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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think women aren't 'birds'?

93 replies

Collidascope · 07/08/2017 11:22

Plumber arrived about half an hour ago. Was just making a cup of tea for him and then hear him on the phone to his mate, asking, "What bird is it? Is it that Lisa bird? On Saturday night?" Then proceeds to talk about how he doesn't like a particular TV programme but "you have to watch it if you've got a bird." And lots more high quality "banter".
AIBU to want to spit in his tea? Not to actually do it, but to want to?

OP posts:
formerbabe · 08/08/2017 14:50

It doesn't bother me. Lots of men is London/Essex call women "birds". It's a colloquialism.

Arealhumanbeing · 08/08/2017 14:53

Sexist: relating to or characterized by prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination on the basis of sex.

Bird is only used in reference to women. So on the basis of sex. Also often used towards women in a reductive, derogatory way.

The OP didn't post about a man being referred to as bloke or any other desperate and imaginary reversal.

She posted about some arsehole standing in her house subjecting her to his moronic telephone conversation.

Also her question was 'AIBU to think women are not birds'?

They're not. She is not being unreasonable.

monkeysee100 · 08/08/2017 14:54

'Piece' is one of the worst. My father was a huge offender for that!

Arealhumanbeing · 08/08/2017 14:56

It is purely based on sex, so sexIST so by that definition the words man, woman, girl, boy must be sexist then as they are based on sex.

Those words aren't derogatory or used to insult Men, women, boys or girls. They just refer to the individual's sex itself.

Also, are you fucking serious? Grin

Hapaxlegomenon · 08/08/2017 14:58

It's never occurred to me before now to think of bird as sexist. I can see why others think it is, but personally I feel comfortable when people call me love, or doll etc. Mostly it's women actually, but I don't mind if it's men either as long as they're not also combining it with some other behaviour I don't like. Soon we'll have nothing left to call each other!

Hapaxlegomenon · 08/08/2017 15:00

What is the opinion on 'lass' just out of interest?

noeffingidea · 08/08/2017 15:07

arealhumanbeing yeah I am serious actually. I don't consider the word bird derogatory at all. It's in normal usage where I live, part of British working class culture, as is the use of other words - such as love, mate, etc.
What I do find derogatory is the attitude of a previous poster who said 'your community must be dimwitted then' because it's used in that community.

Arealhumanbeing · 08/08/2017 15:20

noeffingidea

I didn't mean are you serious about being comfortable with the word 'bird'. You clearly are.

It was more your attempt at an extremely tenuous link between 'bird' and man, woman, girl, boy.

It's different to 'love' and 'mate' and it doesn't exactly scream intelligence.

DopeyDazy · 08/08/2017 15:26

Reminds me to watch my dvds of Budgie again

Original poster
Collidascope · 08/08/2017 15:36

For clarity, it's not just the use of 'bird' which pissed me off (although that is a pet hate) or the fact that he was having this conversation while I was paying him to do work in my house.
It was the bit where he said he didn't like a TV programme but 'you have to watch it if you've got a bird'. It's lazy stereotyping. It wasn't "my girlfriend makes me watch this". The implication was that the woman is interchangeable really. They all love this type of programme and they'll all insist you watch it with them. Birds: they're just all the same and like the same stuff.

OP posts:
Davros · 08/08/2017 15:44

Maybe your plumber is just a knobhead then. But the word "bird" is regional slang, mostly Southeast I would say, no different to "bloke". Maybe those from other areas find it less acceptable because it's not part of their regional slang?

Out2pasture · 08/08/2017 15:47

I totally think it's adorable. But then I'm almost 60 and as long as they don't call me ma'am I'm fine.

NewDaddie · 08/08/2017 15:56

So it's fine to be sexist but not racist? Attitudes from the 1970s are tickets-boo with regards to women but not ethnic minorities?

You know that's absolute bullshit

No that comment is bullshit. Bird is not equivalent to n####r or p##i there is no ambiguity with those derogatory words and for good reason.

Borodin · 08/08/2017 16:12

Goodness. I thought that had died with The Beatles!

The problem is that men who try to be polite and inoffensive are running short of choices these days. In the second person I use "love" or "dear" in shops in an attempt to be friendly, and women often refer to me in the same way. If I was dealing with a man in the same situation I wouldn't use anything other than "you", unless they were being exceptionally pally when I might use "mate".

What would women prefer to be called to their face? Even if they were wearing a tag with their name on it I would hesitate to use it as it's not necessarily an invitation to do so.

Davros · 08/08/2017 16:23

Bird isn't usually used to address someone direct, but to refer to someone

Borodin · 08/08/2017 16:47

livalot

That was really a response to He's called me 'love' several times as well. I guess it's a little OT.

Borodin · 08/08/2017 16:50

Sorry, that should have been to Davros, not livalot.

MaisyPops · 08/08/2017 16:55

I have even been known to use the term "bird" to refer to women because where I live it is nothing more than another way of referring to a woman, most commonly in reference to someone's girlfriend, it's not meant in any kind of derogatory or negative way
Pretty much. Just like you have lads and fellas you have lasses and birds (though we use lass more than bird).
love/honey/hun/dear/darling/chick/hen/duck/lovely/sweetheart are normal expressions in my area. They're just nice friendly terms.

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