Sister in law asked for money for her sons birthday instead of a present?!

[CleanFreak123]

Hi there,
Call me old fashioned but I think giving a 4 year old a present for their birthday is much more suitable than money. My partners sister is throwing a party for her son tomorrow. I asked what he would like and she said money! Hmm got me thinking that she would prefer the money more like.
How much should I put in a card?

A voucher for Toys R Us?

You thinking is bizarre it's perfectly normal for a four year old to have birthday money to take to Smthys or similar.

Yes I always do the toys r us gift card. Saves me choosing something child doesn't like and parent having to go and exchange it. Plus if they get a few GC they can get something bigger with them.

£10,£15 or £20 depending on finances.

I would get a gift voucher for a toy shop . I often gave school friends £10 in a card for birthdays but family get a present or a gift card at a push .

I always ask parents if the child wants something specific or if he/she is saving up to buy a more expensive item that the cash I give can contribute towards!

Works best for me as I know the child is getting what they want.

Yabu. My kids have loved getting money and being able to spend it at the toy shop. Maybe there was something they eanted that they didnt get. Or want it for a holiday.

Maybe they are getting loads of toys and the house is full or there is nothing else they need.

It's perfectly normal around that age - usually the kid puts all the money together and gets a bigger present than one person would buy - lego set, bike etc.

Hey all. I think she wants money as with him having a party he will get loads of presents! I just don't her to spend it on herself and not him! Is £10 tight? I would usually spend about £20 on a present

I wish more people have DC money for birthdays to be honest. They get so many presents, sometimes duplicates and at least money gives them the option to buy something they really want or save it.

Why would you assume she would spend it on herself?

If you don't trust your SIL, then give him a cheque made payable in his name.

Sometimes kids just have too many toys in the house and it would be better to give some money to either go into long term savings or something more expensive that he wants later in the year.

We had a lovely party invite where the child asked for £1 in a card so they could save up for a nice toy.

Much better than endless cheap crap bought by well me

So send him a cheque then so she can't spend it on herself

Sometimes my (older) dcs ask for money if they're saving for something big like a bloody iPhone 7 Perhaps ask mum if that's the case? I always specify though, if anyone asks, 'they're saving for X but they're into Pokemon, peppa pig, the waybuloos, whatever the current craze is - anything would be appreciated though.'
Put in whatever you can afford - maybe £10,15,20 as pp suggests.

£20 and get the toy shop gift card, she'd be hard pressed to find something there that's sHe wants

To be fair my family have asked what I want for my sons 2nd birthday, I've asked for money so I can put it in his savings account.

Kids get so much pointless tat and presents that don't get played with to me this is the better option.

I will buy him toys and put money in his account too but I'd rather not have a house full of rubbish.

Just give cash.

We have ended up giving Toys R Us vouchers away, as the stores are miles away, they are over priced, and delivery is rubbish.

My children loved having money they could use in small corner shops, or at the park, or on days out. They even saved some.

If your worried she'll spend it. Ask for the details of his young savers bank account and give them a cheque.

If he doesnt have one then set him one up and deposit the money. You could give him money every christmas and birthday and he'll have a nice little bit of savings for when he's a teenager.

All my brothers and sisters pay in money to my toddlers account...we have enough plastic crap for her to play with in the house without more clutter.

*well meaning friends and family.

Why do you think she will spend it on herself and not him? Most parents either take the child out to choose something, put it towards something they really need or put into a savings account for the child. But if you really have that low an opinion of her, make it a gift voucher instead.

If you would normally spend £20 on a present, give £20. Why you would give half of what you'd normally spend?!

But you asked!

We had a party for dd recently and I was literally falling over toys after it.
She even got things she already has. (I'm aware that's a first world problem, but it was such a waste).

I much preferred the cards with even just £5 in them. It meant I could buy practical things she needs; new pj's, a book, or treat her to a trip to the cinema.

I probably wouldn't be cheeky enough to say it outright, but I wouldn't have any problem if I asked someone what their child wanted and they stated money.