Not to post these juicy threads

[Neoflex]

So in my head I have around 3 threads a week which I consider posting. Then I go through the imaginary responses in my head and realise I will either get roasted, need to post a novel full of revealing details or get accused of drip feeding, and will most likely end up on the daily lies. Usually by this time I have figured out a solution that I think most mumsnetters would be proud of (naturally having ruffled a few feathers). Here are my juicy imaginary threads from this week.

Not a wedding singer: how do I tell bff I won't be doing a solo in the church as she walks down the aisle

Friend is cheating on her dh after he put her through art college: should I tell her she's a selfish witch?

Dh is an environment lover who sneakily fills up our cleaning products with eco-friendly versions even though I have told him I will only accept Cillit Bang. Who is bu?

What is your unposted juice from this week?

Shouldn't dh be cleaning with his eco products. Not you Op?

Several times in recent weeks I've been tempted to post a "does he fancy me?" thread but the fear of tempting fate and it all going to shit has deterred me.

For the household tasks we have a split that usually works quite well.
Me: clean bathroom, hoover/mop floors, wash & put away clothes, change bedding
Dh: clean kitchen, do dusting, grocery shopping, admin (bills etc.), care for plants, take out trash, anything that involves the basement, house repairs
Alternating: cleaning fridge, oven, and cooking we take in turns

I have mentioned i would be more than happy for him to take over my jobs and for only green products to be used in the house. That soon shut him up... but he then had this idea he could swap the products and i wouldn't even notice.

Thanks to mumsnet I now internally vocalise "aibu" followed by whatever grievance I have at the time and plan my thread on my head. Used to have internal aruguments instead. Hope that doesn't make me sound batty! Usually stops me having a full blown whinge (usually at my DH/ DC who are driving me potty at the time...)

AIBU To think when people say stupid insensitive shit to you why do you care? Why don't you just think "your stupid and insensitive"?

Yes mousse but what if it is a comment from the MIL? Then surely I am allowed to create my own imaginary thread?

My husband is a nasty stupid drunk. I don't post because I would hear LTB and I'm not quite ready.

Overweight is NOT the same thing as "curvy". C'mon, start hitting me.

Laundry - Splosh - I like the Cotton Flower one. The powder if they still do it.

I talk to myself mostly in my head in acronyms thanks to mumsnet.

I want to post about my family: Father who is difficult but old; brothers who don't speak to him; hypochondriac Sil; strange other sil; judgy sister; chancer sister; golden child niece etc but I know that none of it is fixable and they'll all just shoot the messenger if I try to solve any of it. Is everyone's family a bit dysfunctional in a polite, well meaning way or is it just mine?!

Also desperate want to post about bf who has a dickhead husband but now dickhead husband is depressed so we're all supposed to feel sorry for him. Again, nothing will change and ill be the big, bad wolf if I say anything.

However, might post about passive- aggressive work colleague for effective, MN phrases to have in my arsenal!

I really want to post about how moody my DH is being this week after giving up smoking, but am sure I'll be flamed. In context he has smoked since he was 9 (51 years!) and has gone cold turkey so I'm really proud, but would probably be told to LTB because he is snappy and grumpy. He isn't usually. I am finding this change in personality irritating but understandable.

I do this too! Last night I couldn't sleep and kept framing my problems as AIBU.
I often feel like having a rant about my husband but I know people would tell me to LTB and question why I'm having a second child with him.
AIBU to want a break?
AIBU to have planned a trip around England alone when pregnant and with 2yrold (booked it yesterday evening on cheap tickets and then instantly regreted it!!)
AIBU to not be able to keep up friendships.
AIBU to always be wondering if IABU?

I've been ill the past few days and spending too much time on here.

There was going to be AIBU to not want house stinking of cat pee but DH finally sorted it after I threatened to clean out the litter tray myself (and I'm not supposed to as pregnant).

AIBU to donate my eggs at 26?

AIBU to call my ex a prick?

Cba with the multitude of questions that probably aren't relevant at all to what my OP would be but posters will still ask!

Neoflex I have a Christmas tree in a pot which lives out in the garden for most of the year and then comes to school with me at the beginning of December and then in the house for the Christmas holidays.

I started a thread once, got one response, and felt totally inadequate.
Never again!

I want to post AIBU to think that most of the new threads are written by teenagers, who are currently on holiday from school.

I chuckle at how they try to write in a grown-up way and it actually reads like a good attempt at an English essay, with some obvious mistakes.

I don't want to be accused of troll hunting though. 😁

Has happened to me a few times HazelBite

I was going to start an AIBU to be pissed off with ex asking me to collect him from hospital-(after he wouldn't collect me from hospital after being repatriated having had a life changing accident) but I know I'm not bu, just wanted a rant.

apostropheuse I've thought that about a few threads !

Creme that's the thing with my AIBU about my ex I want to rant and feel like AIBU is the perfect place for it .. most the time

I'm glad I'm not alone Creme Fresh!

My 9 year old dd called me a cunt earlier and is having tantrums that would put a 2 year old to shame. She has also written in marker "no mum" all over her body. She is now sleeping it off. I confiscated her new nike runners that I bought her for holidays next week and am torn between giving them back to her as she was so out of control that I don't think she was able to reign herself in.