to expect my MIL to give us the money she promised?

[KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg]

this is still going on!!

MIL said she had £500 for us for our wedding, that is 'put away' in one of those hard to get at accounts,

when i got my wedding dress she gave me £130

we had a hard time getting the money promised from FIL too (said £1000 but gave us £500 in the end)

so once FIL gave us £500 MIL asked if she could borow £300 for her rent!!

DH agreed,

so now she owes us £300 that she borrowed and hasnt mentioned the other £370 (left over from the original £500 she said she would give us)

she had said the money is put away - its been about 5 months now - why doesnt she just get it out of the account??

we didnt plan to get married until we had save ourselves but my MIL, FIL and mum all said they had money for us so why wait!

so we planned it based on what they said they would give us but upto now MIL has given us £130 out of the original £500 she said

FIL has given us £500 in stead of £1000 (and MIL has taken 300 of that!!)

and my mum was going to give us £1000 - but she is ill now and cant sell the house because of some clause that means if she leaves before Jan she owes the council £30,000!!!

i dont know what to do

like i said we werent going to get married as we couldnt afford it, but they promised us this money and we have booked and paid deposits (over £500 worth) based on these promises

[KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg]

MIL & FIL are divorced BTW

[mumto3girls]

Oh Kitty, that's awful.
If you don't get this money can your wedding still go ahead?

I think in these circumstances I would phone her ( or get dp to phone) and say we are now at the point where xyz needs paying, please can you tell us when you will be able to give us the money you have for us?

I know money is always an awful subject to discuss...Good Luck and I hope she has it.

[KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg]

i dont think so as we owe the hotel £1,300

we cant get that together alone

my mum was paying it for us

[Freckle]

I really think it's down to your dp to sort this out. They are his parents.

[KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg]

i dont expect anything else from FIL

its just MIL has said time and time again theres this money in an account for us but she always acts skint when DP mentions money - but its not supposed to be money from her wages its money put away from her divorce

im starting to think shes lying about it as she surely wouldve borrowed the money from that savings account instead of from us when she needed rent money

she said there is a grand for each child,

so should be £3000 in there

or shes spent it

[mumto3girls]

Would it be posible, if she doesn't pay up, to get a loan or put the bill on a credit card?

[KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg]

weve been trying to get a loan, but we cant even get a credit card (we have never borrowed anything before) so have 0 credit history,

thats why im panicking!

[suejonez]

can you not go for heavy handed emotional balckmail nd tell FIL and MIL that wedding is off as money promised is not forthcoming?

[mumto3girls]

What does DP think about all this? He must be worried too - does he think she has spent the money?

If you're close enought o her I would call her right now and after a bit of a chat just say, oh yeah..the hotel now needs the next payment instalment ...when shall you be able to give is the £££'s you have put by?

[KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg]

because she makes out all sad like she doesnt have the money - she makes us feel like its coming out of her wages, but its supposed to be put away especially for this,

i mean why would she need to borrow from us when she has savings?

DP is a soft arse, he wont want to upset her,

im going to write her a letter i think

[mumto3girls]

I'd just ring her, pass th time of day and then just mention the wedding...

Why do you fel you should write to her?

[EmilyDavidson]

It sounds like she hasnt really got the money ,or maybe she has but she cant face giving it away. It doesnt look like she is going to give it to you.

I think you have to learn a really hrd lesson that you cant trust her. And dont ever lend her any money again either. The old bag.

[KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg]

because im a bit of a wreck at the mo, and if i try and talk to her ill just end up crying,

she gave her daughter about £1,500 in june when she got married

DP thinks its been spent on SILs IVF

[Soapbox]

I think neither your mother or your MIL have the money to give to you.

The lesson here is don't rely on other people to foot your expenses.

If you nevertheless do rely on them, then FGS have the money in your mits before you commit to spending it.

They don't have the money so go down to the reg office and get married - that it what it is all about - not the grand display

[mumto3girls]

Kitty..perhaps if she did hear you crying she'd understand tho...it seems that if she thinks you and DP can lend her £300 at the drop of a hat she probably thinks you don't really need her money...?

If she heard you blubbing down the phone at least she would perhaps be prompted into telling the truth.

[powder28]

How much have you spent on the wedding up to now and when is it supposed to be?

[KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg]

she asked to borry the money as she knew FIL had given it to us,

theres no way we could lend her £30 in normal circumstances, - she knew we had just gotten it, thats why she asked

[KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg]

'borry' ?? where did that come from??

my gran i think1 she says that
lol

[grannycracksopenabottleofwine]

could she have the money in a 60 day deposit account or a fixed term bond? in that case she may not want to take it out 'til the last minute

[mumto3girls]

I think you know the answer Kiiy, I'm sorry but I doubt you're going to see that money...

How long have you got before you need to raise it?

[suejonez]

your DH was a prize berk for saying yes to her request to borrow money - can;t beleive FIL would be impressed that he has effective lent his ex-wife £300

[powder28]

If there is no way you can postpone things or get your money back, then I would put it down to experience, start saving and book it when you can afford the wedding you want. If anyone says they will give you money just see it as an added bonus, but dont rely on it.
I wouldnt mention it again either, it sounds like your inlaws have problems of their own.
I do feel for you. We lost over a grand trying to sell our flat once.

[KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg]

its in November

alot of the stuff we have vut on to save money ... ebay dress, friend taking photos, MIL making cake, borrowed bridesmaids dresses ect

its just the venue really, i need about £1800

in total,

if MIL gives us the £600 we may just scrape by

i dont know

[KittyLetteMeEatAnEasterEgg]

my FIL has money, but he makes such a big deal about it, yknow,

making us feel bad - hes a twat

[southeastastra]

sounds like you'll have to raise the rest yourself. tbh why did you go ahead without having the money first? even if it was promised