FIL is very controlling about food. When we go to stay with PILs over the holidays he cooks everything, and decides all meals. This has more positives than negatives as he is actually a good cook and it is a pleasure to eat his food most of the time.
Part of his being controlling about food is that he will never throw food away, even past the point it has gone off or after he has reheated rice or chicken five times. Also most of the things he makes are quite exotic and so the DCs (all under 3) do not always want to eat them. He also does it within his own timing, so would think nothing of serving dinner at 10pm at night after the DC should be in bed.
In these situations, I make something else that I know they like and will eat (pesto pasta etc) But he cannot stand anyone else in the kitchen. So while I am doing it he is standing over me asking what I am doing, why I am not making the pasta al denté, why my DC will not eat his food, suggesting ridiculous changes to the dish I am making, taking on a consulting role, and talking to me in a patronising way as if I think what I am making is a gourmet meal. Does that make sense?
I say over and over again that this is just something simple for the DC to eat because they are fussy about food and need to eat at a regular time - this is not something I need advice on or something I think needs to be entered into master chef, I am just putting it together because the DC need to eat.
But he cannot accept this. Yesterday DD2 asked for an omelette with ham at 5pm. The other two DC agreed they would eat it too so I made a big one and served them all with some tomatoes and salad at 5pm. FIL was hanging around as usual critiquing things, asking why I wasn't putting some chilli in the omelette... why I wasn't doing this and that.
Once DCs were in bed and FIL was serving up steak at 10pm he insisted on bringing out the cold, flabby, gnawed ends of the remaining omelette I made at 5pm as the "piece de resistance" (or whatever it's called) then serving everyone a tiny piece. He then told me in front of everyone that I "should have added chilli," and I should learn that for "next time."
I told him, and everyone, as I always do, that this was a meal for the DC earlier and I never intended everyone to eat it at dinner time, and then I am met with shock from everyone at the thought that I was considering throwing away the remaining omelette that the DC didn't eat.
The choice seems to be that whatever is made in the kitchen is FIL's property to serve up/ridicule/eat/critique. Even if it has an entirely different purpose.
AIBU?