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AIBU?

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Original poster

Little girls should not wear bikinis

270 replies

SpiritedLondon · 01/08/2017 22:06

On Saturday I'm heading off on holiday with my DH and DD5. I have bought DD a new swimsuit and a bikini which I obviously think is cute. I happened to mention this to FIL who was visiting and who immediately announced in front of DD that little girls should not wear bikinis.( he didn't like it and didn't think it was appropriate) I was slightly Hmm about it. Later on that evening I raised the subject with DH and it became apparent that he doesn't really like the idea either....he kept making comments like " it does have a long top doesn't it?" Er no not really. Is this a thing? I don't really think it's a problem and I don't actually think I'm being unreasonable but if you think I am do you think you could tell me what you think the problem is so I can understand it.

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OP posts:
Mycarsmellsoflavender · 01/08/2017 22:27

There's nothing offensive about that bikini. However, i would bought a UV suit instead which covers shoulders, back of the neck and at least some of the arms - these are the bits that get the most sun exposure apart from the face.

Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 01/08/2017 22:27

I think it's nice.

I have a photo of me as a toddler in a bikini nearly 30 years ago. Don't see the harm. I probably just wanted to dress up like mummy.

Original poster
SpiritedLondon · 01/08/2017 22:27

Just to say I don't really mind her just wearing the bottoms at all but they don't really sell the bottoms on their own in the UK. Also, the place we're going to is not that hot 22 - 25 degrees max and I will be covering her up as appropriate when necessary.

OP posts:
LockedOutOfMN · 01/08/2017 22:27

haba Good point. Huge generalisation but yes I think puberty or at least physical development is later here in Spain than in UK although obviously I've only got the kids at my school, neighbours and my own children's friends to base this assumption on. Also clothes sizes / styles in the children's shops - certainly the average child here is smaller than in U.K. DS is 9 and all of his female classmates were still in bikini bottoms at the end of term residential and water park trip. I imagine by next year most will have moved on to one piece suits though.

bouncydog · 01/08/2017 22:27

I really can't see that there is a problem. We all wore bikinis from the age of 3 50 years ago. IMO I would rather see little girls in appropriate bikinis than running around with no top on. It's lovely, entirely appropriate for her age and she will love it.

AtHomeDadGlos · 01/08/2017 22:29

I agree with your DH and FIL. Totally unnecessary on a child.

Cantseethewoods · 01/08/2017 22:30

I don't get the "it implies something needs covering up" argument as you could say the same thing about a one piece costume, otherwise all pre-pubescent girls would just wear swim shorts.

Bonadrag1988 · 01/08/2017 22:31

I'm guessing little girls just want to wear what older girls are wearing to 'fit in' or be on trend or just to emulate their mums/older sisters/peers? I don't think it's about covering 'rude bits', and if it is that's a horrible message to teach little girls? That any parts of their body are 'rude'. We should teach them from day one to wear what they want and if someone is sexualising a child then that is 100% their problem, not her problem.

dementedpixie · 01/08/2017 22:32

Much easier to pee with bikini pants than dragging a wet swimsuit down.

haba · 01/08/2017 22:33

Lockedout- that's true, Spanish clothing labels are always v small compared with uk- my DS is 8, and v v slight, 50th centile for height, yet wears 11-12 Zara. DD (11) is tall and in 13-14 Zara. Not sure what % of Spanish children are overweight or obese, but I think that has a bearing on it re UK children.

BlackStars · 01/08/2017 22:33

I put mine in a Uv vest and shorts but:

I don't think little girls should wear bikinis. Why wear the top part when they don't have breasts?

Most 'girl' swimsuits have a top part so I can't see how it's any different really. As long as it's a crop top & shorts style (rather than a triangle effort) I really can't see what there is to get upset about.

Purplepicnic · 01/08/2017 22:33

I don't like it. A bikini has two purposes over a swimming costume - to look better/sexier and to get more of an all over tan. Neither of those are needed for little girls.

Bibs2014 · 01/08/2017 22:34

I don't like it either. Bikinis unnecessary on little girls. Sorry.

egginacup · 01/08/2017 22:35

My DDs both have bikinis but not the string-style ones. For the main reason they wouldn't be practical at all. If it's really hot they wear them with a rash vest over the top. Much easier for going to the loo.

I assume anyone who thinks they are 'not appropriate' also thinks one-pieces for girls are not appropriate either?! As they are both designed to cover up, and based on adult women's styles.

MissAlligned · 01/08/2017 22:37

dragging a wet swimsuit down who the hell drags a costume down. You just pull it aside did your mum not teach you anything?!

paxillin · 01/08/2017 22:37

How about granddads shouldn't announce what little girls should or shouldn't wear?

dementedpixie · 01/08/2017 22:38

I always found it awkward especially if you then had to get toilet roll in there too. Easier to have pants tbh

MissAlligned · 01/08/2017 22:38

I assume anyone who thinks they are 'not appropriate' also thinks one-pieces for girls are not appropriate either?! As they are both designed to cover up, and based on adult women's styles.

You assume correctly. My DD wears either all in one 'surf' suit or swim trunks/shorts. As does my DS.

TheFairyCaravan · 01/08/2017 22:38

I can't see the problem with them, although I would put my children in rash vests if they were younger.

I grew up in the 70s and me and my sister wore bikinis on holiday, and at home in the garden, from when we were very small.

Cantseethewoods · 01/08/2017 22:39

How about granddads shouldn't announce what little girls should or shouldn't wear?

Sing it

Original poster
SpiritedLondon · 01/08/2017 22:41

if we forget the argument about sun protection then, what some people are saying is that a bikini is intrinsically a sexual thing in their mind?? Is that it? I clearly don't subscribe to that view and glad to see I'm not the only one.

OP posts:
Greenifer · 01/08/2017 22:42

I am quite old and wore string bikinis as a child. I honestly do not think it made any difference at all to me. I am a proud feminist and now on the beach wear whatever the hell I like as long as appropriate for the local culture. Happy in a swimsuit, happy topless, happy in a bikini. The bikini above looks fine for a little girl to me.

And not everyone needs to worry about sun exposure that much. Lots of people do have heritage/melanin production that means they won't burn unless really extreme. I've never bought DD one of those rashie things. They look really uncomfortable, either skin tight or awful wet flappy material dragging around, and she doesn't need it. A bit of sun lotion is plenty to stop her burning.

EmmyInTheSticks · 01/08/2017 22:43

I wouldn't put dd in a bikini. It's no big deal really but it feels slightly inappropriate.

I'd go with a one piece, tankini or just bottoms or a rash vest and bottoms. It's the tiny bra top bikinis you see which are a bit icky imo.

lionsleepstonight · 01/08/2017 22:43

Just like big girls, i.e. women, little girls should wear what they like.
And certainly not what FILs demand.

mummyretired · 01/08/2017 22:43

I think it looks lovely for a 5 year old, I had something similar as a small child in the 60s. Agree it's much easier in the toilet - and to change into and out of - than a one-piece.