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Original poster

to not think 35 was THAT old to have my last child?!

102 replies

Twistedpantsagain · 04/08/2017 16:15

Just had a chat with a woman in the local park who said she couldn't have a child at "THAT" age when I told her my last child was born when I was 35.
Surely this isn't actually all that old?! Doesn't help I suppose she was half my size and actually looked more half my age than the 5 years younger she actually was!

OP posts:
badtime · 04/08/2017 16:39

I barely know anyone who had children before they were 35!

museumum · 04/08/2017 16:39

People who have children young can feel old at 35, whereas I personally still felt young at 35, had ds at 37 and now feel ANCIENT at 40. It's not the five years that made me feel old, it's the being pregnant and having a baby then toddler that did it.

friedegs · 04/08/2017 16:40

Depends who your social/ friendship group is. All of my close friends only had / are having babies from 35 onwards well into their 40s. I guess it's a social/ economic thing, in general, although there are exceptions. All women and most of the men are educated to degree level and in well-established careers.

passtheloveon · 04/08/2017 16:40

I had my one and only at 36 ! It's not unusual where I live at all, in fact I know a couple of first time mums who were in their early 40's.

NoWordForFluffy · 04/08/2017 16:44

What museumum said. I was 36 when I had DD and 37 when I had DS. I do feel quite old in the main!

13 months' gap has changed my body irrevocably (unless I have surgery) but we have our DC, so I think it could be worse!

fabbradoodle · 04/08/2017 16:44

It's really common where I am (leafy part of England) to be a first time parents late 30's/40's. I'm having my third DC at 32 and am, yet again, amoungst the youngest.

iseenodust · 04/08/2017 16:44

Out of my group of friends (known most of them 25years +) only one got married before thirty. We've been lucky to all have children in our mid-late thirties & early forties. You would have been a young mum OP amongst us !

RhubardGin · 04/08/2017 16:45

In my social circle everyone started having babies once they hit their thirties.

I only have one friend who had two in her twenties and she quite happily tells people they weren't planned and wishes she had waited a few years.

If I have kids I'll be early to mid thirties and to me that's a perfect time, everybody is different Smile

I do think she was a bit rude, 35 is so young!

coddiwomple · 04/08/2017 16:46

Most of my friends are having children in their late 30s early 40s, I am going to a baby shower tomorrow and the mum to be is 43. Seems normal around here. I also know many women who are much fitter and healthier than some 20 year old, so age really doesn't mean that much.

Women always had children late in life anyway, it didn't use to be their first born, that's it.

Floggingmolly · 04/08/2017 16:46

Of course it isn't! Are you sure she heard you correctly? It would have been a rude remark even if you'd said 55.

neveradullmoment99 · 04/08/2017 16:47

I am now 49 and my sons are 30!!!! People are often shocked i have children that are THAT old!!! I have also have my dd who is only 6! Its bizarre.

bruffin · 04/08/2017 16:48

Dd 19 came along 1 week before my 35th, not that unusual, althiugh one of dds friends grandmother is younger than me

LastOneDancing · 04/08/2017 16:49

Oh god the 'right age' debate is such bullshit. The age you have children is governed by a mix of personality, circumstance, biology and a bit of luck.

She was rude.

SheepyFun · 04/08/2017 16:54

One family member married in her mid 30's and had her children at 37 and 39. This was over 50 years ago. I wonder what comments she got.... (so I don't think 35 is at all old to have your last)

strawberrygate · 04/08/2017 16:54

I had my first at 36 and my last at 42 and I don't feel old

liz70 · 04/08/2017 16:55

I was a fortnight short of 39 when I had DD3. We're just fine. My life, your life, her life - all different. I wouldn't give it any more thought if I were you.

ProfYaffle · 04/08/2017 16:56

I was 35 when I had my last dd and we were the first to have kids out of our friends!

oldtrees · 04/08/2017 16:57

People have funny ideas. I always thought 28 was a good age to have kids.

I have my last at 38.

steppemum · 04/08/2017 16:57

I had my first at 35! and my last at 40!

Littleblessings7 · 04/08/2017 16:59

Jeeze no....had my first at 41.... Three years ago & fingers crossed for another.

Both my grandmothers had their last babies in their 40's.

One had 6 kids & the other 12 kid..... The last two twin girls at home on a farm! It's nothing at all new in the world, especially in large family's.

MsHarry · 04/08/2017 17:00

My gran was 40 when she had her 6th child back in 1961! I think 35 is fine, I was 33.

34AQuid · 04/08/2017 17:00

She was rude to say that to you.

Its pretty stupid to impose your own timelines on other people, really.

I was done by 31 (and had 35 as a cut-off in my head for a third and sat child....which never happened, as DH was horrified by the idea of another!).

However, most of my friends had their first in their mid thirties, and a couple were over 40 (mainly down to fertility issues).

I wish people wouldn't feel the need to comment on other people's family planning/fertility/choices!

madja · 04/08/2017 17:00
Confused I had my one and only at 35. I didn't think it was THAT old, but the hospital regularly called me a geriatric mum. That made me feel awesome! I understand why someone would think that, but why say it? I was always brought up to be polite, and if I didn't have anything nice to say, to not say anything!
34AQuid · 04/08/2017 17:00

sat = last

Oldraver · 04/08/2017 17:02

I've had babies at 19, 21 and 41

Sometimes life just doesn't follow the path you thought might happen.

I assume the 'over and done with DC's by 30' didnt have many obstacles in their way

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