Judgy pants hoiked to the max. Dummy

[monkeysox]

On a train. Child about 3-4 dummy in mouth playing eye spy. Can say letters to guess words t for tango for example.

Get it out of his mouth aibu?

He's not upset or sleepy or young enough to need a dummy. His poor teeth.

God, why do you even care? Is your life THAT boring that you feel the need to judge someone you don't know. Or is it just lack of imagination? Well, hopefully some of the replies on here will help with that.

Maybe they were only happy because they had the dummy in ...

It's not particularly unreasonable to think that most dummy users could be asked to remove the dummy when talking. It's difficult for them to make the correct sounds, and to be understood by others.

My daughter had a dummy until she was 5 (only at night after 3 years), she looks like any other child but she has autism. She's now 11 and has perfectly straight teeth.

I don't think it's any of your business why the child had a dummy and not your problem if the child ends up with wonky teeth and speech problems.

But I'd discourage it when out and about.

So how would you do that exactly? And how do you know the parents aren't doing that?

"let's take that out so I can hear you while we play this game." distraction, rewards.
Assuming no send issues?

Yes it's none of my business which is why I didn't say anything to them!

I'm posting an anonymous opinion.

My DD is 4 +5 and still has a dummy, she has ASD and it helps her cope with stressful situations (like train journeys) I'm sure the passengers would much rather her suck a dummy then spend the whole journey having meltdowns.

But WHY would you discourage it?

Because YOU don't like how it looks? Because YOU think the child's too old for it?

Shockingly enough it isn't about you and what you think. It's not your child and not your business.

I've nannied many children who use dummies over the years and they are a comfort item...like thumbs, blankets, teddys...who are you to decide that that child shouldn't be comforted?

I nanny a 3 year old who, when tired or scared or missing mummy, has a dummy. That quite well could've been us on the bus yesterday playing I spy and him talking through the dummy. Taking it away so I "could hear him clearly" would've resulted in a meltdown because he was tired. Playing ispy with it in his mouth means he stay d awake long enough to get home and instead of crying he was comforted and we practiced his phonics...how is that a bad thing?!

And in your OP you say "He's not upset or sleepy or young enough to need a dummy".

How do you know? I'm presuming you know your children well enough to know the signs when they're tired? How on earth do you know this child well enough to know their signs aswell? How about you let their parent get on with their children and you get on with yours?

There is something out there for kids with sn who like to suck or chew- chewellery. I like chewigem, or stimtastic (but they are overseas so products take longer to get to you).

For a child that chews a dummy, the chubes are quite nice because they are hollow so have the bounce back that a dummy does. Or for a sucky child some kind of pendant that they can suck on.

Not your child, not hurting anyone, totally not your business

I sucked my thumb til age 8 and needed braces. I still have an overbite but not as bad

I had a friend who at age 40 still couldn't sleep unless she was sucking her fingers.

Far better to have a dummy that can be taken away!

Oh and my finger sucking friend had a big overbite but no braces cause there was no point while she was still doing it

I tend to go through life not really noticing the most boring and non-dangerous things that other parents do with their children.

Give it a go OP.

I wish I'd known about those chewy things when DS is small. He is NT but chewed through the collar of a brand new winter coat within a week or so. As I mentioned above, he had/has anxiety.

They weren't arouhnd when i was small, i had to use dog chews.

We all parent differently I don't like seeing kids of a certain age with a dummy in just for the sake of it I had one as a kid and had to have braces which ripped the inside of my cheeks to shreds. My ds doesn't have a dummy just because I havnt felt the need to give him one and with nursing it helps to keep his weight at a good increase (when he's not working off his calories trying to commando crawl away from us ) but then I get the he needs a dummy from my dm all the time which gets on my nerves but I don't see that he needs one so he doesn't have one and doesn't suck his thumb either did a little while ago a few times but he now chews on his cuddly toy instead. Each to their own and if no one judged or had an opinion a place like this would be useless

Two of my three had a dummy. The one that didn't will need braces. The other two have perfect teeth.

Not your circus, not your monkeys. I'm sure they might judge what you read/feed/dress/do with your children, it's equally none of their business.

Surely there are more important things to concern yourself with? (Fwiw I have two DS, 1 year old who has a dummy and a 2 year old who has never had one)

I was adamant no dummies at all but mine both did in the end. Eldest had his for sleep only but DS2 had a bigger attachment to his but possibly because he slept a lot more. I always insisted that if he was up and playing/talking it came out as was only for resting/sleeping.

It's not nice to hear little ones trying to talk with dummies in.

I spoke to an orthodontist once who said that dummies don't impact oral development. Im not sure if she meant speech as well.

I judge people who judge things on how they look/ because they don't like seeing them.

My son is almost 4. He has a dummy and blanket at night. Sometimes when he is feeling unwell he has both when we are out. It is mostly kept until bedtime. It never even entered my head some random stranger would take offense. Nor do I care!

His speech is beyond his years, often it is commented on how much older he sounds.

Your point is moot!

I was really anti dummy when ds was born.

When he was 8 weeks old he was critically ill. One of the nurses asked permission to give him a dummy to help regulate his breathing. Of course I said yes.

He became attached to said dummy. Thankfully age 3 he dropped it by himself with no need for intervention from me.

However he is now nearly 8 and is still a chewer, especially when anxious, so often has a "chewigem" or muslin cloth in his mouth (he is autistic with a lot of sensory issues) - not much different to a dummy really!

I'm in my 30s and still bite my fingers for "comfort" so a dummy or something is in someways the lesser of two evils!

DD1 sucked her thumb until nearly 4. Her teeth/jaws were effected but that resolved within a few months of her stopping. DD2 had a dummy up to about 8 months (because we wanted to be able to bin it unlike a thumb) and we got pissed off with it at 8 months so ditched it. She hasn't had one or sucked fingers/thumbs since and only had bottles to 12 months. DD2 does have a problem with her bite and I'm frustrated that having done 'the right thing' second time round we're in a worse place than with DD1.

I suppose what I am saying is that there's no point sweating the small stuff as all children are different and you can beat yourself up trying to get parenting right only for life not to go how you'd planned it.

Like women who smoke in pregnancy, they will always try ll you it was OK because their child was fine....
Older children with dummies.... But my child's teeth/speech are fine....