Why are there NO decent men left ....

[FUNM]

Many MN threads advise LTB asap......what happened to Mr Nice, Honest and Reliable!?

@bridgetoc, are you really suggesting that when a poster comes on here and describes her partner as controlling and abusive that the posters who tell her to leave him are joyless men-haters?

Don't you think it's more likely that they know some really decent men and think the OP should give herself a chance with one of them, rather than the absolute fucking dud she's been landed with?

bardo. Was he from Scotland with first initial A ?

@Imperial............ No I'm not suggesting that at all. A lot of correct, sensible, caring advice is given on MN. However, I think we can all agree that there are plenty of the 'all men are pigs' brigade also.

I know of some awful men.I know of some awful women.

I know of some lovely men.I know of some lovely women.

I do wish I hadnt stupidly married a cuntish man (stbxh), but I don't believe cuntishness is defined by gender

I think there are a lot of decent men left. But not perfect ones. Any more than there are perfect women. Sometimes the expectations on here astound me. DH earns £150K per year works 200 hours a week and won't do the cleaning. FFS.

@The80sWeregreat no nothing bad happened. I just wondered after reading many threads there was a lot of LTB advised almost instantly that is just seemed like there were only Bs out there, but good to see some positive posts :)

FUNM Fri 11-Aug-17 15:44:10
"Many MN threads advise LTB asap......what happened to Mr Nice, Honest and Reliable!?"

My LTB reactions (not always expressed aloud) arises precisely out of the fact that I know a good many decent, reliable and caring men, young and old, and am shocked by what seems to me the very low standards of some women who post in Relationships ("oh yes, I know he keeps all the money for himself and makes cruel remarks to the dc and has hit me a couple of time, but he's a lovely man really, most of the time).

@Viviennemary You should buy your DH a IRobot Roomba vacuum - he can have a beer and relax while helping with the housework

Well, my problem is not high expectations that's for sure.

Where can I find one of these lovely men mentioned 🤔

There are great people, there are vacuous wastes of space but, there are no perfect people.

Most divorces are initiated by women. Women don't divorce decent men. Therefore the ones in the dating pool are the rejects who are totally unsuitable relationship material.

I think it makes sense. The decent good guys pretty much all end up in relationships, and are therefore not available to date. The dodgy ones get dumped or not picked, and that's what's left over to choose from.
Obviously not all, nice guys can find themselves married to not nice people, and end up back in the dating pool too. It's just rarer.
Dh and I have been together since high school, and we both agree we'd be screwed if we ever had to try dating again, in this day and age.

Some of it may be unreasonble expectations. A desire for perfection without recognising our own imperfections.

So when we met dp wasn't the best cook. By any stretch. I wasn't the most domesticated cleaner. We both changed/ developed/ grew. I'm still not the most domesticated but a million times better than I was. Dp's such a better cook now. I'm still in charge of big/group cooking. And the imaginative cooking when we have 'nothing in '.

We have both compromised for the other. We both want to be better for the other. Problems arise when only one wants to do that, or neither. When you can't be bothered any more it is time to check out.

The ones in the 40 plus dating pool are going to be a mixed bag.

Plus as someone else alluded to, if you were a bloke back on the dating scene after a 15-20 year marriage and faced with the choice of hundreds of women on dating sites, why would you want to commit? It's not as easy as you get older.

Well chips, you can believe what you want. You're wrong though, and it's a shame you feel that way. Did something bad happen to you
Yes. I kept my eyes and ears open.

Chips, your eyes and ears have seriously selective functioning.

I know plenty of decent men, not perfect but absolutely fine. They do exist, if you don't wish to acknowledge them then fine, but it's entirely subjective on your part and not the objective wisdom you seem to be claiming.

Chips, your eyes and ears have seriously selective functioning.
Sorry, still laughing. Think what you like.

My DP is an absolutely lovely man. Kind, funny, clever, reliable, affectionate, caring, decent. I have some really lovely male friends as well who are great examples of decent men and have really strong relationships with their wives and are brilliant dads too.

I think the thing to remember is that on Mumsnet, people are generally posting about their partners because they have a problem, a complaint or just want to let off steam by ranting. The people whose partners are just nice, decent men or haven't done anything annoying don't actually need to start a thread for advice or conversation about that, so you don't hear about then - just as people who get bad customer service in a shop or restaurant are more likely to give feedback than people who have no complaints. So you probably get a slightly skewed picture from Mumsnet.

what happened to Mr Nice, Honest and Reliable!?

They are married to Mrs Nice, Honest and Reliable.

Op do not go on tinder. Trust me.

um, posters saying ''my DH is lovely'' are missing the point. Their husbands aren't available are they?

Those particular husbands aren't available now, but they obviously have been available at some point or we wouldn't have met them. There's nothing special about us that somehow meant we got allocated men, and there isn't some sort of finite quota of decency that has now been used up by us years ago.

Also worth remembering that someone who is right for you might not be right for someone else, so decent/honest/reliable men don't necessarily immediately get snapped up and stay off the market for the rest of their lives. They get dumped and become available again like anyone else.

my dad is absolutely rock solid, selfless, quality underrated dad material. did not appreciate this til i became a parent myself. he is taken ofc.

Right. So I just need to open my eyes wider. Thanks