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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To rehome the elderly cat?

275 replies

Lazyginger · 09/08/2017 23:10

The elderly cat (15) keeps pissing in the house. The house stinks.
I have tried everything! I've taken it to the vets (several times) for expensive tests - apparently there's nothing wrong.
I've thrown out countless carpet and door mat.
I've tried everything Google suggests. Tin foil. Orange peel. Aversion therapy.
Locking her out works whilst she's out! But as soon as I let her in again she pisses somewhere! Soon it will be winter again and I didnt really want to lock her out.
Thing is, apart from making the house stink, I've got a 4 month old ds who will soon be crawling and the last thing I want is for him to find a lake of cat piss.
I'm at the end of the road and considering taking her back to the cats protection as awful as it makes me feel. Is this unreasonable? Im at my wits end!

OP posts:
reallyanotherone · 09/08/2017 23:16

Yes, yabu. What do you think will happen- Do you think someone else is going to rehome her? Or do you think she'll live in misery in kennels, being put to sleep fairly soon.

This is part of having a pet. They get old. Limit her to one part of the house like a utility room or kitchen where there's no carpet and it wipes down. Two litter trays, and feliway everywhere. No other cats.

If you can't live with it have her pts. But do it in the comfort of her own home, don't pass the problem onto cats protection, and have her suffer in the process.

Notcontent · 09/08/2017 23:18

That's a very difficult situation. Sad
did the vet suggest anything?

Gramgram · 09/08/2017 23:20

Have you had her checked over by a vet?

SecondBreakfast · 09/08/2017 23:23

Sure, rehome her! There's shed loads of people who want an incontinent old cat! No chance of her spending months in a cage followed by a short overdose blast of barbiturates Hmm

After all, pets are just for the jollies right? Just till they get old and inconvenient.

lalalalyra · 09/08/2017 23:23

I wouldn't rehome her, certainly not to somewhere like cats protection where she has no chance of being picked.

If you've tried limiting her to one space and even that's not working then I'd have her pts rather than live out her days at CP.

Is she happy? My elderly cat was utterly miserable when he started being unable to make it to the box (there was 6 boxes and he still couldn't get there in time) so having him pts was absolutely the right thing. How is she other than the peeing?

Spuddington · 09/08/2017 23:27

Yabu.

And a little heartless.

SuburbanRhonda · 09/08/2017 23:27

Cats normally do this when they're stressed or anxious.

As you've recently had a baby I'm guessing this could be the reason. And a new baby is one of the most common reason for cats being rehomed.

Viviennemary · 09/08/2017 23:27

You certainly can't rehome this cat. And then the new owners house will smell too. I don't know what the answer is. Go to the vet again and see what they think you should do. I don't think rehoming is an option at this stage.

SuburbanRhonda · 09/08/2017 23:29

And you should have had pet insurance for those pesky "expensive tests".

ShoesHaveSouls · 09/08/2017 23:31

You won't be able to re-home a 15 yr old cat.

Beebee7 · 09/08/2017 23:31

Not easy for anyone - and your poor cat. Sad

And I do feel for you too.

When we moved house a few years ago, one of my cats who was a rescue (we had had her a year, and she was 2,) started peeing on the kitchen floor, up the kitchen cupboard doors, and over the lino in the kitchen. Drove me chuffin' nuts! And the house stunk of pee downstairs too! However, it was always NEAR the litter and in the kitchen, so not on the carpet.

It (fortunately) stopped when we removed the litter and got a catflap installed so it made her go outside! We brought the litter back in for winter, and she was ok by then, but even now she has 'spillages' occasionally.

But a cat of 15, who is losing control of their peeing (and pooing soon maybe,) some may say that it's the beginning of the end for a pet.

Best ask the vet for advice.

Beebee7 · 09/08/2017 23:32

I agree with the poster who suggested the new baby may be a contributing factor. Have you tried feliway?

SuperBeagle · 09/08/2017 23:33

Perhaps your son will feel the same way about you in the future. After all, the probability is that you'll become difficult and incontinent. Perhaps he'll just shove you off to a home and never visit or pay you any mind.

bigtapdancingpimp · 09/08/2017 23:34

WTF do you mean by aversion therapy? Smack her around the head when she pissed in the house?

kali110 · 09/08/2017 23:34

Yes, yabu.
I've been there.
Get the cat checked by the vet.
If its not health then its probably stressed.
There are things you can do.
Feliway spray or plug in, kalms, liquid you can Put in it's food.
Stuff you can buy in the vet or in petshops.

kali110 · 09/08/2017 23:35

Locking her out? Sad do you think that's helping?

Wolfiefan · 09/08/2017 23:38

She's not doing it for no reason. Arthritis? Makes climbing into tray harder? Old age? Can make skin on paws thinner so litter painful. Change type. Old age can also mean less time to get to a tray. They need multiple trays round the house? UTI? Needs treating?
Nobody will take on a 15 year old cat with this problem. She will be euthanised.

sonjadog · 09/08/2017 23:39

You won't be able to rehome her. No-one will take on and elderly, incontinent cat. If you feel you can no longer have her, then you will have to get her put to sleep.

Crazycatlady83 · 09/08/2017 23:40

I get it OP - my cat started doing the same after my son was born (although she was a slightly younger cat than yours) and I was at my wits end. Her "favourite" place to go was on our sofa!

I took her to the vet and I was told there was nothing wrong but after going back a second time, I was told it might be stress incontinence and was given medication to help her go more easily (just applied to the food) It sorted it out and we haven't had a problem since.

I was also told to thoroughly clean the places where she had pee'd (like I hadn't already Confused as if she smelt it again she would "add" to it. There are special products you can buy, but I literally bleached most of what I could! I was advised feliway plug ins, one more cat litter box to number of cats (we have two cats and so 3 litter trays) and try to make a space for her high up, so she can get away as cats like to go high when they are stressed.

We also made sure there was plenty of water (I know you are trying to stop the pee but the more she drunk, the easier it was for her to go and so she would be more inclined to make it to the litter tray in time) We also made sure she was fussed over so she wasn't so stressed.

I hope that helps - I was seriously thinking it was time to PTS but likely all this has helped. Good luck

SentientCushion · 09/08/2017 23:40

I foster for the Cats Protection and we are fit to bursting. This cat will never find a home.

Biscuit
MrsBobDylan · 09/08/2017 23:41

I can't compute how you think your cat could be rehomed? You don't really believe that though do you? What you really mean is 'aibu to get rid of my cat despite the fact that she will never find another home?'

Maryann1975 · 09/08/2017 23:43

Yes, yabu. Your poor cat, there is obviously a problem if your cat is peeing everywhere, which needs to be found and dealt with. If you can not find the cause and you really can't deal with it, the kindest thing may be to have the cat pts. It would be much kinder for you to do this rather than send her to the cats protection where she will live out her last months in a small cage being over looked because people would rather adopt kittens and younger cats.
My young cat sometimes wees where she shouldn't for unknown reasons so I know how utterly frustrating it is, but I wouldn't get rid of her for it.
I agree with the pp who said the baby could be part of the reason for the problem, the cat may be feeling quite pushed out and the stress is causing the peeing problem.

MrsBobDylan · 09/08/2017 23:44

Oh and yes, if you can find someone who's looking for an elderly cat to wee all over their home, by all means, wave her fondly goodbye, onto her great new life.

Passmethecrisps · 09/08/2017 23:46

Poor old beast.

Our ancient cat is struggling and pees, poos and vomits everywhere. It is extremely hard and you have my sympathy. However, you will not rehome her and frankly would be kinder putting her to sleep if you can't find a way of making it work within your home.

We use feliway all over the house and cystophan capsules to treat idiopathic cystitis. We also have two litter trays which are cleaned daily (sometimes more than). These measures have worked well up until very recently so would be worth considering for you if you haven't already done so.

I honestly do sympathise but please don't shut her out if she isn't used to being out all day. Your vet should be able to suggest things which may help.

dailydance · 09/08/2017 23:49

Yabu. I agree with others that she is probably stressed. it would be worthwhile researching how to festers her. Does she still like playing? Do you still give her attention if she wants it?

Pets get old. Pets can get pissy. She will be pts because she is too old to be rehomed. I had a cat who at 18 got dementia. She lasted another 3 years. We pretty much babied her (she developed different cries for what she wanted or when she was confused / got lost in the house). She had pissy accidents too. It didn't cross our minds to rehome or pts (until she needed to be 😢) How on earth can you have a pet and not take responsibility for it for its entire life???!! She's a part of your family and you are all she knows. I don't understand how people can't be there for their pets when they need their humans the most, after years of companionship.

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