Wedding etiquette fuck-up

[Pombearsandnaiceham]

Was watching Don't Tell The Bride with a close friend and her DP, who are about to get married. Her DP hasn't seen her wedding dress yet.

We got to the bit in DTTB where the bride is trying on different dresses, and stupid, stupid me pipes up: 'ooh, your dress is quite similar, isn't it?'

Luckily, her DP was sort of facing away from the screen, but I wonder how much he cottoned on and what he'll remember of what I said. My comment did upset the bride-to-be though, absolutely understandably.

Fuck's sake - I've really fucked up, haven't I??

Why am I such a twat???

He was in the room, sycamore, but was so uninterested he'd turned his face away from the screen. All this nonsense, and he very, very likely didn't see a thing, even if he'd been interested.
Which I doubt.

Sycamore - if the dh was glued to the screen in silence then that would be more of a faux pas but from what op said he wasn't really paying any attention...

My DH helped me pick out my dress. He has excellent taste and I could trust him to be honest. I personally don't understand the tradition of groom not seeing it but if that's what they're doing then it was a bit of a clunker... The sort of thing I would do though!

"My comment did upset the bride-to-be though"

That's a bit bridezilla of her tbh

Are people reading different OPs to me? Op was watching it WITH friend and groom, after OP said her bit, he was "sort-of facing away" - to me this says he was indeed watching it and looked away after the OP said her piece, possibly because he knew the bride didn't want him to see her dress. In any case, the OP did upset her friend, telling the friend that nobody cares what she looks like on her wedding day and that it is extremely unlikely her husband will even remember what she looks like seems pretty harsh and not a very friend-like thing to do.

Nobody has said nobody cares what the bride will look like on her wedding day, OR her husband won't remember what she looks like, sycamore
Do you have a comprehension problem? Give it a rest.

In any case, the OP did upset her friend, telling the friend that nobody cares what she looks like on her wedding day and that it is extremely unlikely her husband will even remember what she looks like seems pretty harsh and not a very friend-like thing to do.

Sycamore, I most definitely didn't say that. Where in my OP does it suggest that I said that?

If it makes you feel better OP I put my foot in it too.
I was speaking with someone I used to attend a group with, her husband was doing the same course as I at college, but a different year, and he works with someone in my class and she told me it was his cousin G.

We'd been talking about weddings previously as she was looking in a kilt hire shop window when I bumped into her. I said oh so you'll be doing all this again in December then won't you, at G's wedding?

Blank looks... no they aren't getting married.. you must be mixed up.

Except I'm not, we all in the class know she is getting married, she just didn't mention it was a secret one!

I don't have details to contact her and explain/warn/apologise...

OP I didn't say you said that. Rather I was commenting that the general tenor of replies on this thread was along those lines and this was not in my opinion helpful. The majority of replies were a variation on men are Neanderthal morons and the friend is a precious self-centred idiot for caring a bit about a harmless tradition that lots of people observe. And therefore your friend has no right to feel miffed at you. I disagreed. And thought it unhelpful to communicate the advice in this thread to her.

Hope you say sorry to your friend and you have a lovely time at the wedding.

Awaits next rude reply.

My wedding - I got married in Dark Blue Velvet with a Scottish Widows style black velvet coat - I look back now and mortified! I wish someone had worn that on DTTB and slated the look!

Duracellred it sounds great!

OP I think there's not much you can do now other than apologise. Whilst it may well not matter, I wouldn't try to minimise it with the bride. The big reveal is definitely how she looks in the dress.