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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

....my best friend has an exceptionally attar give brother

24 replies

justadentistfromfulham · 01/08/2017 01:18

I've grown up with my best friend and his brother. Never ever fancied him. He's come back from doing 6 years engineering work in Thailand and there's just something that I never saw before.
I Find him insanely attractive and I cannot function in his presence.

I'm not too bad in a group but I cannot talk to him directly even then. I go bright red and go blank.

I have tried a few times to talk to him one on one but we're both incredibly shy with each other and blush stupidly. It's now at the stage where I feel like my jaw is physically locked in place when I see him. I cannot speak!

I don't drink but when he was drunk he came over to me and kept hugging me Blush

I think he likes me but while I think he finds me physically attractive I've no idea if he's actually interested as he's only 26 and I have a child so I reckon that would put him off.

Should I just leave trying to chat to him and make anything happen?

OP posts:
Original poster
justadentistfromfulham · 01/08/2017 01:18

attractive !!!!

Mumsnet need an edit post button.

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 01/08/2017 01:32

Why would you just leave it? If you're both single and you think he finds you attractive too then why not pursue it?

winglesspegasus · 01/08/2017 02:10

what assassinated said
obvious you know him
he surely knows you have a child?

Babybeesmama · 01/08/2017 02:13

Go for it! You only live once! You never know he could be mr right! X

Birdsgottaf1y · 01/08/2017 02:23

Hugging you when drunk isn't an indication of anything, except him thinking a woman is there for when he wants her, which he would have had in Thailand.

Get to re-know him as the man he is today, don't overlook any faults just because he's really good looking , unless you just want a fling.

Euripidesralph · 01/08/2017 02:46

Sorry because he hugged her when drunk he's a misogynist who uses women as objects just as every single man in Thailand does?

Get help.....now !

Op give it a shot retreats are far worse than embarrassment

confoozed · 01/08/2017 05:36

birdsgottafly what?!! Alcohol lowers inhibitions and so a drunken shy person can be more demonstrative and less risk averse that is all. Hugs when drunk doesn't necessarily mean he is a sexist pig who uses women. I do believe that men can fear getting their heartsbroken as well as women. But equally some drunk people just want sex.. However, the OP is already not taking drunken hugs to be an indicator of anything particular which is why she is asking on here.

I think your advice about getting to know him is spot on though. Lust can make us really foolish Blush

OP I remember that feeling a few times :) its great! If he's a nice bloke, you should go for it!

embo1 · 01/08/2017 05:59

Go for it!!!

HooplaLoopla1 · 01/08/2017 06:15

Another one saying fill your boots!

user1497480444 · 01/08/2017 06:18

does he have a nice personality?

kateandme · 01/08/2017 06:19

ask him for a coffee?meal?ask best friend to invite him to a meal.they could go too.
don't overthink it.
don't underthink it
go with the flow.
be sure because of your child but not so it cancels fun.

Sgtmajormummy · 01/08/2017 06:40

It sounds like 6 years ago you'd known each other since childhood and there was an "incest taboo" thing going on with your best friend's brother.

Now he's back as a different person he's fair game so why not gove it a go? Maybe talk to your best friend first- you don't want to lose her in the process.

Sgtmajormummy · 01/08/2017 06:41
  • give
Boredboredboredboredbored · 01/08/2017 06:43

Birdsgottaf1y Tue 01-Aug-17 02:23:20
Hugging you when drunk isn't an indication of anything, except him thinking a woman is there for when he wants her, which he would have had in Thailand.

What a ridiculous assumption!! Couldnt be that he was just pleased to see an old friend Confused

Go for it OP like pp he may be the one!

Original poster
justadentistfromfulham · 01/08/2017 07:56

He's religious so no chance of him using women for sex.

I think he fancies me and yes he knows I have a child and had met child.

I'm not sure if that would put him off

OP posts:
vjg13 · 01/08/2017 08:12

"He's religious so no chance of him using women for sex."

Also a ridiculous assumption! Follow the above advice on taking it slowly and get to know him.

DonaldStott · 01/08/2017 08:22

Hugging you when drunk isn't an indication of anything, except him thinking a woman is there for when he wants her, which he would have had in Thailand

Jesus christ. You don't know many nice men do you?

lmer · 01/08/2017 08:52

I hug everyone when I'm drunk- I can assure you it's nothing to do with making sure someone's there when I want them, just drunk me being friendly

Sunshinegirls · 01/08/2017 08:56

Would a relationship with him affect your friendship with your best friend?

BasedOnTrueEvents · 01/08/2017 08:56

He's religious so no chance of him using women for sex.

Be careful. Whstbhe sad and what he does may not be the same thing

You say that he's very attractive. What else do you like about him?

BasedOnTrueEvents · 01/08/2017 08:57

stupid phone what he says*

ThePants999 · 01/08/2017 09:25

@Birdsgottaf1y thanks for making my day with one of the most hilariously ridiculous things I've ever read :-D

BlurryFace · 01/08/2017 13:22

Birdsgottaf1y, that's utterly ridiculous. I have had more random women drunkenly hug me than I've had men, do they all think women are there for when they need them or are they just merry, cuddly drunks?

OP if you think he fancies you, make a move. Just be mindful of your friendship with his sister. If he's a good man he will be mindful of her feelings as well.

Jaxhog · 01/08/2017 13:57

Ask his DS if he's seeing anyone at the moment. Better she knows that you're interested now. And you do need to know.

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