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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Doctor's appointment

537 replies

10greenapples · 04/08/2017 12:03

I missed a drs appointment for my dd as I just wasn't going to make it on time. Anyway today I recieved a letter which says if one more appointment is missed she won't be allowed another one for 6 months! We can cancel an appointment but need to give an hours notice. So we will only be seen at the walk in if another is missed which is 8am-11am and a 2 hour wait. Aibu in thinking this seems pretty harsh?!

OP posts:
andbabymakesthree · 06/08/2017 15:28

If you use Wi-Fi you could have e-mailed surgery. You were rude not to attend. It also sounds like something the pharmacy could help with. If necessary under minor ailments scheme so you don't have to buy over the counter.

Original poster
10greenapples · 06/08/2017 15:29

As I said my mum brought up 6 kids without a mobile! That was only in the 90s early hardly the dark ages as someone put it! Now suddenly not having a mobile is a safe guarding concern lol

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 06/08/2017 15:29

Rude. And unreasonable. And although you say you accept that you're still making excuses as if you don't actually accept that at all.

I'm out.

Coconutspongexo · 06/08/2017 15:30

It was the 80s the other day.

Also, you're apparently an adult admit when you're wrong which you are!

Original poster
10greenapples · 06/08/2017 15:32

I was born in 88 I have older brothers and sister (and younger)

OP posts:
Sirzy · 06/08/2017 15:33

In the "dark old days"

A) there wasn't the expectation to be always contactable there is now.

B) there where payphones all over the place so if you where delayed you would go to one and make said call that way.

Times change!

ilovesooty · 06/08/2017 15:35

So what would you do if you were out and delayed picking up your child, or if your child was hurt?

Original poster
10greenapples · 06/08/2017 15:35

I Know someone who got rid of the their mobile completely the other day. Guess he is utterly irresponsible lol

OP posts:
C8H10N4O2 · 06/08/2017 15:37

what if you had an accident

What if people understood risk analysis? How on earth did we manage before mandatory mobile phones Hmm

op is contactable she is just not always instantly contactable which describes most parents who cannot constantly have a phone with them

Original poster
10greenapples · 06/08/2017 15:37

I would go home and then make the phone call. What about people who work so aren't easily available to collect there child. My sister works an hour away from her sons school, I would always get to my kids school quicker. So pointless argument

OP posts:
PoppyPopcorn · 06/08/2017 15:38

This is nuts. Of COURSE you phone and say you're running late. Apologise profusely and the staff can juggle patients and maximise the GP's time.

If for whatever reason you can't phone then of course you call later to apologise, it's common courtesy.

Count yourself lucky it wasn't a dental appointment - our NHS dentists and orthodontist would charge.

ilovesooty · 06/08/2017 15:39

Well you didn't go home and make the phone call to the surgery. You were far too busy for that.

Panda81 · 06/08/2017 15:40

However blaming her for the state of the NHS when, even if she had been able to call from the bus, the appt could not have been reused is just ridiculous.

Multiply OPs attitude towards the NHS by the number of other people that do the same then yes, OP is partly to blame and is contributing towards the state of the NHS. Of course not solely to blame, that would be ridiculous Hmm

The point is OP is complaining about receiving a no show letter when she didn't contact the surgery.

Like others have said, if she had contacted the surgery as soon as possible afterwards (even if it was next day on her landline, and explained she only had a landline!) then the surgery may not have even sent a letter if they knew the reason why. To complain about getting a letter when you've not contacted the surgery is completely unreasonable but OP doesn't seem to have acknowledged this, just given various reasons why she didn't/couldn't and sounds like she would make no effort to do anything differently if it happened again.

Which is her choice but she shouldn't COMPLAIN if the surgery stop letting her pre book appointments!!

londonista · 06/08/2017 15:52

Lots of things about this thread make me feel despondent... not least of which is that the OP is obviously feeling entitled enough to even have started it in the first place.

Nonetheless the thing that grates, is the assertion from OP several times (yes I have RTFT) that the NHS is free. It might be free to you OP (don't want to make any assumptions about whether you're a wage earner or not) but as someone coming from a household that consistently gives a 6 figure sum every year to the Revenue, your attitude stinks. It's not free. Me and my husband pay for it. We inherited nothing, we work 60 hour weeks, raise our boys together, we pay our taxes and guess what we TURN UP on time for our appointments. Am I better than you? I'd like to think not, and I am left-leaning enough to not begrudge our tax payments, not least because it's designed to level out our society, but posts like yours really do grate.

Quite frankly you and your ilk are a stain on Britain and it gives me no pleasure to say it.

lljkk · 06/08/2017 15:56

I can't understand having a phone with no credit on it at all.
I say that as someone who rarely turns phone on. I'm on true PAYG who only tops up (£10) once every 3 months. Each phone call usually costs ~25p on true PAYG.
Since OP never tops up her phone she never uses it. If she did top it up she would probably only spend the £5 once, & only need to use the phone to make maximum 4 urgent calls a year. That would still last 5 yrs.

So she is saying she can't afford £1/yr. Confused

I'm really sorry you can't afford £5 right now. Maybe you can find someone's kid to babysit for 2 hours to earn that much dosh?

Original poster
10greenapples · 06/08/2017 15:58

I'm not saying I literally don't have a penny, at the time I didn't!!! And now well call crazy but I would rather have £5 in my account than £5 on a phone for "just incase"

OP posts:
LT1927 · 06/08/2017 16:00

Unfortunately rules are rules! And I really do think the decent thing to do is call the GP to apologise for missing the appointment. It isn't pointless it is polite.

Coconutspongexo · 06/08/2017 16:06

Why are we even trying? OP has to be one of the most ignorant posters on MN.

You asked AIBU we told you YABU and then you made up numerous terrible excuses as to why 'YANBU' & you were then told no you're not only still unreasonable but pure rude & ignorant.

Why did you bother posting this if you very clearly don't care for advice?

melj1213 · 06/08/2017 16:07

OP I get being on a tight budget - I'm a single parent on NMW - but I still have a contract phone ... even if I didn't I'd make sure I had a way of phoning someone in an emergency.

My DD is 9 and she has a cheap PAYG none smartphone, the only reason she has it is because her dad and I are separated and so it's a handy way of both of us knowing we can contact her at any time. She knows that it is only for us to call her but we still make sure she has £5 credit for emergencies, so that if there's a mix up when it comes to who is picking her up for/from an activity or she gets hurt when she's out with her friends, or we call her but she misses the call and wants to ring back she can contact us. She has had the phone for about a year and a half and in that time I think we have had to top up her credit once or twice, so £15 at most over 18 months ... that's less than £1 a month.

Surely peace of mind and having the ability to instantly call someone in a situation like this one is worth a one off £5 this month?

Original poster
10greenapples · 06/08/2017 16:10

I had a contract phone then got one massive bill which I couldn't afford to pay so I had to come off contract. That's when I got the landline as it actually worked out cheaper/better value to have a landline and wifi than an mobile contract.

OP posts:
Original poster
10greenapples · 06/08/2017 16:12

If I absolutely did need credit I would top up my phone when (if) the time comes. I'm not gonna do it in advance.

OP posts:
melj1213 · 06/08/2017 16:20

If I absolutely did need credit I would top up my phone when (if) the time comes. I'm not gonna do it in advance.

And what happens in an emergency, when you don't have any money left again? How do you plan to top your phone up? Surely it's better to have £5 on your phone - that you are eventually going to use at some point - than hope you have enough money to top up your phone when you need it?

And what do you constitute a situation in which you "absolutely do need credit" if "having credit available for emergencies and so I can call if something happens to the kids" is not one of those situations?

DoctorDonnaNoble · 06/08/2017 16:21

I can't believe this is still going on! OP, you were unreasonable and exceptionally rude to not contact the GP. You were a no show for an appointment and that is not somehow acceptable because the NHS is 'free'. Manners cost nothing and make your life easier (as would having £5 emergency credit on your phone). To be honest, I would rather have the emergency credit than new plant pots but there we go.

Liiinoo · 06/08/2017 16:24

I love this thread and whilst I think OP is completely unreasonable I am in awe of her ability to stand up for herself in the face of pretty unanimous criticism. Like the Chumbawumba song 'ain't nothing gonna keep her down'.

NipInTheAir · 06/08/2017 16:30

The traffic was bad. It made you late. You didn't have phone credit to ring ahead. You knew you'd not be seen if you didn't turn up within 15 minutes of your appointment. So why didn't you proceed to the surgery to firstly apologise profusely and secondly to request another appointment for your dd who I assume was ill as you were going to the doctors?

I'm afraid you should go to the walk in in future and I'm sad there isn't a dining system for people like you. In fact I think we should all have our personal costs record so everyone can see what we pay in and what we take out.

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