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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To move house because of my neighbours?

65 replies

Funnyface1 · 05/08/2017 14:01

We've lived in our current house for a little under 2 years. It's me, dh, ds6 and dd11 months. We've spent some money on it since that time, decorating and doing up the garden. We really like the house but are never really happy because of our neighbours.

I don't want to get into the specifics too much but was hoping to hear from people who moved because of the neighbours. Was it worth it? Did you resent it because of the cost? Should I stick it out, better the devil you know?

I'm going to ring the bank on Monday to ask about porting the mortgage over.

OP posts:
BumWad · 05/08/2017 14:03

Yea I would move

My neighbours annoy the fuck out of me too. We've only been here 3 years, will defo be selling up next year

Although the neighbour problem isn't the only reason we want to move

10greenapples · 05/08/2017 14:08

Yes I did, was the best decision ever!! Don't regret never seeing their faces again. My new place no one talks to anyone but honestly I prefer it like that!

Mulberry72 · 05/08/2017 14:14

Yes, we moved specifically because of our vile neighbours. We moved from a beautiful house that we own outright to a not so nice rented property and it was the best thing we ever did.

We are just biding our time til the horrible fuckers move on or preferably die and then we'll move back. We put up with 8 years of their shit.

Original poster
Funnyface1 · 05/08/2017 14:17

Thank you for the replies so far, I definitely think we're going to do it if we can. I'm fixed into this mortgage until late next year so it's if they'll let us port it over.

I just resent having to move on sooner than we had planned but I suppose that's my problem to get over. It will be worth it really.

OP posts:
PhuntSox · 05/08/2017 14:19

I would stick it out a bit longer, try and make it past three years. I would tell everyone you are moving for schools. Actually, could that be another reason to move? Could you also upgrade a bit as well, another good reason. If you have a couple of other reasons you wouldn't feel so resentful.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 05/08/2017 14:30

There's no guarantee you'll get nicer neighbours when you move.

wordy17 · 05/08/2017 14:34

I would definitely move. I don't think people understand the special hell of vile neighbours until it happens to them. I had to leave a lovely ground floor flat with a gorgeous big garden because of my disgusting neighbour. My DH says I need to stop being angry with my ex neighbour, for my own sanity.
I think it is a very good idea to check out the neighbours of any potential new place, very carefully indeed. Bad neighbours ruin one's life.

Smeaton · 05/08/2017 14:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LowGravity · 05/08/2017 14:36

I moved 3 times in 2 years because of nightmare neighbours. I was renting though so not too costly. I finally found somewhere with normal neighbours who keep normal hours and I've been here 7 years now, it's been bliss in comparison to my previous properties. Saying that, neighbours on one side moved out yesterday after selling the home they've lived in for 30 years so we'll see!

another20 · 05/08/2017 14:37

I think it is a very good idea to check out the neighbours of any potential new place, very carefully indeed.

wordy how did you do this, specifically, on your move?

morningconstitutional2017 · 05/08/2017 14:41

I've moved house several times but not because of the neighbours. Lovely neighbours can never be guaranteed though.

If a prospective buyer looked round your house and asked, "What are the neighbours like?" would you be able to answer honestly and tactfully without either jeopardising the sale or being misleading? It could come back to bite you.

Original poster
Funnyface1 · 05/08/2017 14:42

It would be an upgrade yes as we have more money to put down now, but it stills narks me that we're essentially moving because we want peace, not because of the actual house.

I plan to buy something with more privacy than my current house offers and I also feel like I want to fling myself at potential new neighbours to check them out! I can't do that can i!?

OP posts:
Neutrogena · 05/08/2017 14:46

Of course you can approach the neighbours before buying a house.
You can approach with the ruse that "We are thinking about buying the house next door. What's the area/traffic/council like?"

Then see if you think they are ok or to stay away from.

thepumpk1neater · 05/08/2017 14:49

We did many years ago. Noise problems. If you can possibly buy detached then do.

thepumpk1neater · 05/08/2017 14:50

I know how you feel, wordy! Flowers

YourHandInMyHand · 05/08/2017 14:53

I've moved to get away from awful neighbours before and it was well worth it.

I've also had random people knock on my door under the guise of asking about the area, I don't blame them and answered nicely.

Nightmare neighbours are awful! If you can afford to do it then do.

WhoreOfBabyliss · 05/08/2017 14:53

It's really difficult to find out the truth about neighbours. No one is going to tell the truth are they? My NDN here is a total bastard in that he sees women as objects and does exactly as he pleases without thought for anyone else - ever but......the issues are mostly personal to me probably and if I was to sell and someone asked I would say he is OK. I haven't spoken to him for 6 years as he is so rude to women, not just me. My DH occasionally speaks to him. Luckily we are on a fairly large plot and so is he so it is feasible to live next to him but almost never see him. How do you find out the truth about neighbours?

Original poster
Funnyface1 · 05/08/2017 14:55

Neutrogena, brilliant idea. I really want to find out if they'll let us move the mortgage now because I'm starting to get excited by the idea of moving. In theory I don't see why they wouldn't let us. We won't be asking to borrow more.

OP posts:
ElsieMc · 05/08/2017 15:01

There is nothing like the relief of getting away from nightmare neighbours. We once had absolutely terrible ones and we examined our own behaviour to see if there was anything we had possibly done to them for them to behave like they did. Their previous ndn's had similar problems and the last ones moved near to me. She asked me how on earth I got on with them and that she had blamed herself for having her children. I reassured her that the nfh had two absolutely psychotic teenage boys when we lived there, who had absolutely no boundaries at all so blaming herself for her well mannered children was as silly as me staying angry years later.

I moved to rented, which was also a bit noisy, but you are not tied to the house are you. Always try and buy detached if possible. When you see a gorgeous semi you are tempted by, remind yourself of how awful your other neighbours were and walk away sharpish.

Maelstrop · 05/08/2017 15:01

We had to move out of our first ever flat. The upstairs neighbour was a violent druggie. We declared everything to the estate agent/buyer who didn't seem to care, despite wanting to move in himself. Odd. It was horrific, but it worked out that we got a much better place a lot earlier than we had anticipated.

Definitely get the agent to ask the vendors directly about the neighbours. It is unlawful not to declare disputes, but I have found to my cost that people have sold up without mentioning problems. I don't know if you can get away with not mentioning problems: if the buyers encounter issues, I think they can sue if you didn't declare something, although I suppose they could just deny all knowledge.

pigsDOfly · 05/08/2017 15:03

Also sold a house I'd lived in for less than 3 years because of noisy students next door. I'd decorated the house from top to bottom. It's was going to be my last ever home - retired there - but being woken 3 or 4 nights out of every week at approximately 4.20 in the morning by thumping drum and bass when they returned from clubbing, bringing a large crowed of their friends, and trying to get them to realise it wasn't acceptable, was just too much for me.

I had to pay several thousands to get out of the mortgage I had on that house, but believe me, it was worth every penny.

As pp said until you've experienced awful neighbours you cannot imagine how badly it can affect you.

scottishdiem · 05/08/2017 15:07

I think it also depends on what it is that neighbours do to annoy you. Some low level stuff can happen anywhere and moving wont guarantee anything or can even be worse. If you move to a place in the country with fields around you that can help but then if you dont like farm smells or want to complain about them they you have no hope. However, if it has become personal neighbour targeting neighbour sometimes its best to move and get relief.

Mind you, I would probably work hard to "win" that kind of conflict but I totally appreciate that not many would so it really is best to get some physical and mental peace by moving.

OldJoseph · 05/08/2017 15:18

dMum did this, but also moved into a bigger house which she loved. If they are really bad and things are unlikely to change eg noisy kids grow up then I would do it.

loveka · 05/08/2017 15:22

We are moving becsuse of neighbours.

Sadly, the sale has fallen through twice, both right on the day of exchange. I now feel absolutely trapped here as we have only had 3 viewings since the last sale fell through on June 6th.

It looks like we are going to have to sell for a lower price than we had accepted previously. I do feel resentful about that. We are now planning to stay until our fixed mortgage finishes in April, then rent it out.

We have lived here for 18 years, our neighbour from hell has been here 18 months. I feel its so unfair that this has happened to us. But I am on anti depressants due to the neighbour, I am on egg shells all the time so its best to get out. Its a shame because I actually hate my lovely house now.

worridmum · 05/08/2017 15:23

be warned you can sued if you dont inform protentail neigbours of desputes / problems, it is not a buyer beware (where the buyers have to ask you) but a seller must inform situation.