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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

That they should have just got a fucking babysitter

288 replies

Happyeverafter73 · 04/08/2017 19:13

I am sitting in a nice restaurant trying to have a good evening with my friends. And the couple next to me have their baby, no more than 1 month old. Screaming his or her head off for half an hour.

AIBU that they should not bring a tiny baby into a restaurant?

OP posts:
EmotionalTeaspoon · 04/08/2017 19:51

Good grief it takes no time to post something on your phone and since OP hasn't been back she's clearly not sat on it ignoring everyone.

No not BU. Screaming baby should be taken out to calm down and taken home if that doesn't work- not just because it's unfair on everyone else but a child that's been screaming for half an hour is clearly distressed and needs to be removed from the situation

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 04/08/2017 19:51

Does a month old really get that loud?

They can do yes.

CallMeKate · 04/08/2017 19:51

We've just left a restaurant due to the same thing oddly enough. We had our starter then the screaming started and we waited thinking it would end soon, no chance! They were too busy eating their main meal to bother with a hysterical baby. We weren't the only ones that left either, 2 other couples also walked out. There was an approx 3 year old sat at the table opposite us with his little hands over his ears, poor wee soul. We're not en route to Glasgow, with a bit of luck by the time we get there most children will be in bed and not screaming while their parents tuck in and ruin everyone else's enjoyment!

Allthebestnamesareused · 04/08/2017 19:52

Depends on what the OP is defining as a "nice restaurant".

To some people Frankie and Benny's is nice - to me that is a family restaurant so I wouldn't be bothered about a baby being there.

Sparklingbrook · 04/08/2017 19:52

Hopefully by now all is calm and OP is enjoying her meal. Baby has stopped screaming and peace restored. Phew.

CallMeKate · 04/08/2017 19:52

Now

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 04/08/2017 19:53

I dont see how a newborn is noisier than a table full of people tbh.

A screaming baby can go over 100 decibels can't they? I doubt very much a table of people talking does that. And it tends to be quite a piercing noise, whereas normal talking tends to blend away.

OP - I dare you to go over and say "the Mumsnet Jury say you should take your screaming child out you selfish entitled pair of idiots."

ScaramangasThirdNipple · 04/08/2017 19:57

It's the pitch of a young baby's scream. Nature has designed it so we all stop what we're doing and pay attention to the screaming. Nothing at all like the hubbub of a table of adults chatting and laughing.

abigcupoffuckyou · 04/08/2017 19:57

Also not everyone can just "get a fucking babysitter"

Then they should do like the rest of us do when we can't, we stay the fuck in!

NoMudNoLotus11 · 04/08/2017 20:08

Yanbu. The baby should have been taken out.

I've also had many a "quiet meal out" with dp ruined due to a table of howling women/large table of 10 all talking loudly or shouting/ sudden loud erupting laughter etc in a restaurant full of tables of 2 or 4 people trying to have conversations. But that's another thread!

Original poster
Happyeverafter73 · 04/08/2017 20:11

Haven't read all the posts yet. Friends are all mnetters! We decided between us to post this thread as by and large we trust the MN majority Grin

OP posts:
hackmum · 04/08/2017 20:12

I don't think I was up to eating out when my DD was one month old! We did take her when she was a bit older, though. When a baby that age cries, there's only one thing to do, which is feed it. Crying always means they're hungry, in my experience, and feeding always calms them down.

When DD was older, if she cried in a restaurant we'd take her out and jig her up and down, all that stuff, but at that age, they just want feeding. I'm amazed, actually, that two parents could listen to their own newborn baby crying for half an hour and not do anything about it.

OCSockOrphanage · 04/08/2017 20:12

In a restaurant in Malaysia on holiday years ago, a young couple with a tiny baby sat down to eat supper. When it started to cry, a waitress whisked by, picked it up, cuddled it and walked it around showing it the world, at all times within clear view of the parents. Baby was distracted and quiet, parents enjoyed their dinner in peace. Happiness all over.

Bejazzled · 04/08/2017 20:13

Yanbu

Mittens1969 · 04/08/2017 20:13

It is very hard to overlook a screaming newborn baby; as has been said, it's a survival instinct. It's not at all the same as people talking loudly in a restaurant.

AccrualIntentions · 04/08/2017 20:15

YANBU. Way to ruin everyone's evening, including their own and the baby's.

FanjoForTheMammaries · 04/08/2017 20:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FanjoForTheMammaries · 04/08/2017 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

manglethedangle · 04/08/2017 20:19

I don't see an issue with taking a newborn out to a restaurant with you, but letting it scream is not OK, for anyone, one of them should have taken it outside.

DeliciouslyHella · 04/08/2017 20:19

YADNBU.

At 1 month old, most babies are mellow and just feed and sleep, so I don't think the parents are unreasonable to bring them along. But they are definitely unreasonable to stay in the restaurant with a screaming baby.

FWIW, I took 3 week old DD out to a restaurant last night. Thankfully, she slept most of the meal, only waking to have a feed. Any tears and I would've been outside like a shot!

FanjoForTheMammaries · 04/08/2017 20:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gooseberrycrumble4 · 04/08/2017 20:23

It's fine to have a 1 month old there but only if content and calm

Blossomdeary · 04/08/2017 20:23

I was at a primary school performance the other week - it was brilliant and the children had worked very hard. There were lots of younger siblings there - no problem with that. But there was one, just one, whose parents made no real attempt to control her - she kept shouting loudly - they had brought nothing at all to distract her (food, drink picture books etc.) and when they did venture to quieten her they gave her their car keys? - rattle rattle - couldn't hear what the children were saying. They just kept grinning as if to say: isn't she a character?

All the other little ones squeaked a bit and wriggled about - and one was taken out briefly - their parents understood the principle of making it possible for the children to be heard. Everyone realises that there will be some little ones noise; but is it too much to expect that the parents might at least try and do something about it?

abigcupoffuckyou · 04/08/2017 20:23

Well who knows how much everyone else needed a night out? A screaming newborn is not a molehill if you are spending your money on a night out.

Doowappydoo · 04/08/2017 20:24

Yanbu, friend of mine on a first and much needed adult night out after her 3rd baby completely lost it in a very posh restaurant when her and her DH were seated next to a couple with a screaming newborn.

Baby cries are, for evolutionary reasons, very difficult to ignore and if you're breastfeeding it's a disaster. Have a word with the waiter, it's not on.