Not to post these juicy threads

[Neoflex]

So in my head I have around 3 threads a week which I consider posting. Then I go through the imaginary responses in my head and realise I will either get roasted, need to post a novel full of revealing details or get accused of drip feeding, and will most likely end up on the daily lies. Usually by this time I have figured out a solution that I think most mumsnetters would be proud of (naturally having ruffled a few feathers). Here are my juicy imaginary threads from this week.

Not a wedding singer: how do I tell bff I won't be doing a solo in the church as she walks down the aisle

Friend is cheating on her dh after he put her through art college: should I tell her she's a selfish witch?

Dh is an environment lover who sneakily fills up our cleaning products with eco-friendly versions even though I have told him I will only accept Cillit Bang. Who is bu?

What is your unposted juice from this week?

Has she calmed down now Audrina ? My DD was 'challenging' , a lot of people would have said I was too soft on her but it was complicated and not just a case of 'being firm'.

I've been wanting to post this for a while...

Why do brilliant threads turn into utter cringeworthy toss when posters start flooding them with songs, poems and general spam? I'm all for getting involved and showing support, but topics spanning 9 threads? With about 6 OP posts in each...

Mine would be true
AIBU to have spent the afternoon eating chocolate and watching the athletics ...

I thought about starting a thread asking the sorts of threads people had thought about starting but hadn't . But I didn't. Then I did once (under another name). Didn't get many responses so I decided that I shouldn't have started the thread asking for the threads people thought about starting but didn't.

Does that make sense?

I've just had my hair coloured gray, as in the "granny hair" trend. It's beautiful, I love how good it turned out to be.

I though about posting at the proper forum, including photographs, but thankfully the urge is gone.

Hmm that star was supposed to be a grin face. Stupid android app!

And I have often wanted to start a thread asking if IABU to really hate the fact that our street is constantly crawling with kids playing football and y'know generally just playing the way kids do, right outside our house until 8pm most fine evenings until they mercifully go in. Don't as I know I'll get flamed for being an anti social misanthrope and told to move house. They'd probably be right too... pesky kids.

I have a few but people would think I was a troll 😂
I always want to explain to people that young mums aren't a 'disgrace' and 'embarrassing' etc. It makes me so angry but it's honestly not worth the fight as I doubt I'd be able to change anyone's opinion.

That would actually be a good thread NeverKnowing hate young mums getting bashed and people asking 'when is acceptable to have a baby' when you're ready not everyone friggin else

After talking to DD tonight I want to start a thread about how excited I am about her starting school next week (yeah summer is over here already :( ) but she's scared and I feel bad for feeling excited when she's scared but that's not really much point to it, just want to talk to people about her starting school but that's not interesting for anyone else of course.

I was tidying my house last week in preparation for potential buyers to come and view it. We have these awful feather pillows that I bought in a sale a few years ago, that leave white feathers everywhere. As I was cleaning up the feathers, I thought about leaving just one as some people, including a very close friend of mine, think white feathers are a sign from a guardian angel. I thought they might think it was a sign to buy the house. I considered starting an AIBU but realised that I was BU and hoovered up the lot!

Also AIBU? Anyone who takes a normal margarita pizza and adds cheddar and Red Leicester then describes it as a cheese feast should be shot. With bullets made from cheese.

The only reason I was asked told to sing was because I am bilingual and the chosen song was in a language the other guests would have struggled with. It was much better to listen to a non native crucify the song than have to sing it myself

La Bamba!

I've just got back from a horrible holiday with in-laws. I feel emotionally drained and a little traumatised by the whole experience, but I think I might need something more hand holdy / supportive, rather than AIBU (no offence - I love AIBU), so I haven't posted.

Decaffstilltastesweird

So as we are on AIBU I think you are unreasonable and insensitive and you will be a mil one day so you need to think! Cow.

There you've been abused and you haven't actually posted the details.

Mousse

That actually made me chortle out loud. Thanks, I feel like I've been cleansed after a mini AIBU roasting .

I write imaginary posts constantly about my difficult sister. But she also has a lot of good points so then I don't.

Was tempted to ask if IWBU about my BIL (We went for a walk last time I visited; He is enormous and was wearing board shorts and a t shirt with a gap for the belly and I was horrified when I realised people thought he was my DH) however actually I know IABU and very shallow (despite my own weight problem!)...

madcapcat I think you can separate out the weight problem and the inappropriate clothing problem. Some of the most stylish people I know are obese but always look immaculate and well groomed. You weren't embarrassed by his size, but his poor clothing choices.

I see this thing where obese men have a t-shirt that seemingly fits them but their belly hangs out of the bottom from time to time, I wonder if they simply don't realise?