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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think women aren't 'birds'?

93 replies

Collidascope · 07/08/2017 11:22

Plumber arrived about half an hour ago. Was just making a cup of tea for him and then hear him on the phone to his mate, asking, "What bird is it? Is it that Lisa bird? On Saturday night?" Then proceeds to talk about how he doesn't like a particular TV programme but "you have to watch it if you've got a bird." And lots more high quality "banter".
AIBU to want to spit in his tea? Not to actually do it, but to want to?

OP posts:
NipInTheAir · 07/08/2017 15:21

I think that's the point I was trying to make. He was using the term with his contemporaries. If he'd used it with the op he'd possibly be wrong.

My builders (and I'm about to start my third major redevelopment project) call me Mrs Air and I say do call me Nip. What I don't understand is why HCP's highly trained graduate professionals don't have that level of courtesy? Give me the builders any time actually - we usually have a laugh.

RiverTam · 07/08/2017 15:22

Casual sexism is rife. Doesn't make it right, ever - the fact that you're a woman doesn't change that, just makes it more depressing. Is it wrong to think that there are places still using terms that should have been consigned to the dustbin of social history years ago - and thankfully in many places have - and that that's not a great state of affairs?

Northernparent68 · 07/08/2017 15:23

He was talking to a mate not you. If you do nt like what he says on the phone, do nt listen to his conversations

TheNaze73 · 07/08/2017 15:40

I don't like ther term but, don't see it as being sexist.

VestalVirgin · 07/08/2017 18:20

YANBU, women are not birds, neither chicks nor hens, and I hate all the words that imply such.

I tolerate the equivalent of "love" or "darling" if it comes from other women, as for some women, that's just how they communicate, and they probably wouldn't mind being called the same by me (not that I ever would).

With men, well, I don't think they want to be called "love" or "darling" by other men, or even by older women, so I don't tolerate it.
(Would if it was regional use and really done with everyone, but so far haven't ever seen anyone do it to a man)

VestalVirgin · 07/08/2017 18:22

If you do nt like what he says on the phone, do nt listen to his conversations

Not listening to his conversations, which he conducts in her range of hearing, won't make him the least bit sexist.

And having to endure a sexist male in one's home just isn't fun.

VestalVirgin · 07/08/2017 18:22

Won't make him any less sexist, I mean. He is who he is, whether she witnesses it or not.

FrancesHaHa · 07/08/2017 18:27

I don't see how reducing a woman to the status of animal couldn't be sexist really.

I was listening to Russell Brand's podcast about feminism the other day, and even he's decided to stop calling women birds and chicks.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 07/08/2017 18:35

He was talking to a mate not you. If you do nt like what he says on the phone, do nt listen to his conversations

Or he could conduct his private, non - work related conversations in his own time ( ie not the time he is being paid to work) and space (ie not the OP's house)?

YANBU OP.

Farmerswife4life1984 · 07/08/2017 18:36

Doesn't bother me at all ? It's just a word . I cud my give a shit if some bloke called me a bird

pieceofpurplesky · 07/08/2017 19:10

Doesn't bother me at all. My mum and dad call everyone love because they are elderly and northern not sexists. Same for chick, duck, mate .... just friendly and regional terms

UtterlyFcked · 07/08/2017 19:25

As a woman I now feel quite bad for calling people bird ShockGrin in fairness I say it to both men and women...

noeffingidea · 08/08/2017 07:12

RiverTam it depresses you maybe. You don't speak for all of us though.

noeffingidea · 08/08/2017 07:14

vestalvirgin men do sometimes call each other 'love' in some parts of the country. Think Yorkshire and Birmingham are examples.

Thephoneywar · 08/08/2017 08:06

Don't we go on hen nights before we get married.

What's a hen then?

Ellieboolou27 · 08/08/2017 12:12

Good point thephoney and stag do's
What should we now call them to avoid risk of offence?

DopeyDazy · 08/08/2017 13:05

Bird is lots better than ho or bitch

Whiterabbitears · 08/08/2017 13:19

@melj1213 I! From the SW and I work with a northern girl who is always calling me lovey, pet, chick etc and I really like it Smile she sounds warm and friendly and I don't see a problem with it. I think its really harsh to say your community is 'dim witted' bloody hell!

I think the term bird is outdated but I can't say it offends me either. I've heard some young men referring to girls and women as ' hoes' and bitches, now that is sexist and derogatory.

RottenTomatoes959 · 08/08/2017 14:08

I'm in dublin where literally every female is referred to as "bird" or "mot". I'd take being called bird over mot any day of the week.

DeannaTroika · 08/08/2017 14:23

I'm in dublin where literally every female is referred to as "bird" or "mot

I don't know what circles you move in but those are not normal things to be called in Dublin!

farfarawayfromhome · 08/08/2017 14:24

all my girlfriends in my close circle call one another bird, have for years!

Arealhumanbeing · 08/08/2017 14:30

DonaldStott

I think it's because - rightly or wrongly - I don't see it as sexist.

"See it" however you like. It is purely based on sex, so sexIST.

melj1213 · 08/08/2017 14:37

"See it" however you like. It is purely based on sex, so sexIST.

Sexist: relating to or characterized by prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination on the basis of sex.

How is calling someone a bird sexist if it is not used in a prejudicial, discriminatory or derogatory way?

I use it and I don't see it is as sexist as it's just another way to refer to a woman, much like "bloke", "guy", "lad" etc are used to refer to a man. If it is used in a derogatory way then yes it can be sexist, but that is down to the context it is used in, not the word itself.

Davros · 08/08/2017 14:41

In my vocabulary a man is referred to as a bloke or mate or matey boy and a woman as a bird. There's nothing derogatory or sexist about any of them.

noeffingidea · 08/08/2017 14:49

It is purely based on sex, so sexIST so by that definition the words man, woman, girl, boy must be sexist then as they are based on sex.
I don't see how reducing women to the status of animal couldn't be sexist really. I call my son 'bunny' and my 'pink piglet' - guess I'm being sexist then. We use animal names as metaphors all the time. They're not actually meant to be taken that literally.