Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To wear ear plugs in the car on journeys with the kids

78 replies

Justoneme · 10/08/2017 11:55

I have 4 DCs between 7- 10 years old. On car journeys with them and DP my DCs get so, so loud and it really stresses me out to the point of shouting at them to be a quiet. So I am now wearing ear plugs to block out the noise and hopefully not be as stressed.

It doesn't seem to bother DP as much.

Am I over reacting, should they be able to scream and shout or is wearing ear plugs a reasonable thing?! I have even got out the car and walked for a bit alongside it in traffic when they get loud.

Any related experience helpful, please!!

OP posts:

MarmaladeIsMyJam · 10/08/2017 11:57

No screaming and shouting in the car! What are they doing? Fighting or playing? Do they not listen to you when you tell them to be quiet?

Original poster

Justoneme · 10/08/2017 12:00

They are generally playing, there are 3 together in the middle and 1 in th very back seats. It is the 3 in the middle where they seem to feed off each other and get louder and louder. It escalates so quickly I end up shouting before just asking them to be quiet

OP posts:

Papafran · 10/08/2017 12:02

You can't wear ear plugs if you are driving, but otherwise, I don't really see the issue if they are incapable of shutting up.

Waffles80 · 10/08/2017 13:04

My twin three-year-olds totally understand being quiet in the car.

Train your children to be quiet in the car.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 10/08/2017 13:07

Not if you are driving, it's not safe.

PsychoPumpkin · 10/08/2017 13:08

I have a 6 year old and two under two and I am so like you! Most times I can handle the noise but on occasion it gets too much so I will pop in ear plugs AND I wear ear defenders .

To the posters who say 'train your children to be quiet' the eldest is fine, the two younger ones are pretty much in training for everything, being so small, so we're working on being quiet!!

PsychoPumpkin · 10/08/2017 13:09

I will say that I'm the passenger not the driver though!

Ridingthegravytrain · 10/08/2017 13:09

I think kids need to be taught to be quiet in the car. If they aren't it is distracting and can be dangerous.

But that aside, if you're not driving yanbu. Audiobook on headphones very loudly is also good

specialsubject · 10/08/2017 13:12

That is dangerously distracting for the driver, and you don't have the road to yourselves. Teach your kids to behave.

BackforGood · 10/08/2017 13:20

I have to say interacting with them, and helping them learn has got to be the better long term action. It's part of parenting I'm afraid. Otherwise you are just dealing with the symptom, not helping anyone - esp. the driver, but also teaching your dc how to behave when around others.

ClarkeyCat · 10/08/2017 13:21

Can't you put two in the middle and two in the back then? I agree it' a distraction and they are not babies, they should be able to play quietly.

talonofthehawk · 10/08/2017 13:38

Can't you just parent your children?

caffeinestream · 10/08/2017 13:44

Why not put two in the middle, two in the back, with the middle seats free? You can't wear earplugs when driving, you need to be aware of your surroundings and that includes noise from traffic/other cars.

What do they have to entertain them/distract them? Are they young enough to entertain with a game of I-Spy or car bingo or the numberplate game? Or could you put on an audio book/use a DVD player with splitters so they have something to watch or listen to?

Car journeys are pretty boring for young kids, so I think if you're going any kind of distance, you need plans in place to stop them getting bored and irritable.

coldcanary · 10/08/2017 13:46

Try DVD players and travel packs if you haven't already. We originally got DVD players to keep our 3 massively travel sick children distracted before we discovered medication that actually worked but now they put on a film and settle in for the journey quietly
Or red car blue car. Might get a bit competitive but still a good game!

DillyDilly · 10/08/2017 13:50

If you're driving, you shouldn't really wear ear-plugs. If your DP is driving, then you shouldn't wear them either - you should be ensuring your children aren't screaming so that the driver can concentrate on driving and not be distracted.

Original poster

Justoneme · 10/08/2017 13:56

I am the driver and it is distracting. Seriously is no one in the same position having noisy kids in the car?!?

OP posts:

drinkingtea · 10/08/2017 13:57

How does your DP feel about you essentially opting out of child wrangling and all interaction during all car journeys?

The answer to that and to the question of who is driving are key to knowing who is bu.

It seems very precious and entitled to essentially put yourself in stasis for the journey and leave both driving and dealing with the kids to your DP if it's every time. It's a bit like saying you hate dealing with poo and sick so leave all nappy changing and cleaning up sick to your partner, who is unlikely to love being left to deal with everything that you're too special for.

MoodyMumOfOne · 10/08/2017 13:57

Your children are definitely old enough to behave appropriately in a car. It should be explained to them the reasons why it is unsafe/distracting for them to be noisy in the car, even on a short run and consequences put in place if they fail to do as asked. This should all be explained in a calm environment e.g. at home, not during a chaotic journey. Good luck!

MoodyMumOfOne · 10/08/2017 13:58

And your DP needs to be fully on board and in agreement

drinkingtea · 10/08/2017 14:02

Ah cross posted.

Not safe if you're driving, no. Less entitled, but less safe.

I have 3 who sit in a row and they can get loud, but I drove them around alone a lot, they have to be reminded to be calmer. When we had a 7 seater I often drove up to 6 kids places - the only few times it got so noisy I had to threaten to turn around were when chauffeuring six 7,8 or 9 year olds to parties or sports fixtures.

Papafran · 10/08/2017 14:06

You are the driver? Get your DP to get them to shut up and have a serious word with them. Or stop the car and say you are going no further until everyone is quiet.

If you are the driver, how are you able to get out and walk in traffic?

caffeinestream · 10/08/2017 14:07

Of course it's distracting but you can't just stick earplugs in and carry on! You need to be able to hear what's going on so you're fully aware of things like sirens, people's horns or people shouting in case there's danger and you're not looking.

You've ignored everyone's suggestions about how to help - what entertainment do your kids have and can't you split them so they're sat two and two, instead of cramming three together and leaving one on their own?

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 10/08/2017 14:09

Wow some nasty comments on here. Are people aware that OP can't control the voices of 4 young children? And WTF is 'train your children' all about. They're not dogs.

Kursk · 10/08/2017 14:09

When ours were little I would look at the plexiglass screens in the back of police cars and wish we had them.

seething1234 · 10/08/2017 14:15

I listen to podcasts or audiobooks to drown them out - very easy to say train them to be quite when I had two kids I used to think my kids were so well behaved now add on another two and at times they are loud and bicker, the joys of big families

Flip

1 2 3 4