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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DD contacted Childline

72 replies

ReallyShitUsername · 03/08/2017 11:29

Apologies, this is a new account as I forgot the email address and password for my old one.

DH and I are having a disagreement. On our landline phone, it's showing in the history that a call to Childline was made about 2 weeks ago, after we'd gone to bed. It certainly wasn't us, so it must have been DD (15)
DH wants to go and talk to DD and ask why she phoned, and demand that she talk to him. Personally, I think that if DD wanted to talk to us she would have, and it's great that she had the initiative to ask for help even though not from us.

Who's BU? Do you think we need to talk to DD?

OP posts:
Allthebestnamesareused · 03/08/2017 11:33

I wouldn't confront her outright that she had rung them but I might try to make conversation about whether anything was bothering her at the moment. How were her friends etc? Just to see if it flushes something out but I'd also not push for an answer if it wasn't forthcoming.

MidnightVelvetthe7th · 03/08/2017 11:34

Can you pinpoint anything that might have been going on at the time to prompt the call? Not necessarily with you or DH, could be anything.

Does it specify the length of the call, that would be more telling?

MaisyPops · 03/08/2017 11:36

It could be about anything Eg an issue with friends, needing advice etc.

You could try to see if there's anything going on subtly though.

Must admit I'm surprised it shows on the phone bill. If a child is being harmed and then the harming adult sees child line on the phone bill that could make it worse.

pudcat · 03/08/2017 11:36

How does he know because childline calls are confidential and numbers do not show on bills. "Calls are not recorded and your number won't show up on any phone bills." No child would be safe if an abusive parent could check up on a call to them.

ADayGivingMeHope · 03/08/2017 11:36

Definitely talk to her!
Your her parents and you should be there for her.

Good on her for finding help elsewhere too but you need to find out the problem and help her.

It's a really good idea for you should talk to her alone, I always found it really hard to talk to my dad especially if it's 'girl talk'

Take her out for a meal and that way your in a neutral place, there won't be any scene making and you can hopefully have a good conversation.

Veterinari · 03/08/2017 11:37

Childline calls don't show up on itemised bills.

You've made a mistake or this is not real 🤔

MidnightVelvetthe7th · 03/08/2017 11:37

Oh also, of course your DH can't go & confront her! What if he or you both were the reason why she called them, she's not likely to tell him & it might put her off reaching for help in the future! If she's having problems then she's trying to deal with it rationally & in a sensible way, by all means talk to her but don't mention the call

flickertee · 03/08/2017 11:37

I'm pretty sure childlike number won't show up on your bill.
Have you seen it yourself? Is it definitely the right number?

RelaxMax · 03/08/2017 11:37

I'm puzzled by this - childline calls don't show up on phone bills. What exactly shows on the bill?

cestlavielife · 03/08/2017 11:37

"Demandthat she talk to him"

Is a little telling...does he always demand things? Maybe that is the issue.
It could be for herself she could be concerned aboit a friend

Set up opportunities where dd can talk to you e.g. go for a walk or drive in the car

Demanding she reveal her anxieties or issues probably wont get the answers...

Original poster
ReallyShitUsername · 03/08/2017 11:38

It wasn't on the bill, it's free so it doesn't show up on the bill.
It was on the call history

OP posts:
crrrzy · 03/08/2017 11:38

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

MidnightVelvetthe7th · 03/08/2017 11:38

Ah thanks everyone, I didn't realise they don't show up on bills :)

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 03/08/2017 11:38

What they said about the bills ^^

Floggingmolly · 03/08/2017 11:39

How do you access the call history on a landline?

FreudianSlurp · 03/08/2017 11:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SillyBub · 03/08/2017 11:39

Can you lot not read? OP doesn't say the call was on the phone bill
On our landline phone, it's showing in the history that a call...

LogicalPsycho · 03/08/2017 11:40

Childline does not appear on phone bills, and never has Hmm
That's the entire premise for encouraging a child in danger to talk; knowing that if the person hurting them is a parent, they'll never even know a call was made.

IloveBanff · 03/08/2017 11:40

The OP didn't say that the Childline number was on the phone bill! It said "On our landline phone, it's showing in the history that a call to Childline was made"

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 03/08/2017 11:40

What kind of person checks the call history on their landline?

What kind of person thinks the appropriate course of action when discovering someone has called a helpline is to demand an explanation?

Answer: someone with control issues.

liz70 · 03/08/2017 11:40

"Must admit I'm surprised it shows on the phone bill."

I'm guessing that the OP means that the number is showing in the call record on the phone itself, and perhaps her DP has looked it up and found it to be the CL number.

FreudianSlurp · 03/08/2017 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IloveBanff · 03/08/2017 11:41

Cross-posted with SillyBub

AlpacaPicnic · 03/08/2017 11:42

Our phone at work has a screen display with every number dialled listed in chronological order with date and time, and every incoming call number listed similarly, so I assume OP has a phone like that.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 03/08/2017 11:42

Gosh some of you are rude Hmm

Yes we can read. It wasn't clear and has now been clarified.