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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To move house because of my neighbours?

65 replies

Funnyface1 · 05/08/2017 14:01

We've lived in our current house for a little under 2 years. It's me, dh, ds6 and dd11 months. We've spent some money on it since that time, decorating and doing up the garden. We really like the house but are never really happy because of our neighbours.

I don't want to get into the specifics too much but was hoping to hear from people who moved because of the neighbours. Was it worth it? Did you resent it because of the cost? Should I stick it out, better the devil you know?

I'm going to ring the bank on Monday to ask about porting the mortgage over.

OP posts:

SolomanDaisy · 05/08/2017 15:23

I think it depends how bad your neighbours are. If they're within the normal neighbour spectrum and you're just on the higher end of intolerant of noise or something, then there may be a high risk of you being annoyed by your new neighbours too. If they're really unreasonable, then you'd be unlucky not to be happier in your new place.

quizqueen · 05/08/2017 15:27

Whenever I view a house I always ask about the neighbours but, even if the present owners think they are great, you can't guarantee they won't move sometime (or die) and are they telling the truth! I also visit any property at different times in the day including early morning evenings, weekends and in the night (and bank holidays if appropriate). Bad and good neighbours can make all the difference to your life so always remember to be a good neighbour yourselves, folks and, if possible, buy or rent a detached property with a private garden or end terrace, if you can't afford that, so least you are only joined on one side.

ChelleDawg2020 · 05/08/2017 15:28

It's a pain in the arse to move, but it's less hassle in the long run than just putting up with bad neighbours. Certainly less hassle than trying to reason with them, because bad neighbours usually don't care or want to stop having a negative impact upon you (all too often they even revel in it!). Remember though that moving is not necessarily a silver bullet - your new neighbours might be just as bad.

I suppose the answer lies with whichever of the following statements you most agree with. "Better the devil you know", or "a change is as good as a rest".

Original poster

Funnyface1 · 05/08/2017 15:28

What counts as a dispute technically? We haven't had anything like an incident and we haven't reported them to anybody for anything. I don't know as there would be much to disclose in an official capacity.

OP posts:

quizqueen · 05/08/2017 15:29

Don't forget to look at the neighbours' property backing onto to your garden too. People often forget about them!

GhostofFrankGrimes · 05/08/2017 15:31

We are looking to move because of shit neighbours. Haven't been here long but it really is no fun. Seems to be such a widespread problem.

BlueUggs · 05/08/2017 15:35

Oh yes, I stuck 14 months of constant loud music, threats, abuse, horse shit being packed round the garage lock (a t bar thing on the floor), vandalism to one car and the other one torched (on cctv so I know it was them) and then moved. It was SO worth it.

ohhereweareagain · 05/08/2017 15:35

Out of curiosity aren't you legally obliged to mention the neighbour situation especially if you have sought out previous official help/made complaints. I am a paranoid individual and when moving would make a legal point of asking sellers if they had any problems with neighbours as I would want the option to make a choice.

loveka · 05/08/2017 15:45

We disclosed our neighbour issue to both of the buyers of our house., but in a dispassionate way. We stated the facts of what happened, not that I am on anti depressants because of the bullying.

As we have to stay until April now, we put a tall fence between our gardens, all on our side and totally legal. He has kicked off about it (wants a nice view of our garden !!!) so we will have to declare that too. But I couldnt have stayed here without the fence up as I couldnt bear seeing the person who has subjected me to this hell every time I go in the garden.

RandomMess · 05/08/2017 15:59

We stayed in properties we'd outgrown because our neighbours were decent rather than risk moving!

Huge impact on your life so I would move if you can.

loveka · 05/08/2017 16:02

Oh, and in a property we once bought we discovered that there had been previous neighbour disputes, even an ASBO issued, which was not declared to us.

We were advised that it would cost so much to persue that it wasnt worth it as it would cost us loads in legal fees tgat there was no guarantee we would ever get back. You can't win.

cece · 05/08/2017 16:28

We did and don't regret it for a second. Life is too short to put up withcrap. In fact, we bought out new house in a much nicer area and we love it here. Without the push we wouldn't have moved probably!

KatieHaslam22 · 05/08/2017 16:43

Can't stand my cow of a neighbour, she is one of the most two faced vile people I have ever met. Nice as pie to my face and then rings the POLICE accusing me of smoking drugs when I'm not even at home! I was at work the other day and got a call from my estate agent asking if I was smoking cannabis! I had been at work since 10.30 the night before! No idea where this random accusation has come from but it certainly is NOT coming from my house. Which I would have though was evident due to the fact that I wasn't even in the house that day at all. I also don't even smoke anymore I used to but quit a couple of years ago and I now vape if I feel the need. I haven't smoked since I lived in this property and I am suspicious that she wants my peoperty instead of hers as the garden is much larger and I'm an end house, my garden also gets sun all day and my lawn is immaculate even if I do say so myself! Either way she is just stupid and making herself look ridiculous which I'm sure is the case with you neighbours.

But to answer simply, yes definitely I can't wait until I have the deposit I need for a mortgage so I can move! Preferably to the middle of nowhere where I don't have neighbours. I live semi rurally anyway so won't have to move far to get some privacy/not noisy/away from annoying c u next tuesday's!!
Although the main reason is due to my insomnia and I find the best time to clean is that period at night and I can't hoover/put the washing machine on during the night as they complain (which I understand obviously and stopped doing these chores during the night once I realised it was causing upset)

CSLG · 05/08/2017 16:47

Another move if you can afford it - i have done and would move again - but I love moving :-)

ChocolateRicecake · 05/08/2017 16:48

We didn't move because of neighbours, but I was very aware that one side were lovely while the other side had potential to become awful. Twinned with my parents having a horrific few years from neighbours who turned nasty overnight (through greed), the number of shared boundaries/type of house was high in my mind when we moved: You can find the perfect neighbours, but you never know how long they'll be around.

I think it's awful that is how things are, but there we are.

Original poster

Funnyface1 · 05/08/2017 19:09

Thanks for all the replies. It's a shame so many people have to deal with crap neighbours. We have decided definitely to move if we're able to port the mortgage over. I will ring on Monday to enquire, then get the ball rolling. Can't wait now.

OP posts:

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 05/08/2017 21:50

I just feel sorry for the poor fuckers you are palming these shitty neighbours off on...

MrsChopper · 05/08/2017 21:54

We did and it was the best decision. We have still ended up with weird neighbours but haven't had any bother!

I know someone who went to the trouble of moving, only to find their nightmare neighbours moved not long after! And they wished they had stayed in their old house.

crazywriter · 05/08/2017 21:58

We once moved because of neighbours and other people on the street. Had our car vandalised three times in the space of 1 month while I was pregnant with DD1. The neighbour kept complaining that all we did was cut the grass and didn't plant flowers to make it look nice. 1. We rented, 2. Neither of us are interested in gardening 3. I had a dangerous pregnancy that meant I was in and out of hospital for the last 2 months of it. Gardening excpet the basics to maintain it was all that was important for us. Told him he could do it if he really wanted but it wouldn't shut him up.

Our lease was coming up for renewal though. Decided not to raise Dd1 in the area and definitely don't regret the move. We moved into an area with lovely neighbours and made some great friends.

TamaleHot · 05/08/2017 22:54

It is really stressful and mentally draining to live alongside neighbours who are bullies and verbally abusive. The police cannot do anything and if you disclose any effect it's having on your mental health, the blame will be turned on you and they'll use your mental illness as a weapon against you for further bullying. Move if you can.

twoheaped · 05/08/2017 23:07

We did.
The neighbouring house was owned by a family who moved abroad to work.
They rented it out to a very noisy family. During Ramadan, the late teens lad would leave the house at about 2am with a loud, house shaking slam of the front door. He would do the same upon returning 2 hours later.
The broken sleep for a month exhausted me and I ended up quite weepy at times.
The absolute final straw was Christmas Eve when one of them was sat in the car in the front garden, engine running , chatting on her extremely loud Bluetooth from 10pm until 3:45am.
We now live with nearest neighbours about a quarter of a mile away. Bliss.

chocolatemademefat · 06/08/2017 00:57

We had lovely neighbours - lovely to the point of being smothering. They would watch for us coming home from work every night and tell us they had coffee on for us. Every single night. If we tried to do anything to our garden out they would come armed with tools and plants we didn't want - then the husband would set up a barbecue and we were there until past midnight because they just LOVED to talk. I know there's no comparison with them and horrible neighbours but they really stressed me out. We had to get away from them before we had children or our lives would never have been our own.

tyber1234 · 14/02/2019 20:34

We have lived next to travelers for 7 years now. We have had to deal with their dam right horrible coming and goings. Noisy. DIY at stupid hours. Screaming and swearing . Smell of dog mess wafting into our garden. Floodlights aimed at our room. You name it they have done it.. we have a beautiful home and have done so much. We live in a small cul de sac. Which they trash.
We’ve had the offer of a house swap to another location. But now I’m so scared of what is to come.
Living here has made me anxious and I hate being here.
The big question is this do I go. The new house is not perfect and does not have easy parking but I pray it will be a better environment for us.

The old gypos are going nowhere

Hodgehegg · 14/02/2019 20:56

Oh God yes move OP. I could have written your post 18 months ago. We were in hell, now we're free and every day feels amazing. It's a long and stressful process trying to move but so worth it. I wish you the very best of luck. You deserve a home you look forward to being in.

Spudulike3 · 14/02/2019 21:08

Quick tip for anyone wanting to find out about potential neighbours. Search planning applications in the area and with our council at least you can see peoples responses on the Web-site. This way you can if anyone has left a mad rant in green crayon and avoid!

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