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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Yes, I am, I suspect I need your help not to be.

69 replies

serendippity · 03/08/2017 11:51

I'm posting here because I need a kick up the butt only AIBU can give

I'm due to fly 10.5 hours to what I know will be an amazing holiday in a few weeks. It's the first time I will have been on a plane in almost 10 years and I am terrified.
I am having enormous trouble not focusing on terrorism, engine failure or terrible turbulence (and that's before the more normal worries of painful ears and bored dc, one of which has never flown before)
Anyway, I am being U as I am beginning to be so nervous of all the above things, I am forgetting to be excited about the holiday! I'm also worrying that it's going to take the shine off the first family holiday we've had, because then I have to get back on the plane to get back.

I absolutely need to get a grip before I freak both DC out on the plane, so please tell me I am being U and that the things I am worried about are few and far between and unlikely to happen. I have tried telling myself since we booked it (only a short while ago, last minute thing, otherwise I may have started therapy!) but it isn't working so far, I need the voices of reason!

OP posts:

simon50 · 03/08/2017 14:19

Doubt if this will help? But here goes, are you scared of crossing the road as you have far more chance of getting knocked down than anything going wrong on your flight !
Its just something your not used to, it will be fine.
Only time I'v been slightly worried was landing at the old Hong Kong airport, Google it if you dare.

happypoobum · 03/08/2017 14:19

You can get rescue Remedy from Boots (at the airport if necessary)

supermoon100 · 03/08/2017 14:22

I know people who have been prescribed valium just for flying. You could try the doctors?

Laska5772 · 03/08/2017 14:25

I do hate to be the boring one here .. (and i like my ), but if you are not a drinker please dont drink just for flying. It will only make you feel worse / fuzzy and even a small bit could dehydrate you which wil make you feel worse definately as air in cabins is drying enough. ..

Try and have something like good old tea (with one sugar if you can stand it ) or a lemonade. and water on plane or more tea. Also have something bready but not too fatty to eat.. (a tea and a danish in the airport cafe beforehand is what we do ).

Boring but best. really . Good luck and enjoy your holiday! you wil be fine..

AtHomeDadGlos · 03/08/2017 14:26

Well the most dangerous parts are take off and landing, and you have to do both of those whether taking a long or short haul flight. The bit in the middle is very safe.

Hissy · 03/08/2017 14:31

Try BAch's Rescue Remedy in the lead up, it's something I use a lot to help me get over my incredibly dull and irritating mild agoraphobia.

Sounds like you are turning a corner though! Send us a postcard?

hiccupgirl · 03/08/2017 14:32

I did 2 13 hour long haul flights last week after not flying for 9 years and was very, very nervous before hand.

Looking at the Flightradar site and seeing just how many flights are up there safely all the time really helped. I also watched the cabin crew when it was bumpy and reminded myself that if it was anything to worry about, they would be looking worried. I did take diazepam (very small dose) for both take offs as they took a while but was fine once I was in the air and on the landings.

DS (7) had never flown before and it helped having to be calm for him and talking him through everything that was happening kept my brain from rushing off in panic mode.

Topseyt · 03/08/2017 14:32

I am also a nervous flyer. I sympathize.

In the run up to a flight I have been known to take Kalms, and I also find that during the flight a good gin and tonic is helpful. Heck, I even look forward to that.

I agree that the other thread linked to above was very helpful. I did read it, but was short of time and didn't post.

swingofthings · 03/08/2017 14:37

I know people who have been prescribed valium just for flying. You could try the doctors?
Yep, me, after 6 years, I now have it on repeat! At first, my GP was very weary, especially as I'd just moved and therefore changed practice, but he got to know that I would never take it at any other time.

Like someone mentioned earlier, I've also established a routine that works for me and as long as this doesn't get disrupted, I'm ok.

Original poster

serendippity · 03/08/2017 14:37

Flight radar is fab! thanks amicissimma
I thought about valium but was a bit worried about being out of it for the first flight with the kids supermoon
Laksa don't worry, I'll be sensible. (I do like tea )
Holy Moly simon Old Hong Kong airport is not something I'll be trying any time soon!

OP posts:

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 03/08/2017 14:40

There is a poster who went by the name of GoldieMumbles . She was an aviation expert based in Australia (iirc)so rational and brilliant. When I had a flash of anxiety her threads were very reassuring.

user1471423145 · 03/08/2017 14:43

I'm also a nervous flier and recently came back from a holiday in Tanzania (2 long flights out and 2 back). All dream liners. And I can honestly say they were the best flights I have ever had. Virtually no turbulence. And if there was it was so gentle that I used my own relaxation which was to think I was on a train and going over the points. As I don't find train travel scary at all, this works for me. I find take off and landing the worst but did benefit from a large g and t before take off this time as we flew late evening.

Good luck and have a great holiday.

Original poster

serendippity · 03/08/2017 14:44

Well done on your flight Hiccupgirl I think I saw on on the fear of flying thread lego put a link for? I was impressed and relieved by your posts when you'd made it!
Stillsatyingclassy I'll do a search, that's great thank you.

OP posts:

Original poster

serendippity · 03/08/2017 14:45

User I feel the same about trains, that may help me, thank you.

OP posts:

theduchessstill · 03/08/2017 14:51

What helped me is something I read in the Alan Carr fear of flying book- that if you really think planes are unsafe you should be scared all the time of one dropping out of the sky where you are. Yet no one fears that, despite us all knowing they are above us all the time. That helped me put things in perspective and bit, and the drinks - one at the airport and one in the sky- are just the enough to keep me calm.

MaidOfStars · 03/08/2017 15:07

I used to avoid any caffeinated drinks on the day of a flight. Not good for nerves. I know tea isn't so bad, but it's still there.

anotherdayanothersquabble · 03/08/2017 16:18

Boots sell Bach flowers... But also health food shops etc

BeyondThePage · 03/08/2017 18:05

rescue remedy and bach flower remedies consist of brandy with a teeeny tiny bit of super-diluted "flower essence" you take 2 drops of it -2 drops - I'd just have a double brandy!

Original poster

serendippity · 03/08/2017 18:28

That made me giggle beyondthepage

OP posts:

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