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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

... to think MNers are a strange bunch?

309 replies

user1457213512 · 04/08/2017 21:13

Aibu to think that Mumsnet can't be representative of real life, can it?!

A lot of people on here just seem so, I don't know, just... odd. Bizarre. Strange. A lot of people on here just seem to have really outlandish odd opinions that I'm just not sure if I'd ever hear someone have in real life. Posters just seem to pick up on the most unusual things from posts i.e. A poster posts about how they didn't get a house they bid on, and then another poster chimes in saying how they're even lucky to have 5p in savings etc etc (I'm rubbish at examples).

So yes, aibu to think that some (not all) mumsnetters are crazy aliens who I have no idea how they function in the real world?

Ps I like mumsnet and it provides me with a lot of entertainment. The strangeness does not make me want to leave.

OP posts:
NinaMarieP · 05/08/2017 00:26

I read that thread too, Barbara! Amazing how many people thought it was OK to make someone get up to shower at 5 am just because they'd woken up.

HighAlert · 05/08/2017 00:27

All teenage sons are over 6 foot tall at 13 and all teenage daughters are stunning.

SaveMeBarry · 05/08/2017 00:37

I love to hate the hyperbole from some posters. They're never just annoyed or irritated they're utterly, utterly appalled and deeply offended, often literally shaking as a result. No one is just rude, they're unspeakably rude. People aren't mean, they're utterly vile human beings Hmm

I think of them as the Utterly Nutterlys. They especially enjoy composing letters, emails or texts on behalf of the Op (no need to even ask for their assistance as they'll kindly just appear on the thread and do it off their own bat) . If it could be said in ten words they'll use 45! Then another Nutterly will come along and "improve" the first draft and before long you feel like you're reading a High Court judgement. Meanwhile the poor Op is thinking "fucking hell, I can't send that to my nan, all she did was give the kids white sliced instead of granary... Shock"

x2boys · 05/08/2017 00:41

The professionally offended do my head in and an awful lot of people go no contact with family we don't see dh family for various reasons but we don't call it no contact we just don't see them.

Shankarankalina · 05/08/2017 00:56

The quizzing of the most minute and irrelevant details:

Aibu to be mad the other mum didn't get napkins to wipe her sons's carrot puke off my new jeans?
Yabu to wear new jeans. I've had my Per Una jeans since 1991 and they are still perfect.

Aibu as a SAHM to get a dishwasher now that I'm expecting triplets after the two sets of twins and my DH works abroad?
Yabu to not have a job outside the home. Why exactly are you not working?

Motoko · 05/08/2017 01:14

Oh, what about the ones who say "I'm shaking with rage for you OP". Ok, some of the things people post about do make me a bit angry, but only in my head, as there's nothing I can do about the situation, other than maybe offer some advice.

I've also noticed people suggesting the OP gets a nanny, when they have childcare problems, as if that's a viable option for everyone. Nannies cost a fortune.

inkzooka · 05/08/2017 01:18

I saw someone posting about being sad about a song once.

"Shouldn't you be sad about the DYING CHILDREN like CHARLIE GARD?"

Sorry, I didn't realise we could only be sad about one thing at once ever!

Birdsgottaf1y · 05/08/2017 01:20

""an awful lot of people go no contact with family we don't see dh family for various reasons but we don't call it no contact we just don't see them.""

We (me and my Adult children) are no contact with one branch of the family. Your way works with some of them, but to others we had to spell it out. They would seek us out, quiz people and stalk us on FB etc.

Birdsgottaf1y · 05/08/2017 01:24

However i've never known anyone in RL who need weeks alone to bond with their baby, excluding all others from visiting.

Or who are too scared or insular to not answer the phone/door etc.

And everyone I know likes a Wedding etc invitation and are happy to give money.

The lack of ability to understand that people live different lives that are all valid eg not going to Uni/having a baby under 30/being happy in a job etc, is astounding.

nokidshere · 05/08/2017 01:32

All teenage sons are over 6 foot tall at 13 and all teenage daughters are stunning

Makes note to self to make sure I change the heights of my 6ft7 husband and way over 6ft tall teenage sons when talking about them Shock

Thank goodness I don't have a daughter Grin but if I did I'm sure she would be stunning Wink

oldlaundbooth · 05/08/2017 01:52

Best topics are:

'My husband is friends with a 21 year old girl at work who is also a part time underwear model. He's going away to do his hobby for the weekend with her, but it's just a platonic friendship. AIBU to be worried?'

Shopping lists - decipher and discuss. Fucking classic.

Ghosts /spooky stories.

I hate driving /parking ones. I do like the weather ones too, who knew?!

LOVE some of the diagrams though!

oldlaundbooth · 05/08/2017 01:54

'we don't see dh family for various reasons but we don't call it no contact we just don't see them'

That's cos you're a Northerner, x2boys Grin

KeepServingTheDrinks · 05/08/2017 01:56

It's so funny that noone really knows about Jojo bows.

There's a programme called Dance Moms (which is one some or several minor TV channel). It's American.

A woman called Abby Lee Miller (I may have spelt that wrong) is a dance teacher. Children attend her class. She is vile to most of them, except a couple who she favours. Every week the children enter competitions, which they usually win or are placed.
Most of the programme is given over to the mothers of the children bitching about Abby, bitching about the other kids and falling out with each other.

The programme is TOXIC. Abby 'grades' the children on a 'wall' every week. She is nasty, vile and rude to the kids, who are expected to take it.
Then she announces which competition they'll be entering later that week and says who has a solo (cue bitching from the 'moms'). The kids then learn their dances in 3 days (aged about 8!!!! My DD did dance shows. Audience = parents and the occasional GP. Preparation time = 8 - 9 months).
Then the rest of the show is rehearsals (more bitching)
Going to the competition.
The competition.
The results.
All interspersed with the Moms complaining.

It's currently on about series 10. The mothers have got more and more expensive-looking as the series-s have gone on. They're all botox'd to shit now.

If you've ever seen a Sia video, one of Abby's dancers (Maddie - one of the few favourites) is probably dancing in it.

One of the children is called Jojo. Abby is relentlessly horrid to her. The kid is quite sassy and mouthy. I quite like her actually. She wears ridiculous bows in her hair. I guess the girl done good if she's now selling them and every primary school girl wants one.

Obviously, I've never seen the programme myself....

It's the derailing I hate. eg. My child was involved in a minor altercation at nursery, I'm not happy about how nursery dealt with it
Then gets
A load of posts with people with their stories of horrendous bullying and how their parent never stood up for them. It colours the entire thread and makes any potentially useful advice redundant, because it's all held up against the extreme cases, and that becomes the benchmark.

And the cleaning.

And the "I'm more eco than you"

There was a REALLY funny thread a while back which was "what's your bedroom like" and loads of posters put up pictures from magazines and stuff and pretended it was their bedroom. Interspersed with really shitty untidy rooms with cats asleep on the pillows.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 05/08/2017 01:58

btw, I think Abby's currently in prison.

MistressDeeCee · 05/08/2017 02:00

I was on a thread re not letting your DCs believe in Santa Claus for too long. & lots of adults were chiming in saying how they had been traumatised unto adulthood that their parents had lied to them...going on about even as a grown up they still felt resentment etc I was Shock I don't recall a single person in my adult life even mentioning this as an issue. According to thread tho, its common. The internet is a wibbly wobbly world of its own

bertsdinner · 05/08/2017 06:51

Holiday threads are the best. Its "we spend around £90k each year on our 5 mega holidays" versus " I backpack around South East Asia on £20".
Then there's the angst about going abroad, learning the local culture, being British (especially English), and having locals "looking relieved", when they find out you are not.
Then there's the horror at caravan holidays.

LittleLeif · 05/08/2017 07:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LittleLeif · 05/08/2017 07:08

@BarbaraofSeville
That was me under a different name. Post partum night sweats. And I learnt my lesson about AIBU that morning Blush and realised I'm an actual swamp monster with no consideration for others.

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuck · 05/08/2017 07:09

Yes you are echt 😂

x2boys · 05/08/2017 07:22

I am Northern Old but that's another point according to some on here I,m not northern enough apparently Manchester is practically in the South according to themGrinoh god yeah the holidays bert,apparently if you work hard never have any treats ever drive old bangers we could all afford luxury all inclusive holidays not just a week in skeggy in a caravanHmm and the constant "trans threads"i know people hold strong views on here but irl I don't think I know anyone who this affects.

NinaMarieP · 05/08/2017 07:25

You were no way in the wrong there, @LittleLeif. I totally felt for you on that one, I just had no inclination to get involved in a row with the rabid 'must washers' that all piled on the thread!

I agree with those mentioning the folk who:
Never open their door except by express appointment
Can't fathom other people's budgets/lifestyles/experiences differ from their own
Assume SEN is the reason behind every and all rude behaviour

I also don't get the all encompassing hatred for receptionists at doctor's and hospitals. Fair enough you might hate one if she's horrible but can you really hate them all because of her?

Roussette · 05/08/2017 07:29

SavemeBarry Love your post. Can I borrow 'utterly nutterlys' please. Because you have summed it all up and I may need to use that word a lot

Like on a thread I was on a while back. Family plus gran/grandad had all gone out in an estate type car that had seats in the boot. Mum had sat in one of those little seats for the journey home. All get back home, Mum needed someone to open the boot to let her out. No one did but she didn't say. Everyone but Mum quickly piled out and went indoors. And she sat there sobbing and MNing that she felt under valued that no one noticed she wasn't indoors. But wouldn't ring them to say "LET ME OUT", would rather MN and sob. I would've found it hilarious if it had been me. I told her not to be such an eejit of a martyr. Didn't go down well!

FanjoForTheMammaries · 05/08/2017 07:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NinaMarieP · 05/08/2017 07:40

I've got no problem with genuinely helpful
people suggesting a child's behaviour is similar to theirs with SEN.

It's just odd how many people try to excuse both children and adults' behaviour with the reason that they might have SEN or a disability.

They might. Or they might just have been behaving awfully.

echt · 05/08/2017 07:42

Assume SEN is the reason behind every and all rude behaviour

What I find tends to happen is that if an OP is posting about ANother's unusual behaviour and doesn't surmise that that ANother has SN/MH issues they have their arse handed to them on a plate for not being sensitive to possibilities.

If they post saying they think ANother might have SN/MH issues they have their arse handed to them on a plate for assuming it.

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