To think he should contribute?

[sayerville]

We are going on a family holiday this week, we have paid for DD and BF as her 21st birthday present, this holiday was £1500 each so a big one and I used a lump sum I had to pay for the 4 of us. DD asked if they could contribute, we said yes that would be nice so we agreed on £300 each. I felt mean as DD is now an overdrawn student and as it was her birthday said I didn't want anything but to pay for your own extras from hereon. I am still waiting for BF contribution, his situation is different in that he is working - OK not a big salary and initially back in June sent £1 to my bank account to make sure it was the right one, so far nothing else, I am being mean here or should he contribute?

Did he agree to pay, or was it just you and DD thinking it was a good idea? I wouldn't expect an invited guest to pay anything and think you're U in taking any money off either of them.

How is it a family holiday when the other adult isn't contributing? I take it BF means Boyfriend?

Yes it was agreed, I'm not expecting anything now I just wondered if I was been mean...

Family holiday as in there are 8 of us travelling , and yes BF is boyfriend

OP, I know he 'agreed', but was he railroaded into it?
But, yes, I think it's mean to take any money when you've offered them a gift.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. It's only correct that they give a contribution. Excuse my ignorance but what/where is Hereon BTW?

Cheers,
M.JD

No not railroaded at all, they both offered, the other family party think I am mad for paying for his ticket at all...

Hereon.....should be a space as in 'from here on'

I'm confused who is going on this holiday? There are 8 of you, yes? Who are they?

We are going on a family holiday this week, we have paid for DD and BF as her 21st birthday present

I presume if you are paying for DD and her BF as a birthday present, they are different people to the ones who have offered £300 each?

Ah. apologies.

Cheers,
M.JD

Apologies....
2 x 4 family units, myself DH, DD and her BF plus another family unit travelling with us.

Who is paying £300 each?

We agrees on booking that both DD and BF would contribute £300 as they actually wanted to, but as stated earlier DD now has student overdraft but BF is a working....hope this clarifies I don't seem to be very clear, apologies

I'm confused... you paid for it as a gift for DD's 21st birthday but then changed your mind and asked them to pay almost half?

Read the OP! It's costing £1500 per person, it's not unreasonable to ask grown adults to pay £300 of that in order to go!
NU at all sayerville give him a prompt.

If you have paid for them as a 21st birthday present for your daughter but are now expecting them to pay £300 each, I'd say that was really shit of you.

bringmewine at last! Thank you a person who actually reads the post!'

rollon is you read above you'll see I have never asked for anything, they both offered....

God I don't know why my folk are struggling to understand what's going on...

Perhaps when you said to your daughter that you didn't want anything from her she took it to mean from her bf also?

Bloody hell, what's wrong with people's reading today?!

OP, just say to your daughter, "Oh can you ask your BF to transfer that money, please?"

You could tell her that she could pay hers when she's out of debt, if you wanted to.

He might be working but he might be more crap with money! Did you ask for it to be paid by a certain time?

Potentially the 21 year old BF is less excited about going away with his girlfriends mum and dad and another family than he pretended to be in front of you....

I think OP means £300 each but has now waved her DD's as part of her birthday present

It could be yore daughter Misunderstood and thhoivht you meant both her and her boyfriend not to pay anything and just to pay for extras??

Maybe he has but his situation is different, this is why I'm not going to ask him for it, if he wants to contribute that would be great as I can see us buying them plenty whilst we are there so it's going to cost us in drinks/meals etc and it would really help but it's not something I want to raise, especially as we didn't actually ask for anything in the first place.
I just wondered if anyone out there thinks that he should be contributing given his situation.

Maybe he has but his situation is different, this is why I'm not going to ask him for it, if he wants to contribute that would be great as I can see us buying them plenty whilst we are there so it's going to cost us in drinks/meals etc and it would really help but it's not something I want to raise, especially as we didn't actually ask for anything in the first place.
I just wondered if anyone out there thinks that he should be contributing given his situation.

Fingers go to keyboard before brain engages I think.

All pyts were agreed n booking and they were happy with that. Speak to DD and ask her what the sitch is and how to approach it - he clearly knows he needs to pay or it and has the means to do so.

You are daft to change your mind about her contribution - I would have got her contribution but later on worked out a way of letting her have it back either by doing big shop before start of term, book vouchers or deposits on things