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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nasty friend AIBU to completely cut her out of my life

94 replies

Sophie333 · 01/08/2017 17:37

My only friend for over 10 years has sent me such a nasty spiteful text ive ever recieved literally fuming my OH is telling me not to lower myself to her super low levels i messaged her letting her know one of our friends is expecting a child she replies with this-Oh cool and oh well another girls life fucked from having a baby all your life's are jokes mate for the next 20 old years fuck that shit mum this mum that i want this I want that fuck off mate I won't my womb taken the fuck out or I'm getting my tubes tied at least my pussy is gonna be tight for life unlike women's with baby big sagging curtains fuck that that's why your men are always gonna cheat cause they want something tighter fact of life lol x - she actually had the audacity to leave a x at the end wtf what would you do i literally dont want nothing to do with her i dont need that sort of negativity and pure hatefulness in my life

OP posts:
Mittens1969 · 01/08/2017 18:39

It just sounds like she's quite immature and you've moved on with your life. The friendship might have run its course, that happens, or not be the same again.

I would agree that she might have been drunk when she sent the text, though. Has she ever sent bizarre texts before?

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 01/08/2017 18:39

she was fantastic until the day my son finally came home from neonatal after 2 long months she asked to stay at mine i said no as it was my first night home alone with him no nurses i wanted it to be just us 3 just been nasty from then on

Maybe, just maybe she felt part of your family? She'd also emotionally invested in you during this time, and I dare say felt she'd continue to be helpful and supportive once you were bringing the baby home?

But that's no excuse whatsoever for that email.

Original poster
Sophie333 · 01/08/2017 18:44

She wasnt drunk i spoke to her 5 minutes after that message she called me telling me to watch some programme top of the lake like nothing had happened i told her my son hasnt ruined my life if anything hes made it better to which she said you'll think that now wait til hes walking then tried talking to me again about the programme i just hung up thanks for everyones comments and advice i dont feel so guilty now ive had to sacrifice a lot i mean a lot for our friendship wasnt allowed other friends or a boyfriend my OH is my first relationship and the only man ive ever been with it was when i was with him i realised shes not really a friend even he said its like she owns me before i was with him she was a really nice person she still is in someways towards animals and less unfortunate people always donate money to charities and weve been through a lot as teenagers always had each others back she just gets me depressed now like when she comes round she just moans or when i tell her my son has gained another skill like he can sit up shes just says yeah babies can do that its always down and shitty ive been thinking for a while now i need to cut her off this has just confirmed it but im going to do it in a nice way to respect the friendship we did have and just focus on my family thats my life now and always will be

OP posts:
paxillin · 01/08/2017 18:59

I'd probably text back "Why are you so reserved, you don't want to bottle it all up like that". Then I'd delete the number.

A tight foof doesn't feature high on my list when choosing friends.

Gazelda · 01/08/2017 19:05

Text her acrossthepond's message. Polite, to the point and brooks no argument.

Don't get sucked back in, just accept that you've both. Over in different directions and her beliefs don't fit with your family life.

BoneyBackJefferson · 01/08/2017 19:07

It doesn't excuse the message but it must be hard being the one that everyone bows down to and then losing that. She does sound like one of the mean girls/heathers.

WhineCellar · 01/08/2017 19:09

Couldn't be bothered to decipher OP due to an almost total lack of punctuation.

PyongyangKipperbang · 01/08/2017 19:11

You werent "allowed" other friends or a boyfriend?!

Why on earth didnt you tell her to fuck off?! Who the hell does she think she is?!

JackTwist · 01/08/2017 19:16

Couldn't be bothered to decipher OP due to an almost total lack of punctuation

So now what?

SongforSal · 01/08/2017 19:21

She's at a different point in her life OP, and sounds like a prat. I once had a 'friend' who refused to hold my new born, whilst muttering something about babies being stupid. Her text to you, was so bloody insulting, and mocked what you have as a mother with your child, if it were me I would send her a text (well worded) then block her.

Well....I'd possibly be a dick myself actually to get the final word in and send something like this.

''Sorry you believe procreation is synonymous with a 'girls' life being fucked. I thought you would be pleased for our friend. Do you think I am 'Fucked' because I am in love and have a child? Sorry you seem so concerned about the condition of vaginas after giving birth. They are actually designed for that...Would you like me to send you some basic biology links? Don't worry about my life being 'Jokes' mate. I love it, and am looking forward to the next 20yrs without YOU in it.''

itstoolateforthisbollox · 01/08/2017 19:24

Full stops, OP. Sentences!

BabsGanoush · 01/08/2017 19:27

paxillin Grin

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 01/08/2017 19:28

A simple "Thanks for letting me know how you feel. It's obvious we are not on the same 'life path'. I wish you well on yours."

Then block her and/or delete her.

I think this is perfect except you've spoken to her since so I might start with "I've been thinking about the text you sent about X's pregnancy"

PyongyangKipperbang · 01/08/2017 19:29

Manners, itstoolate. Drop the attitude!

Bambamrubblesmum · 01/08/2017 19:31

Is it possible she's a teeny bit in love with you? Sounds like someone spurned. Plus the not allowing other relationship sounds very controlling.

Regardless this is not a good person to have around your family unit.

MissionItsPossible · 01/08/2017 19:43

Full stops should be your friend. This woman shouldn't.

Anxietyreallyblows · 01/08/2017 20:12

She sounds best left in the past. Not a pleasant person for you or your family.

junebirthdaygirl · 01/08/2017 21:10

Sounds like she has mental health issues but that is not your concern. This is probably a good point to part ways.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/08/2017 21:14

It seems to me like shes jealous and hurting really badly. Not saying its an excuse. More a reason.
There's got to be a back story.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/08/2017 21:14

It seems to me like shes jealous and hurting really badly. Not saying its an excuse. More a reason.
There's got to be a back story.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 01/08/2017 21:15

It seems to me like shes jealous and hurting really badly. Not saying its an excuse. More a reason.
There's got to be a back story.

SomethingOnce · 01/08/2017 22:40

The least MN OP ever, followed by:

Perhaps she's just not all that interested in babies or who is having them.

I laughed so loudly I woke DS. Masterful use of understatement Grin

fannydaggerz · 01/08/2017 22:46

Something going on in her life or not, she's a rude bitch.

It's up to you if you want to message back, I would if it was me that received that.

Mittens1969 · 01/08/2017 23:42

She sounds really controlling, if you made sacrifices for her! Not having other friends or boyfriends before this one, that's not how a friendship should be at all! I think she's reacting like this because she's no longer able to control you.

Sad to say, she's jealous of your DS. She needs help with her issues but she's not your responsibility, OP.

AuntyElle · 01/08/2017 23:52

WhineCellar, you need a comma after 'OP':

"Couldn't be bothered to decipher OP, due to an almost total lack of punctuation."

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