Why are there NO decent men left ....

[FUNM]

Many MN threads advise LTB asap......what happened to Mr Nice, Honest and Reliable!?

I am lying next to one (I can't sleep, he is feeling poorly and is snoring gently), I met him on Tinder.

um, posters saying ''my DH is lovely'' are missing the point. Their husbands aren't available are they?

I think you'll find that is exactly the point.

The OP put "left" in her thread title.

My DH is (too) nice, honest and reliable.
He also comes with a shit load of baggage which is so hard to deal with that I sometimes dream about LTB anyway.

Chips, having seen some of your other posts on here I think it's pretty clear that your personal experiences, eg with married men etc, are affecting your view on this. You've also posted before about depression and having counselling (which I have also had, so I sympathise on that score). But it's unfair on others to try to make them feel as bad or insecure about men as you do.

I'm genuinely sorry you've had a shit time with men, but it's simply inaccurate to assume that your experiences are universal or that everyone is attracted to the same sort of people you are. Some men are awful, some men are great - and exactly the same applies to women.

I was fortunate to stumble across a good 'un very early into adulthood, so we've held on to each other. I have no need to create posts about him, so like most decent, reasonable partners, he is underrepresented on here. He's not perfect, neither am I, but we are able to talk, compromise and treat each other with love, respect, dignity and humour.

DM found herself in the dating pool in her 50s after being widowed. Most of the best were widowers who'd had happy marriages. Some other decent men had emerged from long marriages which had been sufficiently stable to last until the age group where children left home and were more a case of growing apart rather than abusive, unreasonable behaviour. It tended to become apparent why most of the long term single men were long term single; they tended to be unusually clingy to their mothers or very deep set and inflexible in their habits/ behaviour. It would take a very niche personality to handle a happy relationship with them.

There's plenty of unreasonable female behaviour described on here be it MiLs, step mothers, narcissistic mothers, "friends" that feed their egos. They tend to be looked at as subcategories rather than a blanket criticism of female behaviour.

Yep I can't find any decent ones. Been single 3 years now. Can't believe how hard it is to meet a decent person. Who wants to settle down

Those particular husbands aren't available now, but they obviously have been available at some point

Yes, but they seem to be available for around a nanosecond. Lovely, great, if you happen to meet them whilst they're available. However, some people just don't get that lucky.

Oh well. There's always cats. And Rioja.

My DP and I were two sides of the same coin in good qualities and bad and both behaved terribly for years (before we were together!). Now we are together and neither of us have any wish to go back to any shenanigans. There are good men out there, they might not present as you would expect them but they do exist. Many people in my line of work get together through work because we are in a business where unless you do it you won't understand it. OP I hope you find someone if that's what you want.

I'm sure there are plenty of good, decent men out there, and echo Paps who point out that there appear to be so many scumbag/deadbeat OHs on MN because posters write when at the end of their rope.

Also, happiness writes white as they say.

I met my wonderful late DH when we were 37.

Paps??? PPs.

Because there were none to begin with?

Because there were none to begin with?

Nope, that is definitely not it.

The decent men I know in real life are all attached. The single men I know are generally single for very good reason. V hard to find decent men especially in 40's good thing I like em much younger

Some cynical posters out tonight still snorting at Chip's post

Gaphista, that's where I'm going wrong. I was trying to find an age appropriate man. ie, 2-7 years older. I dated a man 7 years older than me. He was a bit chubby as well. He was very attentive to begin with, good fun, clever. No obvious red flags but he was too stressed. He also vaped. Worst of all he bitched about his xw relentlessly and tried unsuccessfully to talk me in to anal sex within five weeks of meeting. I do not miss that guy. I don't know how I can lower the bar ykwim.

It's congenital. They're just not decent.

chips, you are my new favourite funny poster

I think if you've been happily married for years you don't realize how dire it is out there in the dating world.
Men in general seem to be more entitled less ready to commit and feel they can behave badly because things like FWB is seen as the norm.
Internet dating encourages the above and I'm sure there are plenty of women like this as well but as I'm a straight female I have had more experience with the above.

I assume from your quite inflammatory post, you're expecting equally honest answers back.

Think how many men you have met in your life. Hundreds of thousands. Maybe even more. None have them have wanted to spend the rest of their life with you.

Statistically, you are the problem. It isn't the quality of men which are available. The truth may be a little closer to home!

If all the men you meet are bastards you need to take a long hard look at your criteria for choosing men. My sister only dates alpha men who are a bit dangerous and is then shocked when these men turn out to be unreliable at best and abusive at worst. Out of 6 recent partners only one hasn't assaulted her and she dumped him for being too safe and boring.

Meh age appropriate my arse. Long as it's not indecently young or old I say go for whichever decent guy you can find.

Must confess I'm not the easiest person to be with either. But think I've become better over the years. More patient, less worrying over things that don't really matter.

I'm both reliable and honest. My niceness level varies according to what sort of a day I'm having.

Single BTW.

Nowhere did i say i was dating bastards. I give bastards and sexists a wide brrth.
I think the difficulty is that anybody i truly connect with has other options and isnt motivated to commit. Emotionally articulate men are rarer than emotionally aware women so they're well liked and easy to connect with. A man who seems precious to me because of his high EQ is not struggling to connect with other women.

It is such a boring simification to advise single women not to date bastards.

But it's not the be and end all. I get on with my life but finding somebody you can connect with who wants the same thing isnt easy. There's a huge amount of luck involved