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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not think 35 was THAT old to have my last child?!

102 replies

Twistedpantsagain · 04/08/2017 16:15

Just had a chat with a woman in the local park who said she couldn't have a child at "THAT" age when I told her my last child was born when I was 35.
Surely this isn't actually all that old?! Doesn't help I suppose she was half my size and actually looked more half my age than the 5 years younger she actually was!

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 04/08/2017 17:02

I'm currently 33 and pregnant and a few months ago one of my colleagues told me I was pretty old to be having a baby.... Hmm

Katedotness1963 · 04/08/2017 17:03

I had my first at 36 and my second at 38. I'd have rather end had them earlier but had fertility problems.

I was a member of an online mothers community when my boys were small and I got ripped into for having them at my advanced age. I was selfish and was sure to die and leave them alone at a young age.

Kimberly343 · 04/08/2017 17:06

It also works the other way around, I had my first at 19 and I am now amongst the younger mums at school. A lot of them make comments like wow you look too young to have a 7 year old or will make a comment on how "brave" I was Hmm

It doesn't really matter what others think if it works for you!

ruthsmumkath · 04/08/2017 17:06

Not old at all - I had my youngest (dc4) at 42 and some people I've met were having there dc1 at my age.

hopsalong · 04/08/2017 17:07

None of my female friends had had their last child at 35. Most of us hasn't had our first!

IncyWincyGrownUp · 04/08/2017 17:11

In the area I live in you'd be considered quite old to still be having babies in your mid to late thirties. Most people are done by then.

I know I personally as a mid-thirties woman wouldn't want any more, but that's more to do with health and family circumstance rather than judgement.

If you're happy, crack on :)

Ewanwhosearmy · 04/08/2017 17:15

I had my last child 2 months off 44 Grin

BertrandRussell · 04/08/2017 17:17

I hadn't yet had my first at 35!

OCSockOrphanage · 04/08/2017 17:21

First/only was born a fortnight before my 43rd birthday. I was the oldest mum by a couple of years at least and now wonder if non-friends thought I was the grandma.

user1492287253 · 04/08/2017 17:24

Rude.
I had dd3 at 39. The number of people who told me i was quite mad was amazing

NicolasFlamel · 04/08/2017 17:25

It would feel "old" for me because I am done having kids at 26 but its not actually old. I dont want anymore and definitely not after 30 but thats a personal choice and I would never say it to someone! There's no need.

needsomesunshineandwine · 04/08/2017 17:28

It's definitely not old.

Although, I also wouldn't have a child at 35, but that's because I was a young mum and I'm done at 27.

I don't think it's rude to say that you wouldn't have a child at that age, would be different if someone said "you should not have a child at that age, that's so old " or along them lines.

TestTubeTeen · 04/08/2017 17:30

35 isn't old to have your FIRST child.

Why take notice of idiots / people who are rude/ have narrow minds / can't imagine anything other than what THEY do / have no experience of the world?

abigcupoffuckyou · 04/08/2017 17:31

Why take notice of idiots / people who are rude/ have narrow minds / can't imagine anything other than what THEY do / have no experience of the world?

You are far ruder.

She said it would be too old for her. Why are you so confused?

DonkeyOil · 04/08/2017 17:32

I had my 1st at 35, 2nd at 37 and last at a month off 45 Smile

whatwouldrondo · 04/08/2017 17:34

First at 35, second at 39. Just had my 60th birthday and we rock along just fine, we enjoy watching the same films and TV both the crap and the good stuff going on holiday together still etc. The girls think nothing of it a sense it is fairly common amongst their friends and not a few have older parents.

Jux · 04/08/2017 17:38

First (and last) at 41.

Justdontknow4321 · 04/08/2017 17:40

I don't see how the women's rude at all and I bet she isn't jealous either! Why would she be.... jealous of being an older mumHmm nothing wrong with being an older mum if that's what you want.

35 to have my last child is also far to old for me! I won't have any children past 30!

GodIsDead · 04/08/2017 17:41

I had my first child of at 36....

Wants · 04/08/2017 17:42

I was nearly 39 when I had Ds3. I wouldn't comment on someone's age in regards to having children. Everyone has their own 'threshold '.

smakibbfb · 04/08/2017 17:50

I had my first at 35 (almost 36)....
Second at 37

anotherprosecco · 04/08/2017 17:55

First at 33, second at 37.

madja · 04/08/2017 17:57

I think it's worth pointing out here, that I would have had my kids earlier, had I been able.
It's not always a choice to be older. I had been trying for nearly 10 years when I finally got pregnant. You are very lucky if you got choose exactly what age to be having your family. It doesn't work that way for all of us.

MsHarry · 04/08/2017 17:59

I agree that it is so wrong to comment or even ask about family plans unless very close family or friends as nobody knows what the couple want or if there are any fertility issues, it's so personal.

whatwouldrondo · 04/08/2017 18:06

I would have been a pretty terrible mother in my 20s. I was enjoying life, building my career and home. I split up with my partner of 11 years at 29. None of my friends had children. I could well imagine succumbing to depression as my Mum did with two small children by the age of 24. By 35 I was more mature and experienced, all our friends had or were having children (one two days after me so that our eldest are practically twins, and secure enough in my career and finances to be able to provide my girls with greater support emotionally, academically and financially, particularly in their teens and university years. It certainly worked better for me.