To think this is not how you do needing a seat in pregnancy

[Mirrorface]

Getting on a not particularly busy train and just bellowing 'can someone give me a seat' a few times. No please. Of course someone gave her a seat and said 'sorry I didn't see you' and she replied 'I had to fight my way through'. Hardly. As I said it's not that busy and I was one of the few people standing - she pretty much shouted in my ear!

Not everyone deliberately ignores people. I hate public transport and I deliberately don't look at people and just read my Kindle and have my headphones in so there's every chance I genuinely wouldn't notice someone needing a seat. If I did notice I would obviously offer my seat though.

Part of the problem is that there are usually reserved seats, but rarely those using them even look around.

I think individual people can be excused for not noticing, but nobody is less likely.

Still, sometimes it's not clear if the woman is pregnant or not. I'll be happy if a pregnant woman announces she is, as I'll give up my seat gladly. Please or no please.

I think it's great - maybe minus the yelling down your ear.

Women are socialised from birth to be seen and not heard. Good on her for putting her comfort above staying quiet.

*I cried and wished I'd miscarry I was so ill through my first. I lost several stone. I still had to use public transport though.

Ditto. But I still managed to be polite on public transport.

I'm a great believer in asking people generally rather than one person specifically because it's Sod's law that the smart young man in a suit who you ask will be the one with muscular dystrophy, and the healthy young woman will be on her way back from a miscarriage diagnosis. So yes, ask generally, which means loudly enough for several people with seats to hear, and loudly enough for the people sitting down to hear you means, unfortunately that the standing commuters in between you and the seated commuters will get an earful - there's physically no way round that is there?

A please would be nice (although not obligatory - "please" is required for someone doing a supererogatory favour but healthy people standing up for pregnant women is not supererogatory - it's part of the deal on public transport, like not dropping litter and moving down the carriage to make room).

Not judging or bitching much OP.

Are you always like that?

astoundedgoat that made me laugh. She couldn't have written that as it didn't happen! She didn't say please, people didn't ignore her, I wasn't sitting down and I certainly didn't 'give her daggers' because I'm more polite than that

She shouted as she got on the train so before she got to the seating area, therefore no-one seated would have had time to see her let alone leap up.

migraleve am I always miffed when people are rude? Often yes as I personally try to get along with people. It makes the world a pleasanter place

Well when I said that nobody had given me a seat in the waiting room when I was in labour I was met with 'did you ask for one?' so maybe she was just pissed off with people saying things like that to her and decided to go about it that way

I've always asked for a seat on the train when pg. I'm not standing there like a lemon until someone notices. But I always say please. And thank you.

During my first pg I lost count the times I stood while trying to catch someone's eye for a seat, only to give up & sit on the floor. It's humiliating and upsetting to be ignored.

Ahem.....

We'd happily give up our seats to pregnant MNers anyday.

We can understand tempers flaring on this topic but can we ask everyone to post within our Talk Guidelines please.

Peace and Love

To clarify at no point did I state that that I wouldn't give up my seat to a pregnant lady.

I wasn't actually sitting in this situation but that's beside the point.

She managed to ask a few times because she started shouting as she got on the train doors before she got to the seats bit and people even had a chance to look up and grasp what was happening. No-one ignored her once they realised she was pregnant and asking for a seat.

The issue here was her rudeness nothing else. The point of the post was as like any other post about not much you see here every day - I was taken aback by her rudeness and wanted to idly discuss it. Nothing Machiavellian