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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wedding etiquette fuck-up

61 replies

Pombearsandnaiceham · 31/07/2017 22:42

Was watching Don't Tell The Bride with a close friend and her DP, who are about to get married. Her DP hasn't seen her wedding dress yet.

We got to the bit in DTTB where the bride is trying on different dresses, and stupid, stupid me pipes up: 'ooh, your dress is quite similar, isn't it?'

Luckily, her DP was sort of facing away from the screen, but I wonder how much he cottoned on and what he'll remember of what I said. My comment did upset the bride-to-be though, absolutely understandably.

Fuck's sake - I've really fucked up, haven't I??

Why am I such a twat???

OP posts:
JemmyBloocher · 31/07/2017 22:44

That's such a little thing. Seriously if she is massive upset then she's over-egging that omelette. You said similar and he probably wasn't even looking. You aren't a twat, it was an honest mistake.

PovertyJetset · 31/07/2017 22:44

Ah shite!

It's done know- shame your BTB didn't style it out and say something. But there you go!

I doubt he's registered it, and may well
Have the foresight to make out he didn't hear a thing.

AbbeyRoadCrossing · 31/07/2017 22:46

It's a tiny thing to be upset about. He didn't see it. It's a similar dress not the same dress as let's face it most dresses are fairly samey unless it's a very unusual one? I wouldn't worry about it.

GinaFordCortina · 31/07/2017 22:48

Oh was it fluffy and white?
Meh.

Unless it was a glittery red affair it's all pretty standard. She's being very precious. He's not meant to see her in the dress, he's not forbidden from knowing how many layers of organza it has.

Also, he doesn't care. Only she cares. Literally no one else cares about the brides dress.

BabsGanoush · 31/07/2017 22:49

He won't be interested and won't remember what her dress even looks like the day after.

DonaldStott · 31/07/2017 22:51

Nah, don't worry about it.

thedevilwearsbarbour · 31/07/2017 22:52

A similar thing happened to me. Two weeks before the wedding, watching DTTB with DH then Dfiance who remarked 'god I hope you don't go for something like that'.
Reader, it was the exact same dress.

GinaFordCortina · 31/07/2017 22:56

the debil GrinShock

What happened when he saw you in it? Did you say anything at the time?

thedevilwearsbarbour · 31/07/2017 22:57

I mentioned it to him later that evening and he claimed to have no recollection and said I looked gorgeous 😒 who knows if he meant it but it was too late to change it

CoughLaughFart · 31/07/2017 23:01

GrinGrinGrin Sorry Barbour, I had to laugh at that!

OP - someone will come along to tell me I'm being sexist, but most men wouldn't know one wedding dress from another. I very much doubt he'd even noticed what the one on screen looked like.

Floggingmolly · 31/07/2017 23:03

He probably won't have actually cared that much...

Brie · 31/07/2017 23:03

blokes don't really notice dresses much, wouldn't worry about it.

GinaFordCortina · 31/07/2017 23:05

thedevil I hope you were able to see the funny side at the timeas I do now Grin

AnnieAnoniMouse · 31/07/2017 23:06

Oh dear god, how old is she?

I doubt her OH was paying the slightest bit of attention & even if he was unless the wedding is tomorrow he's not going to remember it and she will look totally different in it anyway.

If she's still sulking about it, chuck her a grip.

TypicallyEnglishMustard · 31/07/2017 23:09

Bit of a dick move, to be honest.

MsVestibule · 31/07/2017 23:10

I bet the only reason my DH has any clue what I wore on our wedding day (TBF, it was 8 years ago) is because there's a photo in our living room.

Presumably you apologised? If so, just don't mention it again. Seriously, in the whole scheme of things, it really doesn't matter. Is she still being a bit frosty?

Ohyesiam · 31/07/2017 23:13

I had a partner who was a photographer. I used to vaguely muse about why all brides wear the same dress. Either a straight white fluffy thing, or a big white fluffy thing.

Floggingmolly · 31/07/2017 23:13

He won't be able to pick it out of a lineup even after looking at her in it all day tomorrow. What a fuss about bugger all.

MissionItsPossible · 31/07/2017 23:13

Not worth falling out over but a bit of a foot in mouth moment. I'd have cringed at myself OP!

LeMesmer · 31/07/2017 23:15

Don't worry about it, I doubt DH could have told you mine was like the day after, just not that interested. Years late he probably doesn't even remember the colour white

Your friend is being a bit silly to be upset.but I probably would have been as well at that time, not knowing having the benefit of hindsight when it comes to groom dress blindness. Just say how sorry you are and reassure her he didn't even see, he can't have been that interested in the programme and dresses if he wasn't watching - but of course he will be very interested in her dress.

Fernanie · 31/07/2017 23:16

I emailed my now-MIL a couple photos of me trying on wedding dresses to get her opinion; for some unfathomable reason she cc'd my now-DH into her reply! Confused I was a bit annoyed but wasn't massively attached to any of them so had a look for a few more. Ended up borrowing a lovely vintage one with sentimental value from a relative but my sister accidentally blurted it out to DH a couple days before the wedding! I mostly felt awful for how awful she felt. It's not that big a deal.

Crumbs1 · 31/07/2017 23:22

The only person actually interested in the brides dress (apart from seamstress making it or shop selling it) is the bride and possibly her mother. Nobody will remember it unless its extremely different - say black leather.

HeddaGarbled · 31/07/2017 23:23

It was a little bit of a faux pas, and let's face it we've all said slightly tactless things on occasions. But it genuinely isn't that big a deal. He was 'sort of facing away from the screen' because he isn't the slightest bit interested in wedding dresses. When she does the reveal on the day, he'll gasp and say she looks beautiful because he knows that's expected of him, but he will not notice the dress in any sort of detail.

I can understand you wanting to bite your tongue and the bride to be being very temporarily slightly miffed but it genuinely isn't a massive deal.

MissAlligned · 31/07/2017 23:27

Don't sweat it. He could have been glued to the screen, the dress could have been exactly the same and come wedding day he won't remember.

Really, what bloke notices the difference between one white wedding dress or another?

FluffyWhiteSlippers · 31/07/2017 23:27

The man knows she's wearing a wedding dress right? Pretty sure they all look the same to him, so hardly a massive surprise even if he did clock your comment.