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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Doctor's appointment

537 replies

10greenapples · 04/08/2017 12:03

I missed a drs appointment for my dd as I just wasn't going to make it on time. Anyway today I recieved a letter which says if one more appointment is missed she won't be allowed another one for 6 months! We can cancel an appointment but need to give an hours notice. So we will only be seen at the walk in if another is missed which is 8am-11am and a 2 hour wait. Aibu in thinking this seems pretty harsh?!

OP posts:
MsPassepartout · 04/08/2017 21:26

Shapely Just wanted to say something about this point of yours....

It isn't uncommon for HVs to waste a full day going out to prearranged appointments only to find that nobody's home.

HV's don't always give patients much notice of their pre-arranged appointments. The ones I've had have all been in the form of a letter saying "HV will be round on date / time, call us if this is inconvenient". So it's not really always that pre-arranged from the patient point of view, especially if the letter is delayed or turns up when you're away from home for a few days.

Personal example - I was admitted to hospital to be induced when about 37.5 weeks pregnant with DC3. A letter arrived at my home the day after I was admitted to hospital to inform me that the HV would be calling round for a routine pre-birth visit. The proposed date had been and gone by the time I'd been discharged from hospital with DC3 (we had a longer than usual stay).

The HV would have been knocking on our door with no luck if DH hadn't taken it on himself to open my mail.
So I can imagine that it's possible that some of these patients not waiting in for their appointment are unaware that the HV is planning on visiting.

ShapelyBingoWing · 04/08/2017 21:27

In regards to HV often turning up to no one being home, that might be because from HVs I've had have said I'll be there between 9-5 which isn't an acceptable time frame for anyone to stay in, I've always said text them back saying I'm going out @ won't be back til.. said time and end up with a text saying 'You have missed your appointment with me'

In the teams I've worked in so far, you're given an arrival time or, at the very worst, a 2 hour slot. The only time this isn't the case is for new birth visits because they have so little notice to fit them in. Those families are rarely out though as they've got such new babies. I've been under 2 different health visiting teams as a parent too and both have been good at giving times. I completely understand the frustration of not being given time slots...DNAs must be even worse for the teams working in your area, and not through fault of the parents!

ShapelyBingoWing · 04/08/2017 21:34

MsPassepartout

I'm certainly not claiming there are never any genuine reasons for not being in at an appointment time...thats a hazard of the work! Smile But it's a far bigger issue than can be explained by that, hence the example I provided after that. It's a mammoth abyss of resources across all services.

nocoolnamesleft · 04/08/2017 22:07

A different website I'm on has a term for this sort of behaviour. The NHS is free at the point of use. This is the NHS free at the point of abuse. (FATPOA)

Stressalot42 · 05/08/2017 05:34

Why had you booked a doctors appointment that wasn't required?

You didn't contact the surgery to explain and rebook?

Yabvvvu!

Stressalot42 · 05/08/2017 05:47

*@10greenapples And if my child needed an ambulance I would call 999 which is free

I'm afraid this one line sums up your entire entitled attitude - the NHS isn't some benevolent charity - it costs a fricking fortune and that bill is paid for by us all. *

^^

Well bloody said PP, free my arse!

Stressalot42 · 05/08/2017 05:58

BTW, I don't think I'd trust a pharmacist to diagnose if it looked like an allergy or not. I'd really want to see a doctor if it involves eyes.

People like this are a drain on the NHS!!

A & E us ACCIDENT AND EMERGENCY if which a swollen eye is neither!!

And they we get sine convoluted story about a friends child's eye was saved....this child had a mild allergy!

dowhatyouwish · 05/08/2017 06:01

You are being unreasonable. You didn't have the courtesy to call the doctors the moment you realised you'd be late. It's only right that you'll now face the consequences and hopefully won't do it again.

dowhatyouwish · 05/08/2017 06:02

If you couldn't give and hours' notice you still could have called. I'm sure you may have been able to negotiate with them or even change the time maybe. To not call whatsoever is a bit rude.

Evangeline3 · 05/08/2017 06:12

Wow I didn't know they did they either, unless it was a habitual thing.
It must be a really busy surgery.
I think it is a little harsh, I've never received any letters for any of my missed GP appointments.

crazykitten20 · 05/08/2017 06:20

I left with plenty of time to spare. I can't help that the whole road was closed off and traffic was not moving

You can't help that, no. You're right.

And neither can the doctors surgery help that.

Stop being childish and entitled. You are responsible for keeping appointments. If you can't keep them , you apologise. And act like an adult.

Buy a £5 mobile phone. Put £10 credit on it. Use it next time a 'I can't help it' situation occurs.

Go into the doctors and apologise. Tell the doctors that you will not be so rude again.

DoctorDonnaNoble · 05/08/2017 06:30

@Evangeline3 - how many appointments have you missed?! And do you apologise for missing them. And yes, some practices are very busy. There is a town near me where only one practice is taking on new patients. There is a dire shortage of GPs and it's only going to get worse!

Gooseberrycrumble4 · 05/08/2017 06:34

It's polite to ring and let them know. They could have filled the slot with a last minute person or reshuffled those waiting.

Evangeline3 · 05/08/2017 06:54

DoctorDonnaNoble
I just read through the updates and I can see there's quite a lot of excuses.
The majority of the time I do call to let them know.
Last week I was late but I still want anyway and luckily the doctor squeezed me in.

mellongoose · 05/08/2017 06:58

I would support the NHS charging for missed appointments. 200 missed appointments a month at £100 would certainly help GPs surgeries. Obviously if you call and apologise this could be mitigated.

I forsee fewer missed appointments!

eviethehamster · 05/08/2017 07:14

You sound ridiculously entitled OP. You should have gone to the appt regardless of signs interesting that you notice seeing as you rarely go there. Luckily you rarely need the GP though, so why are you worried about the consequence?

Glumglowworm · 05/08/2017 07:17

YABU

stop making excuses and take responsibility for the things you can control like calling them to apologise and explain

Although I expect if you had called there wouldn't have been a word of apology anyway

Lweji · 05/08/2017 09:42

And if my child needed an ambulance I would call 999 which is free^

I'm afraid this one line sums up your entire entitled attitude

The OP meant there that the CALL was free, so she didn't need credit on the phone.

And that was in case she NEEDED to go to A&E.

Katherine2626 · 05/08/2017 17:24

It's not reasonable to expect a GP to sit there waiting for you given the pressures on the NHS . How would you feel if you had sat there waiting and then he said he wouldn't see you? Not happy, I bet. Like other posters I have to wait a good while to see my GP and we have a notice saying how many appointments are 'no shows' for the month - and it's over 200 for a surgery with four doctors.

AnnoyedinJanuary · 05/08/2017 18:00

Would you have not called if it was a hair appointment or a restaurant booking? And if not, why do you think It's acceptable to not call the surgery. It's polite to call and apologise at least. Someone else could have had that slot and not until they instigate policies like this will people learn their lesson.

AnnoyedinJanuary · 05/08/2017 18:17

OP you have posted on Mumsnet asking AIBU? And about 99% of replies have said yes YWBU - and agreement at this level is not usual for Mumsnet and instead of coming back and saying - wow I didn't realise - I can see your points of view - you just try to defend yourself over and over again -which leads me to think you did not get the answer you were looking for but it is one you should now accept. It's still not too late to call the surgery and actually apologise, explaining your case as you have done here. Better late than never as they say!

hks · 05/08/2017 19:10

our Dr's surgery remove you from the practice if you dont turn up or give a resonable explanation i think it something like 3 missed appointments and your out and if you turn up late you have to wait till end of that morning/ afternoon surgery to see if dr can fit you in

i had a 8-30 appintment the other week and all the GP's & some staff were in a meeting They didnt even start taking their morning surgery till 9-20 .. 40 mins late with NO explanation !!!

Our denist charges you £20 per 15 mins / missed appointment and you have to pay before you can make another one

Minaktinga · 05/08/2017 19:21

I used to work as a PA for someone. Members of the organisation could see him for free but going rate for an appointment was £62, so when someone was a no-show we would write a letter saying next time we would charge. Hate to think how much it costs the NHS when people don't show up. I know you couldn't help it but u fortunately society has to move at the rate of the slowest people, and some people take the piss.

Lovingit81 · 05/08/2017 19:33

Wow this thread has got really nasty very quickly. It's obviously a very sensitive subject. OP you were unreasonable and it's good that you acknowledge that. The traffic was of course not your fault but you must call and apologise in circumstances like this. You could have phoned from home later. It's good manners and could have removed the very justified warning you got. I'd log out of this thread and not respond any more. There are some unreasonable people on here that just want to argue and you too are coming across very combative. I hope your DD is feeling better.

cheval · 05/08/2017 20:28

As Cat in the states says, if we had to pay for medical services, which Brits did prior to 1947, people might take it more seriously. We are in danger of losing our NHS. People take advantage. Now it's falling apart because we haven't taken care of a very special national asset.