To think the 'information' the midwife gave me is almost propaganda?

[ethelfleda]

Recently had 24 week appointment. This is our first. Midwife asked if I had thought about feeding yet. I said I plan on breastfeeding. I say 'plan' because (as with everything else baby related) I am trying to keep an open mind as from what I hear, things don't always go according to plan! So I will try hard to breastfeed but I won't beat myself up if it doesn't work out for us.
She handed me a 20 odd page pamphlet thing and said it contained useful information on caring for a new born.

I started to read it today thinking it would be basic NHS info on how to feed, wind and change your baby etc. It was actually 20 odd pages of info telling me basically that if i don't breastfeed, my baby is more likely to develop cancer (as am I) as well as be admitted to hospital in their first year of life etc etc among other very scary statistics.
The language used was shocking IMO! And seemingly designed to make women who don't/can't breastfeed feel awful! Has anyone else had this information handed to them and thought it was way over the top??

The propaganda for ff is insidious. As a child we had pretend bottles to feed dolls with.

That's a great point. From when girls/boys are young enough to play with dolls they are given the impression that being fed with a bottle is what's normal.

I remember when I had my DS and I was about to breast feed in front of my niece, who was 6, and she had absolutely no idea what I was doing. She had no clue what breast feeding was and kept asking me where his bottle was.

From dolls, to cartoons, to children's story books, to children's films when do you ever see a baby being breast fed?

And then when they progress onto just watching normal TV programmes like Soaps etc, when do you actually see a baby being breast fed instead of bottle fed?

It's little things like that which normalise bottle feeding over breast feeding from a young age.

However, I completely agree that all the breast feeding encourage pre-birth is completely pointless if the support/help to breast feed isn't there post birth and I don't quite understand why the NHS hasn't clocked on to this.

If a woman wants to try breast feeding then she will regardless of whether she's given 10 leaflets on the subject or not but if she struggles when baby arrives and there is nobody to help her then no amount of 'wanting to do it' will mean she can do it.

Giving my baby special formula saved their life and means they can lead a normal life without being brain damaged.

Equating that to smoking or excessive drinking has just made me feel the old panic in the pit of my stomach.

How dare anyone judge me like that? What do you get from it?

"By your right re the leaflet. Has no place to give in mums at this point."

Really? So if due to your age, BMI and other factors your are in the group of people at risk of heart disease your doctor shouldn't give you information about the risks of not exercising and eating a certain diet?

I just wish mw/hv etc would actually listen
My friend was told in no uncertain terms that she wasn't to breastfeed as her ( essential) medication would harm the baby
She had been on powerful drugs for years and had been under a specialist for all sorts of things
But no the midwives and Heath visitors knew best and made her feel like a crap mum for not bf
Disgraceful

I think as long as your feeding your baby that's the important thing
Plenty of babies survive just fine on formula

It's not the same as heart disease.

Heart disease. Diabetes. Etc only affect and come from one person. You and you alone.

BF sucess depends on you and someone else - i.e. The baby.

No amount of me wanting to BF and no amount of leaflets or gallons of milk in my boobs was ever going to make it possible/ the right thing. And that's the difference.

It takes 2 to BF.

I just don't get why people see a medical information leaflet with facts as propaganda. It just is not the case that ff and bf are just choices of ways to feed a baby, equally good. Yes information about ff and that it is an alternative and how to do so safely should be given but bf is the healthiest option for babies and mums and the NHS are just trying to make this very clear to new mums.

Unfortunately there seems to be so many people now who are fighting against bf "propaganda", questioning the scientific evidence and stats or saying well everyone in my family has always ff and they are just fine.

I'm not saying at all that everyone who ff is a failure or not a good mum or that bf works perfectly for everyone (believe me I know it doesn't) but I do think it's valid and good that the NHS encourages new mums to try. What I would like to see more of is support whilst establishing bfing i.e. more bfing groups, lactation consultants and more acceptance of bfing in public places.

BF Is not the optimal choice for every baby.

I get that on a population level it is, but for the individual it isn't always. And feeding your baby is a personal thing and I don't personally think the leaflets help when you are that small % for whom BF is completely unsuitable or impossible and there has to be a way to phrase them better.

When I was a new mum at 21 I totally ignored all of that, I felt I knew instinctively how to raise my son and I had a very strong maternal instinct and it was all fine. Women have been raising their children for thousands of years without this kind of terrorising advice and I know where the doctor's surgery is.
My son is 35 and turned out just fine.

This statement

"bf is the healthiest option for babies and mums"

No. It isn't always. That statement is simply wrong. It is not always the healthiest option and blanket statements like that are totally unhelpful. (And wrong. Did I mention. Wrong)

I also think more support post birth would help mums who tried and struggled or simply couldn't bf not feel so bad/guilty. I'm pretty sure the pro bf campaign is not intended to make mums feel like crap

Sorry for the blanket statement of course in particular situations it is not the healthiest choice. I did rather generalise there just trying to explain situation from NHS point of view

"But no the midwives and Heath visitors knew best and made her feel like a crap mum for not bf
Disgraceful"

And reversely my GP suggested I stop trying to bf after I had to take antibiotics when I had mastitis and couldn't at all understand why I wanted to carry on. IME GPs are really not educated about BF, many have no idea what medicines are safe to take whilst bf and certainly are not part of a coherent strategy to enable bf. I have encountered a few GPs as well as HVs who were completely uninformed about the benefits and challenges of bf.

"Heart disease. Diabetes. Etc only affect and come from one person. You and you alone. "

Actually not necessarily. Exercise, weight loss and diet are often not down to one person but also their family and what are social norms.

Most problems with bf can be solved with a bit of patience and the right accessible, non-patronisnig enabling ongoing support.

I defiantly think that some people here are way tooooo sensitive about what other people think of them. You feed your child they way it worked best for you why do you care that others bf their dc or know that 'breast is best' on the whole? People will judge your parenting not just in regard to feeding but to everything, how you dress them, how you school them, all sorts.

Tabby I'm sorry I didn't mean to seem like I was picking on you it's just the NHS is full of blanket statements like that and there is no acknowledgement that there are people (both mothers and babies) for whom it isn't the best thing

I never thought I wouldn't BF. I always thought I would. I could. It was my baby that meant it wasn't appropriate for me to.

The guilt I have is massive and I was made to feel awful by HCPs and the posters and generalisations didn't help.

Batteriesgone perhaps I phrased that badly but you need to be so aggressive?

If I have heart disease it is down to me to make the changes I need in my diet and exercise. Someone else changing their diet and exercise regime won't affect my heart disease.

BF isn't the same. My baby was the reason I was unable to BF. So posters (which the baby couldn't read) or books or videos or anything else aimed at me was never going to make a difference.

"The guilt I have is massive and I was made to feel awful by HCPs and the posters and generalisations didn't help." But you did what you could. Maybe you didn't have the right support,which is a real shame but as long as you made the decisions that worked for you and your baby in your circumstances you have nothing to feel guilty about. The campaigns are targeted at everyone not the individual.

Should the NHS remove the posters because some people don't manage to bf? I feel less than great about myself when I see super slim models on billboards because I am a size 14 but I don't expect they remove the posters of skinny models in my city because of my feelings.

Breast is best; a well, sane mother is better.

This. With bells on.

I spent the majority of two years pregnant. During which time I buried one daughter, had two serious post partum haemorrhages, underwent genetic testing and became pregnant again. My second pregnancy was very fraught, very emotional, very stressful time and towards the end downright agony due to hydronephrosis caused by the position of the baby. The only bit I enjoyed was the c section at the end.

I wanted to breastfeed and I did try but it was hard. A lot harder than I had been led to believe it would be and there was very little actual support and honestly I just wanted to feel like my body was my own again. You can call that selfish if you want but I knew I was headed down a dark path. A path I did not want to go down. I wholeheartedly believe that my daughter needed me, sane and well, a heck of a lot more than she needed breast milk, when formula was available. So I sent the husband to the shop for some and never looked back. She is now a happy, bright, noisy, chatty 8 month old, who is crawling and cruising and doing all the things her exclusively breastfed counterparts do.

My HV was very understanding (I haven't seen her all that much to be honest, I get the feeling they are pushed to the limit round here) and didn't push the issue and apart from one extended family member who actually did refer to formula as 'poison' () I can't say I have ever felt judged for bottle feeding. I do think that there needs to be a heck of a lot more support available to breastfeeding mothers and the push to do it needs to extend a lot further than pregnancy. It's not as simple as just putting baby to your breast and away you go.

You really aren't getting what I'm saying at all.

No amount of support would ever have made it possible for me to BF. And to compare what I went through to seeing skinny models as a size 14 person is just belittling.

The information should be balanced. Not just pushing the advantages of breastfeeding but also giving information about the problems which can occur.

The information on formula feeding should not just focus on the practical issues, emphasising the faff element. There should also be information on the positives of formula feeding.

The ultimate goal is a baby who is fed and thriving with parents who are coping and happy.

Mychild- no worries. Sorry you had such a shit time  without going into details I didn't have an easy time either. Bf can be really tough maybe more of that needs to be in the literature.
To be fair I think the NHS are doing their best to encourage a healthier population with very little money. Leafleting and posters etc are a cheaper option.

They want to get the breastfeeding rates up.
Funding is being cut for breastfeeding support services.
Scary leaflets are cheap.

I am very pro- breastfeeding - but there is such a huge difference between supporting women to do it, and haranguing those who can't/don't want to. It boils my piss, it really does.

To those on the thread who didn't/couldn't breastfeed for whatever reason, please don't feel guilty. In no other area of our life do we expect such perfect perfection from ourselves, why should we feel so guilty about not conforming to an idealised vision of motherhood?

"Batteriesgone perhaps I phrased that badly but you need to be so aggressive?" Aggressive? Please point out where I have been aggressive or report to MN

"If I have heart disease it is down to me to make the changes I need in my diet and exercise. Someone else changing their diet and exercise regime won't affect my heart disease." Actually it would. What you eat is very much influenced by what your family, especially your partner eat, what sort of family food is available. How much you exercise is influenced by if and how much people around you do. These are lifestyle factors and they are hugely shaped by your relationships.

The majority of British babies are ff. The first response to any bf issue is usually "give her a bottle" Ff is considered the norm.

So the 'propaganda" doesn't seem to be working!

GnomedePlume - but it isn't balanced without any extenuating circumstances (whether that be physical health, psychological, or other) bf is the healthier option and therefore the NHS who want a healthier population are trying to encourage bf. I would however agree more info on problems and how to help and more support with bf would be good as well as giving info on how to prepare ff safely.

Taby. For me it wasn't just tough. I was never going to be able to BF - which I didn't know until the baby was here. So the guilt was heaped on me - before I even had the child all the Breast is Best - and then my child was found to have a condition that meant I was told I had to stop BF immediately and put them on to special formula.

And then I had to take that baby to many hospital and doctor appointments where the waiting rooms were full for posters telling me How much I was doing the wrong thing in not bf and how my child was gong to have asthma and all kinds of other issues to add to the one I gave them already (as I saw it at the time). And the judgement from HCPs because I wasn't BF and they saw me give my baby a bottle of milk.

There dos need to be an understanding and a recognition tha breast isn't always best and that sometimes those who are feeding with a bottle genuinely have no other choice and the leaflets should reflect this

Batteries. My child has a condition that means they cannot (could not - they are older now) have breast milk or normal formula.

How is any amount of support to me going to change that?

How is comparing it to heart disease or telling me if I'd had more support (aka tried harder) going to help?