to see his dd, so she will grow up thinking her second name is her real name!

I still want to call my niece by her first name, sil thinks that's OK but I think that's v confusing for her, we don't see them that often, but still, think sil is being deliberately difficult. I think if she made the wrong decision name-wise she should just grin and bear it, I think it all a bit wierd.

Whaddya think?

I think it's her child and it's up to her what she calls her... I was never called by my first name until I started work!

I think you should go along with your SIL's wishes tbh. Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear.

Butt out is my advice, she can call her daughter what she wants and it is between them as a couple to figure it out between them.

She's the Mum, it's her choice (so, yes, you're being unreasonable )

It's up to your SIL what she calls her baby, it's nothing to do with you at all.

I think its her child and if your DB doesn't mind then you should call her by her 2nd name

I know lots of people who have always gone by their middle name .. don't know why though

i think its her daughter so she can call her what she feels. That sounds a bit blunt but really, its weird how sometimes babies suit different names, my little one is called all sorts of things (all nice i hasten to add) chickadee being the fave at the moment and chika for short, nothing like her real name. My father was known to people by his middle name because he didnt like his first name, its personal choice. i went through a stage of wishing id stuck with our original choice but now im glad i stuck with the name that came to me out of the blue one day so i always tell people that we didnt name our daughter, she chose her name herself.

I agree that whilst you can have privately held opinions it is between your brother and SIL.

My Sil lives is West Sussex otherwise I would be convinced this was her.

It is nothing to do with you. When God made you and my SIL he obviiously matched you.

So in conclusion YABU.

My ds is known by his second name. His first is a 'handed down' name, his dad and granda already have the same name. So I kept the tradition, but he has his 'own' name too. Everyone in dh's family is happy with that, which is a miracle in itself.

Just out of interest, why do you feel that your opinion on this is so much more important than your SIL's?

And why do you feel it's your SIL who is being deliberately difficult when it is you who are going against what she wants and calling her by a name that her own parents don't use?

Is this for real? Squonk smells a troll.

If this is real - get over yourself. She can call her kid what she wants. If your brother has a problem with that, let him sort it out.

It her child she can call her whatever she feels like!!!!

I just don't think you should go back on your original decisions, that's all.

Plus, I'm not even entirely sure db is convinced, I think he still calls niece by her first name. But, as explained earlier, he is hardly ever at home.

If he's hardly ever at home, perhaps he will never know what the child is called.

Happy happy happy all round then

"feels she had always preferred the babe's middle name rather than the first, and that she felt pressurised by db into relegating her fave name to second position. Apparently she had been expecting to have a boy so didn't have a girl's name ready at the time. She thinks she rushed the decision."

she's the mother

she is entitled to be comfortable with her own child's name

you have no say in this

you should support her

Well maybe your brother is not convinced - btu really that is his problem and between him and his wife.

Do you think my SIL has more right to call the baby the name she likes than my db?

Have you spoken to your db about this burning issue? It is quite possible that he agrees with his wife 100% but is too much of a coward to disagree with you

No I don't. But I don't think it is your argument. It is between the two of them.

PVP it is none of your business. It is between them.

an important point is being missed here i think, that is, a couple with young children and babies are under enough strain as it is, long working hours to bring in the cash the least of them, need i go on, they don't need to have added pressures from other people. You are of course entitled to your opinion but for your db sake, i feel you should keep it to yourself and let them sort it out themsleves because it shouldnt be such a big issue really.

Not your baby, not your choice.

My brother would support his wife over me, his sister, in this.

He'd tell me to mind my own, whatever his thoughts on the matter.