To ask how much your OH earns if you are a stay at home parent?

[LittleLeif]

Or how much did you have in savings?
This is very very nosey of me but I am trying to figure out if it is viable for me to ever stay at home with my baby. Unfortunately I have to go back to work full time but am hoping to maybe take a career break when she is a two or three.
We are both in jobs where you get opportunities for annually or bi-annually pay rises that can be quite substantial so I'm interested to see if he will be earning enough to support us for a year by then.
TIA

What everyone else said, everyone has their own idea of what they can live of and what they class as comfortable. We've been planning a family and looking at finances. DP earns six figures, I really couldn't give up my wage and have us both love off that as we have pretty expensive tastes and I class holidays and good food as essentials.

My friend's DP earns about 30k. She's a SAHM and they're happy. However they own their home outright, and she's creative and crafty so makes amazing meals and sews clothes for the DC on a shoestring. They do camping holidays in a camper van they converted themselves. So they have an equally beautiful but less expensive lifestyle if that makes sense.

You need to sit down with your DP and work out what you want out of life and the lifestyle you want to lead. Then see if it's possible on one wage.

My late MIL and FIL tested it out by living off FIL's income and saving MIL's before they had a baby.

That was way back in the 60s but still seems a reasonable test. You'd have to calculate if you would be entitled to any extra benefits etc as a result of income decrease.

It makes absolutely no difference as to how much you earn.
Many people need a large salary, due to the cost of housing.
However, if you are fortunate enough to have paid your mortgage off you will need less money.
Then there are different lifestyles and standards of living to consider.
Do you like luxuries, are you the frugal type.

FWIW we had a sahp for 25 years on one min wage and tc top ups.
We are frugal, not into luxuries, own one old car, rarely holiday abroad or in this country.
Have always afforded private tuition in various subjects for dc over the years, along with fees for club membership.etc

I've been a SAHM for the past 4 years and DH earns just under £24k. It's not exactly a luxury lifestyle but my wage would have been the same cost as childcare so it makes sense to stay at home for now.

About 40k. We are in the home counties so living is fairly expensive and property prices ridiculous but we were very lucky to inherit half of our house so mortgage is not as extortionate as most round here. We're both quite happy, simple non-materialistic people. Like I said we are extremely lucky to have a nice house in a nice village but we both drive old bangers (I always said I'd rather drive my child round in an old banger having adventures than drop him off at nursery from a BMW) and we holiday in the U.K. Not interested in labels or status symbols. Giving up work was the best decision I ever made!

Context is far too important here. DH earns 100k but die to the lifestyle choices we have made (live is SE, 2 DCs at public school, large house, desire for overseas holidays) my 90k is also necessary which is grand as I love my job and whilst sometimes dream of being a SAHM it's usually only because I've had a crappy week.

How much does your partner currently earn OP?

I know two types of SAHPs. Ones where the other halves make lots of money and there is no need for a second salary. And another group where they make very little but the cost of childcare outweighs what the SAHP would ever make so it's not worth their while working until the children are much older. No one ever seems in the middle of those! I was a SAHP for years because my DH is a high earner and we had lots of savings.

DH brings home around 25k after paying tax, pension and NI. I had saved just over 12 months salary before leaving work to be sahm.

Its taken 14 years and several children to get through my savings and I'm now going to university to retrain as I've been unable to find work after such a long time away.

We drive old cars and holiday in the UK. The DC have several hobbies which their more wealthy friends driving their bmws and holidaying in Monaco every few months can't afford (according to their parents).

Being a sahp can mean tight budgets and being more cautious about what you spend your money on but it is doable on a fairly low salary. Had I returned to work I would have been bankrupt within a few years as several children in childcare at the same time would have been considerably more than I would have received as a salary.

In my case, it wasn't so much what dh was earning as the fact that my earnings would not have covered childcare.

Fortunately, we are the kind of people who can get a lot of enjoyment out of very little money. Also we had chosen to settle in relatively poor urban area so had no transport costs (dh walked to work and we didn't own a car) and low mortgage. Added benefit that when dc grew older their friends did ot have expensive tastes either. And we both enjoy the creativity of creating good meals from cheap ingredients. And I wore my MIL's cast-offs.

Pensions are a worry, so you should definitely factor in a plan for a) paying into a pension scheme now b) kick-starting your career once dc grow older.

South East commuter belt, 3 kids, big mortgage - DH's take home pay each month can vary between £4K -£7k (just had a large pay rise so upper end of that more often now). I've been a SAHP since having our first child 15 years ago. We don't live extravagantly at all and although it seems, on paper, that we should be 'rich' and swanning around in high end cars and going on foreign holidays, the reality is quite different.

We are paying back quite a bit of debt, drive a nice, but ordinary family car and most holidays are in the U.K. We will be debt free (including the horrific mortgage!) in 8 years. I couldn't earn in a month what my DH earns in a few days so it's never been worth me working - I know I have been extremely lucky to have been able to look after my children and I'm very thankful for that.

I earn a little north of £100k and DH hasn't worked since I earned about £50k. We could manage on less.

The problem is that unless you always save an increasing proportion of your salary from the moment you start working, most people are stuffed if you want to make a drastic lifestyle change like one person stopping working. You build up your lifestyle as your salary increases from first job income levels, a few years' pay rises, things start to feel a bit more comfortable, you meet someone and your two salaries continue to increase, you buy a house and a car maybe two, the mortgage may be cheaper than your rent, no kids yet so you get a nice TV or two, gadgets for the kitchen, nice furniture, you go out for meals, nice holidays etc...
Kids come along and so you have to cut back but everyone's got a level they don't want to go below.
If you suddenly cut a salary out of that you almost have to go right back to how you were living when you were poor and single. I mean we're not talking one less holiday and buy supermarket brand instead of McVities. You can't make a whole salary up out of that. We're probably talking one UK holiday a year, in the autumn or spring becuase summer is to expensive, or camping (but you can't afford the equipment), one old car that you need to keep going for 10 years, second hand clothes and getting suits mended when they rip in the crotch (I'm talking to you DH!!!!), going round several shops for your weekly shop instead of doing it all at one because it's easier, no pay TV, nothing in the way of hobbies that cost money...

This is what I'm trying to get across to my DH at the moment. We aren't cutting out a salary but I'm expecting twins and our childcare will be almost as much as my part time salary between when they are aged 1-3. He thinks we can manage with just a little belt tightening but I know we are going to need a lifestyle overhaul. TBH I know we won't do this, we will tighten our belts and some things will naturally fall by the wayside (no more international holidays with 3 preschoolers...) but we will spend on interest free (hoepfully) credit cards and then pay it all back over the next months and years once the 30 free hours childcare kicks in for them.

FWIW DH earns 65k, I earn 20k from my 3 day a week job and 6k from a sideline (all that is gross), and we have a lodger paying 600 a month. At the moment we are spending all our salary income each month which is shocking, although the lodger's rent is usually all saved. I will need to continue my job while the kids are pre-school for my own sanity but I'm hoping that once they are all at school I can grow my sideline and make enough from that to quit my day job.

Remember some of your costs will go down if you SAH. Things like
Childcare
Commuting to work
Clothes for work
Lunches and coffees and drinks after work
Endless whip rounds for people leaving/being sponsored

And you may well be able to save money by having the time to:
Shop around
Cook cheaper meals
Do your own cleaning and other jobs you might have previously outsourced
Using the book and toy library

I was a SAHM for many years when mine were small. We lived more modestly; ran one car, went on camping holidays, wore decent hand me downs, but we had a really great quality of life. I was able to pick up most the domestic load and we had a lot of lovely chill family time.

I work FT, and with my income, child benefit, and childcare vouchers, we net £2550/month. DH is a temporary SAHP till DS1 is settled in school. We break even most months, eat into savings by £50-100 on others. If it was looking like a longer term arrangement, there are a number of things we could cut back on to be in the black every month, but we're ok with it as it is for now.

The big problem we had was 2 years of infertility so we had those years where we were still spending like 20-something year olds with their first pay packet, (unfortunately coinciding with public sector pay freezes so didn't even have the advantage of two extra years of pay progression). Then the huge cost of IVF to get children, probably about £11k total. Now we have a nice big house which we can afford thankfully, but virtually no savings. Thank god for civil service pensions at least.

I really, really admire those who have the foresight or good financial upbringing to curtail their lifestyle and spending once they are happy with it. We are going to live on DH's salary and save all my maternity pay but still things are going to be tight. Hopefully it will teach us a lesson we can stick with for the rest of our lives because I have no f*cking idea how we are going to afford three children as they grow older and want to go to uni etc.

We have around £2k a month coming in and around £1k going out in bills and mortgage etc. Food we spend around £300-£350 a month, petrol is around £250 a month. I work PT.

My DH earns around 26K and we managed an extra year off after my maternity leave finished on this plus Child Benefit (we did have a few Ks in savings for any emergencys, but thankfully didn't need to touch it). We dropped to one car, have a tiny house with not much mortgage (cheaper than renting) and don't have any additional debt, credit cards, Sky tv, foreign holidays or are particularly materialistic in terms of clothes, phones etc. I could have stopped at home until DS went to school, but the relentless groundhog day/lack of adult company started to drive me mad. I now earn about 7k doing a few hours a week which fit in around school, we're back up to 2 (oldish) cars, and are lucky to have 2 sets of retired grandparents within a stone's throw for childcare.

net income is 3600 a month. we pay 1000 mortgage. I still work as I worked hard to get into my role as I enjoy it. I do part time as it's the best of both. my dd starts school this month... it's been a quick few years and now I'd be unlikely to get back into my current level as my skills would be outdated. and then what would I do with five days a week

You are looking at it from the wrong way round! Do you know what your monthly total outgoings are? Not just what you have left over at the end of the month, but what you both spend now on things you need to spend money on, vs what is 'fun' spending.

I would say for a 'comfortable' lifestyle, I would want at least £500 a month left over after all the 'need to spend' stuff is spent - that includes food & petrol - so you can both have a personal spend budget and some to save. Ideally more like £1k so you can add to savings. But that's us, we both like to be able to have the occasional lunch out or pick up a new pair of shoes without it needing to be budgetted for.

Work out what your actual outgoings are, then what you both like to spend. Work out what will be left over and divide by 3, 1/3 each for personal spending and 1/3 for saving. Does that sound reasonable or a struggling lifestyle?

Sorry; don't mean to be rude, but you need to look at your situation, surely??

Not a SAHP but we would manage on 30k and be comfortable enough on 35k. Not lavish, but the bills would all be paid.

That information, however, is of no use at all to you because you have no idea if your outgoings are similar to ours. You also need to factor in the number of children involved, and their ages.

... God tips for things to think about from Tinkly

My OH earns 27k but our house is provided by the organisation he works for so no rent, if we had to pay rent then I would have to of returned to work full time.
Although I do a bit of work from home which contributes to extras such as holidays, and goes into savings incase of emergencies (car trouble etc)

Take home is about £3K pm, just over £2K goes straight out on mortgage, tax, utility bills etc, food is budgeted, rarely go out, the annual family holiday (whole family normally in the inlaws home country) screws us up for months....
If I worked, all my wages would go on child care for 3 DC.
I have no career as such, I know some people are working to cover child care who are in a career and cannot take a lengthy break from it.
Do what works for you.