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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Yes, I am, I suspect I need your help not to be.

69 replies

serendippity · 03/08/2017 11:51

I'm posting here because I need a kick up the butt only AIBU can give Grin

I'm due to fly 10.5 hours to what I know will be an amazing holiday in a few weeks. It's the first time I will have been on a plane in almost 10 years and I am terrified.
I am having enormous trouble not focusing on terrorism, engine failure or terrible turbulence (and that's before the more normal worries of painful ears and bored dc, one of which has never flown before)
Anyway, I am being U as I am beginning to be so nervous of all the above things, I am forgetting to be excited about the holiday! I'm also worrying that it's going to take the shine off the first family holiday we've had, because then I have to get back on the plane to get back.

I absolutely need to get a grip before I freak both DC out on the plane, so please tell me I am being U and that the things I am worried about are few and far between and unlikely to happen. I have tried telling myself since we booked it (only a short while ago, last minute thing, otherwise I may have started therapy!) but it isn't working so far, I need the voices of reason!

OP posts:
Kittenswithattitudeandchickens · 03/08/2017 12:18

I was in the same boat as you op in January. My lovely man bought us a 5 star holiday in Mexico for Christmas. The longest I'd ever flown for before was 4 hours so I was very daunted by 10.5. It ruined the run up as I kept winding myself up and on the morning of the flight I was heaving because of nerves. The plane was one of those air buses and it was quite a smooth flight (tiny amount of turbulence like being on a slightly bumpy road) I watched the air stewards / stewardesses and while they were fine laughing and chatting I felt much calmer. TBH by the end of 10.5 hours I was more bored than anything and not at all bothered about having to fly back. It was completely worth it anyway as was the best holiday of my life. I'm sure you'll be fine.

Notevilstepmother · 03/08/2017 12:26

I find a little drink takes the edge off flying Gin

Original poster
serendippity · 03/08/2017 12:30

We're flying in the morning, I wasn't sure a drink was acceptable notevil but, I think I'm with you on that one and may succumb!

Thank you kittens were you fine on the way back? Was it a Dreamliner by any chance?

OP posts:
Original poster
serendippity · 03/08/2017 12:31

Ah just read that you weren't worried at all about the flight back, this is giving me hope. I will definitely keep an eye on the cabin crew, I've heard that really can help.

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 03/08/2017 13:03

I am a very nervous flyer albeit controlled enough not to freak out.

We are flying back to UK tonight and feel a bit nervy but I find alcohol, deep breathing on take off and listening to music keeps me calm.

I also kept an eye on the crew who are just working another day in the office.

puddingpen · 03/08/2017 13:13

No need to be nervous about turbulence. It is totally normal and not something to panic about. You need to tell yourself that some bits will be a bit bumpy and then when the flight is beautifully smooth (as it most likely will be) you will just be extra happy.

puddingpen · 03/08/2017 13:15

Also - drinks are acceptable any time when flying! Have a little glass at the airport. Most long haul flights still include alcohol on tap so take advantage of a second little tipple to calm your nerves once on board.

Kittenswithattitudeandchickens · 03/08/2017 13:21

I had a large Bacardi and Coke at 6.30am!!

Kittenswithattitudeandchickens · 03/08/2017 13:22

And yes op was a Dreamliner

FledglingFTB · 03/08/2017 13:23

It's ok OP, I'll take the hol of your hands if you like Grin

Morning airport booze is acceptable, a glass of prosecco, or Buck's Fizz? Just don't overdo it. As you'll feel rotten. You can book airport massages now too, or a mani in the departure lounge spa . Take your mind off things, have a good book etc.

Hapaxlegomenon · 03/08/2017 13:24

It can be daunting because an aeroplane isn't something you're in control of like a car, but it really is so much safer! 'Bad' turbulence can happen occasionally, but what you'd think of as bad really isn't dangerous at all. Even though it can be scary, try and rationalise it in your mind before you get on so you can be calm, and reassure your dc if they get nervous. Maybe even have a little chat about it together beforehand.

Original poster
serendippity · 03/08/2017 13:24

Thank you, yes drinks are included, I'm not a massive drinker, but if it takes the edge off, I may become one for the duration of the flight Wink I'm swinging between feeling like sitting with DS and his, almost certainly, excited face will keep me calm, and looking at his face, feeling like we're going to die and freaking out.
I am an avid radio 2 fan, I may try and tune in for take off, it may help!

OP posts:
MommaGee · 03/08/2017 13:25

On holiday you may drink as early as you like. Don't get "kicked off a plane " drunk or "vom in the loo" drunk. Just a tipple of special mommy juice to take the edge off.

Good book for the plane?

Remember the news show the bad things. Look up at all the planes in the sky that are fine.

Hapaxlegomenon · 03/08/2017 13:27

Also want to add there will probably be tvs on the seats with films and games to entertain your children

Scribblegirl · 03/08/2017 13:28

You need to find a way to make flying boring OP. I was a nervous flyer until I started flying for work and now I find it so fucking tedious I can't bring myself to get worried Grin

I won't blather on about stats on how you're more likely to be trampled by a hippo etc but honestly - it's a form of transport. It's like a train, or a car. Yes it's in the air, but the victorians were terrified of cars when they first got them, many were scared and confused by the engine and mistrusted the lack of a horse to pull them along Confused

If all else fails though, have a drink...

BeyondThePage · 03/08/2017 13:30

Apparently the last time Delta (in US) advertised for flight attendants they had to sift through nearly ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND applications and interviewed 60-100 people for each job.

If all those people WANT to be in the air multiple times a day for their career, I reckon there is not too much to be worried about with flying.

It is a big flying bus taking you away for your holiday fun. (and the safety record is BETTER than being on an actual bus on the ground)

Scribblegirl · 03/08/2017 13:31

Oh, also I find I can only worry about a limited number of things at a time. So if you panic on the flight, start thinking that the hotel won't have your room ready, the food will be shit, the kids will irritate all the other hotel guests, you'll happen to be in the room next door to an ex boyfriend... (don't laugh - it happened to my best friend Confused!)

Original poster
serendippity · 03/08/2017 13:31

MommaGee funnily enough I am doing that, and it does help, I can't even being to imagine how many planes fly safely every day.
I just can't shake the feeling that there is no reason why awful things can't befall out plane, hence why I am being totally U.
Fledgling I may get back to you Wink
Yes hepaxlegomenon it's that feeling of being out of control, I'm also a terrible passenger in a car, I am a total wuss and err on the side of fear.
You're all really helping, I'm very gratefull!

OP posts:
KatsutheClockworkOctopus · 03/08/2017 13:32

One piece of advice I was given was to put a half full bottle of water on your tray. You can look at it when you feel the plane is tilting/lurching and the fact the water hasn't changed level much shows the plane hasn't moved as much as you think.
Not explained that well but hopefully it makes sense!

Original poster
serendippity · 03/08/2017 13:34

scribblegirl your advice really did make me laugh out loud, that's a really good idea!

OP posts:
OuchLegoHurts · 03/08/2017 13:34

There was a brilliant thread about this the other day...and a poilit came on and really helped the op (and many others!) I'll try to find a link to it. It was fantastic!

OuchLegoHurts · 03/08/2017 13:34

Sorry a pilot!

lemonzest123 · 03/08/2017 13:34

You CAN do it! I didn't fly for ten years either and I started last year. Built it up slowly - had a few total melt downs but now can fly comfortably! two glasses of wine helps

SlothMama · 03/08/2017 13:35

I flew on a dream liner for 10 hours, it was a very smooth nice flight apart from some slight turbulence. Other than that I just ended up getting bored and just wanted to land!

Flying is a very safe way to travel and I'm sure the destination will be more than worth it!

Original poster
serendippity · 03/08/2017 13:35

Thank you ouchlegohurts much appreciated!

OP posts:
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