To not invite the dog

[winefixeswhine]

My sil is annoyed because we have said she can't bring her dog to our house for a family BBQ with our very small children. She lives alone with dog. She says he's her family and she feels like we don't trust her.
He's very bouncy, springs on and off furniture etc not particularly obedient.
I'm just not keen on having a fairly boisterous dog around the kids/food/jumping around the house.
Aibu?

YANBU to say no, that's your choice. It would be my choice if I were your SIL to take the pooch our for a nice pub lunch instead.

It would be my choice if I were your SIL to take the pooch our for a nice pub lunch instead.

🙄

YANBU. I like dogs and my parent's dog is always welcome along when they visit because she is beautifully trained, the kids love her and she is fine with our cat. I wouldn't have a badly trained dog around children and a bbq though. Your SIL should work on the dog's behaviour if she wants it to be welcome in other people's homes.

I wouldn't dream of taking my dog to a family bbq, I would be worried their garden wasn't secure and the dog would be better off at home. The only place he goes is my bil's who says he's the 'perfect' dog so we got him one just like him!

Why the eyeballs. Surely better to have guests that are not attending begrudging leaving their "family" behind at home. You might think the notion the dog means that much ridiculous, but if that's how she feels then it is important to her.

I still think it's fine to say the dog isn't welcome.

Yes, she could take the dog out for a nice pub lunch. Then maybe a bit of shopping, catch a show in the world West End perhaps followed by some cocktails ...

To make up for the dog's disappointment.

Hysterical! Take the dog out for a pub lunch! Get a grip!

YANBU. It makes me cringe when people think they have the right to take their mutt to other peoples homes. They're the same bunch who take their dog out for a walk, let it off its lead, and then the little fucker jumps up people, covering them in mud, and knocking them flying!

Just a thought maybe she feels more secure in social situations when her dog is with her and the dog gives her confidence when mixing with people ESP as she lives by herself I know mine do.

Neither of you are U really. I have cats, one particularly hates dogs. Visitors can't bring their dogs with them as she would attack them. One visitor did on Christmas Day which i was not impressed about. She had to leave him in her car in the end as I wasn't willing to lock the cat out.

If someone doesn't want to come without their dog but the dog can't come, they just need to decline.

makes me laugh, these people who say their dogs don't smell....all dogs smell, it's just you can't smell them as are so used to the pong they give off!

The dog doesn't actually get a pub lunch; they are about £14 after all. The dog sits on the floor whilst the SIL has the pub lunch.. Perhaps in a pub garden. Maybe it has some of the left overs later.

Funnily enough, the other SIL doesn't find it amusing when we ask her not to bring her 2 youngest to ours. They are a complete PITA around the dog and won't leave the poor animal alone. And she doesn't make any attempt to stop them, no matter how many times I ask her to (the little fuckers take no notice of me or DP).

Am I being doggist - but can't the dog be put in a different room to the two little ones?

YANBU

I say this as the owner of 2 pretty well behaved spaniels. My dogs generally come most places with me, because they're "allowed".

When I visit some friends and my parents the dogs are welcome. If I don't have them when I visit my dad he's really disappointed.

When I visit other friends the dogs stay home. They're quite happy to sleep etc for a few hours on their own.

That said, it's dependent on distance. If it's a 20 - 30 minute drive then it's fine, someone can nip home and see to them. If it's any more than that and we couldn't get someone to sit with the dogs or nip in and let them out we would politely decline the invitation.

Our house is a dog free zone. No immediate relatives have dogs though. If people won't leave their dog behind they can stay elsewhere and we'll just meet up somewhere dog friendly.

It would be my choice if I were your SIL to take the pooch our for a nice pub lunch instead

Most pubs won't let the dog in either.

Your house so your choice.
I have a puppy. She's not keen on being left. If I'm not happy to leave her then we turn invitations down. I certainly wouldn't bring her along to a BBQ.

X post. Lots of pubs do let dogs in. Even some cafes soon!

Christmas this year I told mil to bring dog with her because she didn't want to leave him home alone . We thought she would stay a few hours or possibly the night . She ate dinner and stayed short while and left. Dog was fine no bother . I have my own dog who had to stay outside while her dog was here but we didn't mind accommadating this because I wouldn't have my dog in while cooking and eating anyway. The dog then came to every Sunday dinner after . I wasn't asked could he come. In the end after months of this I made the dog go outside and stay outside with my dog and he hasn't appeared for dinner since.

I wouldn't bring my dog to a family occasion involving small children. He'd prefer not to go as he barks at them if they're noisy and running about, also tries to round them up and herd them out of the way.
Very funny to watch but the parents don't usually appreciate it.
I feel the same as him about young kids so glad to be able to use the "can't leave my dog" excuse to avoid going

My SIL takes her cat everywhere with her, even for overnight visits, drives me potty. YANBU!

My sister always brings her dogs to everything

God no. I wouldn't take my dog anywhere he would eat the children and beg for the barbecue.