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Original poster

wwyd, who pays for new bridesmaid outfit?!

70 replies

user1466690252 · 31/07/2017 23:10

i am getting married soon with 6 bridesmaids. All have had a years notice and I have paid fot everything for them. 10 months ago i asked for dress sizes to order and have made for them. I double checked sizes all ok. 2 months before all bar one have said they won't fit, they have put on weight or not lost the weight they had planned on. This is annoying, but it's my special day so what they do with their lives is their business, but, Do I need to rebuy outfits that fit them or do they pay for it as I went by exactly what they gave me mesurment wise and everyone knew the sizes I was odering in. If I am asking them to but there own, how do I go about telling them as I don't want to offend them about their size, it doesn't matter, I am just annoyed I have to buy whole new outfits because of something that isn't my fault.

OP posts:
Janeinthemiddle · 31/07/2017 23:13

They will have to pay for it for sure! You have enough to pay for already!

itsbetterthanabox · 31/07/2017 23:14

I told my bridesmaid to order the bigger size and that they couldn't buy to diet into. I wasn't paying to be diet motivation.
They should pay for alterations.
I've been a bridesmaid too and I made sure I fit the dress.

Janeinthemiddle · 31/07/2017 23:14

Oh and I'll just tell that person that you have no budget for a new dress for her and ask her to get it altered at her own expense as you can't afford it.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 31/07/2017 23:15

You shouldn't have to buy all new outfits. They can pay for them to be altered or they can buy another dress.

Original poster
user1466690252 · 31/07/2017 23:15

I'm thinking this but don't know how to bring it up, I Dont want to make them feel bad but I double checked sizes and have pushed back fittings because they kept reassuring me they will get into them when the time comes. we have run out of time to loose the amount they need to realistically

OP posts:
doodlejump1980 · 31/07/2017 23:16

Sack them all and sell the dresses. 5 out of six dresses won't fit? That's going to be the best part of a grand yes? Could they be altered - at THEIR expense?

itsbetterthanabox · 31/07/2017 23:17

Surely they know they don't fit? What did you say when they tried them on again and they didn't fit?

MargotsDevil · 31/07/2017 23:18

Could you swap dresses between them? Would that help at all?

Original poster
user1466690252 · 31/07/2017 23:22

one said "that won't fit we will need a bigger size" 2 said "we will loose it in 2 months" 1 said they will squeeze into it and the other one said can I wait till the week before to alter it. It's so stressful as I guess we could wait but they are my friends so I know so far they have made 0 effort to diet so realistically they won't start now. which is fine for them, but not really for my needs to get things sorted now.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1466690252 · 31/07/2017 23:23

yea we coukd swap between 2 but not all of them. a family member has worked so hard in making them all, really hard with loads of effort

OP posts:
EllaNB · 31/07/2017 23:23

Swapping dresses could be an idea. I was a bridesmaid and a couple of the other bridesmaids ended up swapping due to pregnancies and weight loss.

I can't believe that 5 out of 6 won't fit in their dress. It's always best to order a dress to big and have it taken in if you do lose the weight, where as you can usually only have a dress taken out a maximum of an inch if it's to small.

They can't expect you to buy them all a second dress?

moonpie11 · 31/07/2017 23:25

I would just give them to them as they are and just confirm with them that they have been made to the sizes you were given. Once they realise they don't fit then I'm sure they would take them to get them altered themselves without you having to have any awkward conversations with them about it. If any come back and say that they don't fit just say something along the lines of, ' oh that's a shame, I did definitely double-check the measurements. There is a great place on XXXX that is supposed to be great for alterations, maybe worth taking it in there.'

WatchingFromTheWings · 31/07/2017 23:27

I'd be tempted to tell them to swop dresses around. Those that can fit in a dress will be bridesmaid, everyone else gets demoted. I'd certainly not be paying for new dresses! Confused

Original poster
user1466690252 · 31/07/2017 23:30

2 are due to pregnancy so I totally understand that. one has actually put on weight so the original actual size wont do up and one hasnt lost enough to feel comfortable. It does fit, but she says she feels uncomfortable and another half a stone woikd help. the last one promised and promised she wanted this size and was sure but she hasn't even tried to get into it really and I'm so annoyed wirh myself I caved and didn't order her actual size. they would all look beautiful at their sizes now if only the bloody things fitted

OP posts:
DontTouchTheMoustache · 31/07/2017 23:30

It can be tricky though, my friend asked me to be a bridesmaid a year before her wedding but I had just given birth so I have generally always been a 10 but was at that point a 14 so I genuinely had no idea what to tell her as I hoped to be a 10 but had no idea where I wpuld be in a year's time. Incidentally I optimistically said 10 (hormone maďness) and now have 4 weeks to lose a dress size...
Point is that a year's notice is actually too much for some people, as annoying and unhelpful as that is

HeebieJeebies456 · 31/07/2017 23:31

Either they pay to get them altered or swap - any that don't fit will have to stand down as bm.

Original poster
user1466690252 · 31/07/2017 23:34

They knew about being bridesmaid a year ago, the dress process was done about 7 months ago. I honestly dont care about their size I want them to habe a good day and have spent alot to make sure they have a great day as I want to thank them for being great friends over the years. It has backfired a bit as I should of been more forceful in the :not beong diet motivation" as a pp said

OP posts:
crazywriter · 31/07/2017 23:38

All but one of my bridesmaids fit into theirs. The one that didn't told me she was 2 sizes smaller than she was and the others ordered up or purposely measured themselves and they told me they'd get them altered down to fit if needed (only one actually had to because the others ordered just right). The one that said the smaller size ended up paying for her own alterations. It wasn't really up for discussion as it was her fault for giving me the wrong size (and I double and triple helped with her).

If you already checked with them before getting the dresses made, alterations are definitely up to them but making bigger is much harder than making smaller.

FluffyWhiteSlippers · 31/07/2017 23:38

Can you get all the dresses together? Maybe one of the original ones will now fit a different lady. Minimise the cost a bit.

rockcake · 31/07/2017 23:38
  • any that don't fit will have to stand down as bm.

I agree with this, above. Keep the dresses your family member has worked so hard on and if necessary find a new bridesmaid or two.

stella23 · 31/07/2017 23:39

You poor things that's really hard, are the made from scratch from your friend or has she altered them?
If they are all too small rather than too big could you not put a panel in the back/piece of lace?

stella23 · 31/07/2017 23:39

Do you have a picture of a similar style?

Sisinisawa · 31/07/2017 23:41

Can you get them altered to corset backs? That usually helps give extra room. They pay though definitely.

Original poster
user1466690252 · 31/07/2017 23:41

thanks everyone great advice. Im going to get them all together with dresses and get them to try on/swap and do the "oh no! hear is the number for the alts person" it's pretty unanimous I'm not being unreasonable in not paying for new ones

OP posts:
donajimena · 31/07/2017 23:42

I've never been a bridesmaid. I've always wanted to be one. I'm a size 10 if I can be of help Wink